Analysis of an Eating Event

Last night, and the night before, are not my proudest moments. Definitely had issues around unplanned extra eating. Certainly not "binges" and certainly not out of control. But I was driven to eat for comfort, not hunger.  I didn't try very hard to fight it, and rationalized why it was ok.  This is dangerous business, this loss of discipline and beginning rationalization. "I've had some success, things seem to be working, so why not lighten up?"

What actually happened?  I was done eating for the day, but then was driven off the couch and into the kitchen searching for something to eat.  I did eat, more than I planned when I said "I have a small amount of the calorie budget left, lets see what I can eat."  Instead, I ended up eating more than I was thinking about when I went searching, and even making one more trip back to the kitchen for one last tid-bit.  It wasn't even that good, but I didn't throw it away, I finished every tiniest bite.

Judith Beck would say to work through some steps to think about this, in best cognitive behavior therapy style.  It's also time to go back to her books, and work through some of the exercises and steps I've skipped over. Here's the drill:

What was I thinking? (This is not rhetorical, but an honest inquiry into thoughts and motivations.)  I was thinking I had room in my calorie budget for an additional treat. I was thinking my diet has been very successful the last couple of weeks, so its time to give myself a treat. I was thinking I was tired, I have been very disciplined all week, I restrained myself during extreme provocations, so it was time to reward myself with another treat.  I really want to feel full, not just "not hungry". I had chicken and green beans for supper instead of pizza, I've got room to eat some sweets.

What would have been helpful responses?  (Self-talk is the cornerstone of cognitive therapy.) Clearly, I am not hungry. This is in my head, not my stomach.  What can I do that would be a different reward? How can I distract myself? What about a nice cup of hot tea?

I'm now feeling like I'm coming down with something. Don't know what. But I'm stuck here in the house with a big snowstorm and very cold blowing weather outside, so distractions are harder to come by.  There is a real temptation to say because I'm sick I don't need to pay attention to what I'm eating. Very bad thinking. Instead, I should think about how much more quickly I'll feel good if I stick to the diet and won't have gained weight when the illness is over.

Often, it has been an illness that knocked me off the diet wagon. I've got some soups in the house, other worthwhile foods as well. Let's stick with them. I'll have a treat, but a planned one worked into the budget.  I should write it down now.