I commented briefly that my weight in the last year was a total disaster. While I ended the year much heavier than I started it, there were in fact seasons to how it went. I find that interesting, and useful feedback on what “works” and what doesn’t. Here is a 12-month picture:
So I gained more than 8 pounds over the course of the year, but not in a steady line. While I was working, I was in a state of heightened tension and deferring any weight control till I had time. The summer, as you blog readers know, I was focused on myself, both eating and physical activity, and was doing pretty well. Things basically went to hell after my mother died in September - I was totally in a “eating is the least of my issues” state of mind. I did try to tamp things down, but the holidays got to me. Now, I’m back to thinking very mindfully about what I am eating and it is starting to have an effect.
Weight is only one small aspect of my well being, but it’s not nothing. In particular, it has a big impact on what clothes fit, and thus how I feel when I go out in the world. So understanding that my efforts last summer were not in vain is helpful. And weight is most impacted by what I eat, not what else I do. So, mindfully paying attention is important to managing this.
I want to mention that posting weight graphs nearly always happens only after some short-term success at losing, so almost every graph I’ve posted on this blog has a recent downward trend. I look all the time, but I don’t always share.
(This graph is from trendweight.com, which I have been using for quite a while. Since I have a wifi scale that sends the weight to a database in the cloud automatically, this site reads the data and plots it. It also does a trend, based on an engineering algorithm to separate “signal” from “noise” - it looks at weight over a period of time, with the most recent data carrying more weight (he he) in the formula.)
Thursday, February 13, 2020
Monday, February 10, 2020
Wrapping up 2019
2019 was a shit-show of a year in many ways. It also had many good points, and high point, but overall it was year of unusual events and a struggle to find my way. But I can't be philosophical, not when there is data to post! Here follows my report card for the year as a whole.
First, fitness and activity. It's a mixed bag, and a constant struggle. Look for the darker green to see the good stuff. I peaked in August, and have been slipping since. The dark days of November and December were not so great.
Weight is a total disaster, a steady climb. My main tool for fighting weight gain, tracking and consciously monitoring my food (with the intent to limit it), has started to come into play more, so there is hope.
Wellness measures are a mixed bag, things I do and the results they achieve.
I am a champion sleeper, however, and getting better! And look - last January had an insane amount of meditation! I guess that's what I did at my desk during the government shutdown - close my eyes, and breathe - since I wasn't allowed to work at my normal job.
Fun and entertaining things certainly shot up after I retired. Though, as I went into my physical shutdown of the dark days at the end of the year, reading probably substituted for a lot of more active and useful things I could have been doing.
I decided spending was not useful to report here, because the data is so squirrelly. I have funeral and estate expenses mixed in with my money, as well as new bank accounts, etc.. I use almost no cash, and have connected Mint to track all of my electronic transactions, but it isn't "clean". For example, Mint thinks my hardware store is a coffee shop, though I keep correcting them. Wrangling the data into useful categories takes time. And there are such periodic unusual expenses even without a death - home renovations, property taxes, travel. Many expenses don't lend themselves to a monthly budget - like clothes, or electronics, which are lumpy. I am continuing to track my spending and play with it, but trends are not easy to pick out because of lumpiness. Going forward, I think I'm going to track and report my food spending, because that is one area where I think I spend too much and could do a lot better. Maybe also clothes as discretionary? But food should be pretty steady month-to-month, where clothes it would be more about an annual budget... Hmm.
So what have I learned from the exercise of tracking and looking at this data? I had a good summer, and then things fell apart. But not as steep a decline as I thought, and there are things I can do to improve. I'll keep on tracking some of these things through this year.
First, fitness and activity. It's a mixed bag, and a constant struggle. Look for the darker green to see the good stuff. I peaked in August, and have been slipping since. The dark days of November and December were not so great.
| Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | |
| Avg Calories Exp | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### |
| Days >2,000 cal | 6 | 7 | 7 | 10 | 16 | 14 | 12 | 13 | 10 | 12 | 8 | 8 |
| Avg Daily Steps | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### | #### |
| Days <5 steps="" td=""> 5> | 5 | 4 | 5 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 4 | 3 | 4 | 1 | 2 | 4 |
| Miles Biked | - | - | - | - | - | - | 5 | 9 | - | - | - | |
| Miles Walked | 26 | 16 | 8 | 17 | 15 | 38 | 28 | 48 | 15 | 12 | 25 | 25 |
| Miles Run | - | - | 6 | 3 | 5 | 11 | 6 | 1 | 11 | - | 2 | 5 |
| Workout Days | 13 | 7 | 8 | 6 | 7 | 9 | 12 | 23 | 11 |
Weight is a total disaster, a steady climb. My main tool for fighting weight gain, tracking and consciously monitoring my food (with the intent to limit it), has started to come into play more, so there is hope.
| Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | |
| End Weight (week) | 159 | 160 | 161 | 163 | 163 | 163 | 164 | 164 | 163 | 166 | 166 | 168 |
| Days Food Tracked | - | 10 | - | - | - | - | - | 16 | 4 | 1 | 7 | 7 |
Wellness measures are a mixed bag, things I do and the results they achieve.
| Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | |
| # Min Meditate | 439 | 235 | 178 | 81 | 143 | 295 | 215 | 333 | 229 | 223 | 145 | 150 |
| # Times Meditate | 42 | 22 | 20 | 11 | 15 | 23 | 21 | 29 | 21 | 26 | 10 | 11 |
| Migraine Hours | - | - | - | - | 20 | 24 | 11 | 27 | 13 | 44 | 14 | 21 |
| Sleep Hours | 7.1 | 7.3 | 7.3 | 6.8 | 7.0 | 7.3 | 7.0 | 7.4 | 7.2 | 7.2 | 7.5 | 7.5 |
| Resting Heart Rate | 62 | 63 | 63 | 62 | 61 | 61 | 60 | 59 | 63 | 64 | 62 | 62 |
I am a champion sleeper, however, and getting better! And look - last January had an insane amount of meditation! I guess that's what I did at my desk during the government shutdown - close my eyes, and breathe - since I wasn't allowed to work at my normal job.
Fun and entertaining things certainly shot up after I retired. Though, as I went into my physical shutdown of the dark days at the end of the year, reading probably substituted for a lot of more active and useful things I could have been doing.
| Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec | |
| # Books Read | 8 | 7 | 4 | 1 | 0 | 12 | 11 | 9 | 3 | 4 | 7 | 10 |
| # Blog Posts | 6 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 3 | 6 | 8 | 7 | 10 | 7 | 6 | 1 |
| # Trips downtown | -- | -- | -- | -- | -- | 1 | 5 | 2 | 1 | 4 | 1 | 0 |
| # Days Boat | -- | -- | -- | 1 | 2 | 3 | 2 |
7
|
3 | 1 | 1 | 0 |
I decided spending was not useful to report here, because the data is so squirrelly. I have funeral and estate expenses mixed in with my money, as well as new bank accounts, etc.. I use almost no cash, and have connected Mint to track all of my electronic transactions, but it isn't "clean". For example, Mint thinks my hardware store is a coffee shop, though I keep correcting them. Wrangling the data into useful categories takes time. And there are such periodic unusual expenses even without a death - home renovations, property taxes, travel. Many expenses don't lend themselves to a monthly budget - like clothes, or electronics, which are lumpy. I am continuing to track my spending and play with it, but trends are not easy to pick out because of lumpiness. Going forward, I think I'm going to track and report my food spending, because that is one area where I think I spend too much and could do a lot better. Maybe also clothes as discretionary? But food should be pretty steady month-to-month, where clothes it would be more about an annual budget... Hmm.
So what have I learned from the exercise of tracking and looking at this data? I had a good summer, and then things fell apart. But not as steep a decline as I thought, and there are things I can do to improve. I'll keep on tracking some of these things through this year.
Saturday, February 8, 2020
How Much is Too Much?
| Bags is the first of many issues in this closet. I’m going in! Send help if I’m not heard from. |
So I did the Kondo thing and pulled them all out, added a few bags that had found other homes, and tried hard to divest myself of most of them. I invited my girl to take her pick, and she went for one of my favorites! But it was my fourth favorite, not my first or even my second, so I let her keep it. I’ve put some of the others into a bag, waiting for drop-off at the donation center.
But its hard. I don’t know why I like bags so much. I happened to be in the Container Store this week and of course I browsed the bags - they have some with features I like. But they are not substantially different from the ones I have, just colors and combinations I don’t have... But no. Not now.
Tuesday, January 21, 2020
Motto: ENGAGE!
I gave myself a one-word motto (mantra, resolution, saying, decision rule) last year: MOVE. This was an idea adopted from listening to Gretchen Rubin's podcast, Happier. After the initial announcement here, I don't think I re-visited how it was working in any post here. I did, however, often remind myself of it. It popped up in my ruminations, sometimes while lying on the couch.
What was the point? Did it make a difference?
Reviews are mixed, but given the very low investment, it certainly didn't hurt and was worth doing. So I've adopted a new one this year: Engage!
Some of the joy of a one-word motto is how I can read many meanings into it. The more specific, the harder that is to do. But with just one word, multiple contexts can imbue it with multiple layers of meaning to me. And that's all that matters - what it means to me.
The iconic use of the word, copied here, is Jean-Luc Picard commanding the Enterprise into action. I think of it, for me, also as propelling to action. But more specific types of actions than Move was about last year.
I've written about my tendency towards lighthouse keeping before. Much of the time, I'd be perfectly content to live on an island by myself, with some useful work, and a lot of time to just be me, all alone. I love this. But I don't want this always. I value friends, social connections, and also being involved in the public forum to try to do some good. I need to urge myself forward out of my happy little self-centered bubble to engagement.
So I plan family engagements, social engagements, engaging on a civic and political level, and engaging with personal issues such as money and health. I also vow to engage my core muscles as often as I possibly can, to enhance back health!
Enough sitting around. Mr. Riker, Engage!
What was the point? Did it make a difference?
Reviews are mixed, but given the very low investment, it certainly didn't hurt and was worth doing. So I've adopted a new one this year: Engage!
Some of the joy of a one-word motto is how I can read many meanings into it. The more specific, the harder that is to do. But with just one word, multiple contexts can imbue it with multiple layers of meaning to me. And that's all that matters - what it means to me.
The iconic use of the word, copied here, is Jean-Luc Picard commanding the Enterprise into action. I think of it, for me, also as propelling to action. But more specific types of actions than Move was about last year.
I've written about my tendency towards lighthouse keeping before. Much of the time, I'd be perfectly content to live on an island by myself, with some useful work, and a lot of time to just be me, all alone. I love this. But I don't want this always. I value friends, social connections, and also being involved in the public forum to try to do some good. I need to urge myself forward out of my happy little self-centered bubble to engagement.
So I plan family engagements, social engagements, engaging on a civic and political level, and engaging with personal issues such as money and health. I also vow to engage my core muscles as often as I possibly can, to enhance back health!
Enough sitting around. Mr. Riker, Engage!
Monday, January 20, 2020
Time, Time, Time, Where Do You Go?
I was ready to write a nice, humorous, optimistic post. But when I turned on my laptop, it was so slow as to be unusable.
That was two and a half hours ago. I've been down the rabbit hole of is it hardware or software, and maybe made some improvements, but not gonna sit still anymore right now. See you all later.
That was two and a half hours ago. I've been down the rabbit hole of is it hardware or software, and maybe made some improvements, but not gonna sit still anymore right now. See you all later.
Sunday, January 5, 2020
2019 Recap: Weight is Out of Control
This blog started focusing on diet and exercise. I've had a lot of success, but not recently. As I focus on other things, and I get older, and other things change, this is a sad story. This post is solely a recap, not about resolutions and what I'm doing about it, only about what has happened. Just the facts.
Since 2017, I've been gaining weight. I managed to interrupt the weight gain just once in the past two years - in anticipation of my hiking retreat in October 2018. After that, I had my knee surgery in December 2018, and I feel like I've felt crappy ever since. Value of the blog: I was able to look back at what I wrote during that brief weight loss. I was following strict rules - the kind that work well for a while and then exhaust me.
It is helpful to look at the history, and see where my weight has been in the past, without having to rely only on my memory. I had my second big loss when I started the blog. I was focused and able to sustain things for quite a while. But I was also ten years younger - not a small change to remember.
Now, I'm still below where I was when I started this effort - though not by much. But since one of my mottoes is, "It could be worse", I can take comfort in this.
And, with an even longer perspective, I've benefited from having sustained a weight loss from my peak for twenty-two years. That ain't nothin'. "Better than a hit in the head", as my mother would say.
However, let's be clear: I am on a bad trajectory. There is clear evidence that whatever I'm doing is not working to control my weight. There is also clear evidence that weight loss is followed by a boomerang effect, just as every health guru will assert when they say diets don't work. And I have pretty clear personal evidence that the weight gain is bad for the rest of my health (there may be chicken-versus-egg issues there, but that's a rumination for another day).
Happy New Year, everyone. Still hanging in there. Time to engage!
![]() | |
| My weight in 2018 and 2019 |
Since 2017, I've been gaining weight. I managed to interrupt the weight gain just once in the past two years - in anticipation of my hiking retreat in October 2018. After that, I had my knee surgery in December 2018, and I feel like I've felt crappy ever since. Value of the blog: I was able to look back at what I wrote during that brief weight loss. I was following strict rules - the kind that work well for a while and then exhaust me.
It is helpful to look at the history, and see where my weight has been in the past, without having to rely only on my memory. I had my second big loss when I started the blog. I was focused and able to sustain things for quite a while. But I was also ten years younger - not a small change to remember.
![]() |
| My weight since I began blogging in 2010 |
And, with an even longer perspective, I've benefited from having sustained a weight loss from my peak for twenty-two years. That ain't nothin'. "Better than a hit in the head", as my mother would say.
![]() |
| My weight since 1988 |
However, let's be clear: I am on a bad trajectory. There is clear evidence that whatever I'm doing is not working to control my weight. There is also clear evidence that weight loss is followed by a boomerang effect, just as every health guru will assert when they say diets don't work. And I have pretty clear personal evidence that the weight gain is bad for the rest of my health (there may be chicken-versus-egg issues there, but that's a rumination for another day).
Happy New Year, everyone. Still hanging in there. Time to engage!
Tuesday, December 3, 2019
Walk Towards the Light
"Walk towards the light" is a design principle used by an architect who published a series of books I gobbled up over the past few years: Sarah Susanka, with the Not So Big House series. She has a series of principles and practical suggestions, many of which I've incorporated into my own small house. The "walk towards the light" idea is that people are naturally drawn towards the light, so use that concept in placing windows, hallways, lighting, and lighted art works, to make it comfortable and natural to move around your home. One specific example is my newly renovated basement - I had one additional window excavated to a large size in the big, main room down there, not required for "legal bedroom exit" status, but because it's at the foot of the stairway and faces west. In the afternoon, light streams in from outside, and it draws you down the stairs to the otherwise underground space.
Light is very important to me. I'm convinced the gloom of my middle school years, spent in Ann Arbor and England, was influenced by the gloom over the winters. By contrast, the South Shore of Long Island, heavily influenced by the Atlantic Ocean, is one of the sunniest places in the country during the winter months. Moving back there for my high school years was a life saver. Back to Ann Arbor for college and grad school, we once went 45 days without enough sun to cast a shadow. I remember hunkering down into vegetative status in the winters. Chicago, on the west side of the Great Lakes, was significantly less gloomy in winter than Michigan. But I'm convinced I never would have gotten the gumption to apply for the job in DC if we hadn't had a glorious, stationary, high-pressure system sitting over Chicago for four weeks at just exactly the right time. It was frigid - during that time it never climbed above 5 degrees! But it was light, all day, every (short) day, and I soaked it up, through windows at work and bundling up to go cross-country skiing on weekends.
When I moved to DC, my first office at my new job was an interior one, with no glimpse of the outside. I read a book on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and I was afraid of what the dark would do to me. I had started The Big Weight-loss, and key to that was nordic tracking for a time every single morning. I bought a specialty florescent sunlight lamp on a mounting pole that allowed it to shine in my face as I exercised. This is reckoned to be the absolute best method for use of a lamp to ward off SAD - in your face, first thing upon rising, while exercising. No doubt the energy from the light helped in the weight-loss.
I bought my current house primarily for its windows, secondarily for its lot and the gardening possibilities. (Of course, location came first!) Built in 1950 when tract housing was shooting up all over the U.S., it has several detectable Prairie School influences (in the pitch of the roof and overhangs) and mid-Century modern as well (in the large combination living/dining room, and several modernist touches in materials and trim), rescuing it from the dark, chopped up standards at the time. Shaped like an "L", with the two bedrooms on the base of the "L" and the public rooms along the upright, it's oriented close to north-south, with the bedrooms being the north wing. Every room has big windows, and from almost every spot in the house you can see outdoors on at least two different sides (if doors and blinds are open). But as I've recently spent more days in the house at all hours, I've noticed subleties in the light patterns in these most dark days of the year.
Clearly, the axis of the house is skewed from true north/south, so that east-facing windows get less morning light than west-facing windows get in the afternoon. I move consciously through the house, following the light. I have a "morning chair" in my office with east windows. I usually get up before full light, so the chair has a nice reading spotlight. I sit with my ipad and coffee, catching up on blogs, social media, and the news. The sun is rising behind me - if I turn I can watch it, but as I sit I can see rays in the room, and through to the next room to watch the sun cast light on the trees outside on the west side. I recently also bought a small sunlight lamp, because I found grey days seemed to sap my energy even with consciously trying to get outdoors more. It's a small thing, relatively inexpensive, and I set it up right next to my face as I read, for 15-20 minutes. Maybe it helps - so hard to tell.
By the time it's full light, the kitchen with east and south windows is lovely. That's when I clean up from the night before (yes I go to bed with the dishes undone) and plan the day's activities and meals. Somewhere in there I go to the basement where my workout room gets some natural light from the north, but is very very well lit.
I generally eat breakfast and hang out in my sunroom if I'm home and reading or writing for the morning. This room, known also as the TV room and the dog's room, started life as a screen porch and then was winterized. It has giant windows on the east, south, and west! This makes it a poor TV room in the summer when glare affects the screen most of the time, but it is a lovely place to spend a portion of my day these days. (It's very doggy, and a deep cleaning of furniture and new floor coverings will happen between dogs, whenever that is. For the time being, it works for me and my four-legged guy better than for guests.)
By the early afternoon, my big room is getting the light. This is where I'll finish out my day. I use my dining room table as working desk when I plunge into finances and paperwork. I flop on the living room couch with books or the ipad. My bedroom faces west and north, and any cleaning, organizing, or decorating projects in there are likely to be kicked off in the late afternoon during its brief time of streaming light.
During these dark days, I also pay attention to the spectrum and intensity of my interior lighting. In both my bedroom and my living room I have intense daylight spectrum lightbulbs I use in the daytime, but I try to avoid them in the evening. My bedside reading light is specifically a red-spectrum evening light, and I invested in a fancy alarm clock that gradually runs through the spectrum from red to blue light as the way to wake up. (I'm not using the alarm clock most days these days. Don't hate me for being retired.)
This pattern of moving around the house with the sun actually started unconsciously. Now that I've noticed it, I've decided to adopt it as a default routine. I'm like a photophillic phototropic plant. I like the light and I follow it!
Light is very important to me. I'm convinced the gloom of my middle school years, spent in Ann Arbor and England, was influenced by the gloom over the winters. By contrast, the South Shore of Long Island, heavily influenced by the Atlantic Ocean, is one of the sunniest places in the country during the winter months. Moving back there for my high school years was a life saver. Back to Ann Arbor for college and grad school, we once went 45 days without enough sun to cast a shadow. I remember hunkering down into vegetative status in the winters. Chicago, on the west side of the Great Lakes, was significantly less gloomy in winter than Michigan. But I'm convinced I never would have gotten the gumption to apply for the job in DC if we hadn't had a glorious, stationary, high-pressure system sitting over Chicago for four weeks at just exactly the right time. It was frigid - during that time it never climbed above 5 degrees! But it was light, all day, every (short) day, and I soaked it up, through windows at work and bundling up to go cross-country skiing on weekends.
When I moved to DC, my first office at my new job was an interior one, with no glimpse of the outside. I read a book on Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and I was afraid of what the dark would do to me. I had started The Big Weight-loss, and key to that was nordic tracking for a time every single morning. I bought a specialty florescent sunlight lamp on a mounting pole that allowed it to shine in my face as I exercised. This is reckoned to be the absolute best method for use of a lamp to ward off SAD - in your face, first thing upon rising, while exercising. No doubt the energy from the light helped in the weight-loss.
I bought my current house primarily for its windows, secondarily for its lot and the gardening possibilities. (Of course, location came first!) Built in 1950 when tract housing was shooting up all over the U.S., it has several detectable Prairie School influences (in the pitch of the roof and overhangs) and mid-Century modern as well (in the large combination living/dining room, and several modernist touches in materials and trim), rescuing it from the dark, chopped up standards at the time. Shaped like an "L", with the two bedrooms on the base of the "L" and the public rooms along the upright, it's oriented close to north-south, with the bedrooms being the north wing. Every room has big windows, and from almost every spot in the house you can see outdoors on at least two different sides (if doors and blinds are open). But as I've recently spent more days in the house at all hours, I've noticed subleties in the light patterns in these most dark days of the year.
Clearly, the axis of the house is skewed from true north/south, so that east-facing windows get less morning light than west-facing windows get in the afternoon. I move consciously through the house, following the light. I have a "morning chair" in my office with east windows. I usually get up before full light, so the chair has a nice reading spotlight. I sit with my ipad and coffee, catching up on blogs, social media, and the news. The sun is rising behind me - if I turn I can watch it, but as I sit I can see rays in the room, and through to the next room to watch the sun cast light on the trees outside on the west side. I recently also bought a small sunlight lamp, because I found grey days seemed to sap my energy even with consciously trying to get outdoors more. It's a small thing, relatively inexpensive, and I set it up right next to my face as I read, for 15-20 minutes. Maybe it helps - so hard to tell.
| My sunny kitchen |
By the time it's full light, the kitchen with east and south windows is lovely. That's when I clean up from the night before (yes I go to bed with the dishes undone) and plan the day's activities and meals. Somewhere in there I go to the basement where my workout room gets some natural light from the north, but is very very well lit.
I generally eat breakfast and hang out in my sunroom if I'm home and reading or writing for the morning. This room, known also as the TV room and the dog's room, started life as a screen porch and then was winterized. It has giant windows on the east, south, and west! This makes it a poor TV room in the summer when glare affects the screen most of the time, but it is a lovely place to spend a portion of my day these days. (It's very doggy, and a deep cleaning of furniture and new floor coverings will happen between dogs, whenever that is. For the time being, it works for me and my four-legged guy better than for guests.)
| The sunroom in the afternoon. |
By the early afternoon, my big room is getting the light. This is where I'll finish out my day. I use my dining room table as working desk when I plunge into finances and paperwork. I flop on the living room couch with books or the ipad. My bedroom faces west and north, and any cleaning, organizing, or decorating projects in there are likely to be kicked off in the late afternoon during its brief time of streaming light.
During these dark days, I also pay attention to the spectrum and intensity of my interior lighting. In both my bedroom and my living room I have intense daylight spectrum lightbulbs I use in the daytime, but I try to avoid them in the evening. My bedside reading light is specifically a red-spectrum evening light, and I invested in a fancy alarm clock that gradually runs through the spectrum from red to blue light as the way to wake up. (I'm not using the alarm clock most days these days. Don't hate me for being retired.)
This pattern of moving around the house with the sun actually started unconsciously. Now that I've noticed it, I've decided to adopt it as a default routine. I'm like a photophillic phototropic plant. I like the light and I follow it!
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