What I've Been Cooking

I'm trying hard to cook more often, and along the way to eat more vegetables. I get a lot of inspiration from the daily newspaper, the Washington Post and especially the New York Times. Here are some things I've made recently. (Very few pictures, but most of the linked recipes have their own pictures.)

deconstructed roasted ratatouille

This was inspired by the Washington Post recipe for Ratatouille Galette. Eggplant, zucchini, red onion, and tomatoes are sliced on the mandoline and laid out in a pattern. To make a galette, it should be done on puff pastry. I actually bought some frozen pastry, and then decided not to use it. This was yummy just baked like this. A spatula scooped up intact rectangles for serving.

One oldie-but-goodie recipe I made for a family dinner is from one of my old cookbooks, the Silver Palate Goodtimes Cookbook. I made grilled shrimp with prosciutto and basil. The shrimp is marinated in lemon, olive oil, garlic and basil, and then wrapped in basil leaves and prosciutto, skewered, and grilled. The marination and the wrapping keep the shrimp from drying out. It's very time consuming to do the wrapping and skewering - I bought the largest shrimp I could find. I grow very large-leafed basil, so they worked very well in the wrapping.

I'm trying to eat less processed food, and most sausages are considered processed meat. (Though I wonder if fresh, uncooked sausages are?) I love sweet Italian sausage, and so I got a recipe for flavoring your own ground turkey (or chicken or pork). There were several recipes on-line. Of course the magic ingredient is fennel. I ended up using this one from AllRecipes.com. I like to just use the meat sauteed anyway, usually with onions and perhaps zucchini and tomatoes.

A recurrent meal I make is this Braised Chicken with Lemon and Olives. It's a casserole cooked in the oven (no stovetop browning) with whole Meyer lemons cut up and in the pot. You eat them skin and all when cooked. My store doesn't always have Meyer lemons, and when they do, I snap them up and make this. It smells so good! And tastes that way as well.

It's eggplant and zucchini season and I've had several edible zucchinis from my very own garden! I did this recipe for air fried zucchini, and it was excellent. It uses mayonnaise to make the coating of herbs and breadcrumbs stick. There are many recipes for roasted eggplants; I settled on this one which I've made twice. No salting the eggplant in advance. (One school of thought is fresh eggplant has no need, it's old ones that are bitter.) The recommended coating of olive oil, garlic, salt, and herbs and spices is brushed on both sides in the roasting pan just before cooking, and then the slices are flipped halfway through. The first time I made it I used the recommended cumin; the second time I wanted a different flavor family and chopped the garlic and then fresh basil leaves in my mini-food processor before adding the other ingredients and applying with a basting brush. Both versions were very good - I found myself picking up browned slices right from the pan and juggling the heat in my fingers before popping them right in my mouth. 

I generally only buy corn on the cob at the farmer's market. I usually just microwave the unshucked ears for 3-4 minutes and then eat them as a separate course with butter and salt. But I also like various sautees with the kernels stripped from the cobs and cooked briefly on top of the stove. So I made this chicken, marinated with basil and lime and then grilled, and served it with the recommended lime butter on the side, and a saute of corn, zucchini, and shallots, also flavored with basil.

On a similar note, since I loved the lime and corn combination, for a family dinner that needed to include a hearty vegan dish, I made this corn and chickpea salad. I kept the arugula on the side to be added at the table, because there were substantial leftovers of the main chickpea-corn mixture, which kept for a few days and only got better. 

Summer is inspiring! I've got a few more zucchini recipes stacked up, notably different types of frittatas. The basil supply is in no danger of running out. I think I'm going to slice off some branches and dry them, since I'm out of dried basil in a jar in the kitchen. Seems silly to go buy any!

Air Frying

Brussels Sprouts

My vegan girl got an air fryer a couple of years ago, and has raved non-stop about how wonderful it is. I was interested (I've eaten some good stuff she has cooked) but I can't add any appliances to my small kitchen unless I get rid of something to make room. I know that anything I store in the basement won't get used (except if it's once a year, such as the cookie press). I can't abide the thought of cluttering my already busy countertops with more things.

I finally figured out that Cuisinart (and probably other brands) make combined toaster ovens / air fryers. The section of counter I use for the toaster oven is small, with an overhanging cupboard. I saw something at Costco a few weeks ago I thought might fit, and a second visit with a tape measure made it clear. In the interim, I did some research on-line. The exact Costco model wasn't available elsewhere, in a typical move for them. But the nearest equivalent on Amazon was about $100 more expensive - not always the case, but knowing that made me feel good. I got it, and found a good home for my perfectly good old toaster oven with my boy.

Zucchini

Yes, guys, air frying really is wonderful. It is, actually, convection cooking. Convection ovens had a moment back in the 1980s, and in fact I had one. But they were considered tools primarily for cooking roast meats a little faster than in the oven - mine had no broiler type element for browning and really was a dud. I didn't use it much.

But now, in my mind, air frying is for vegetables! And right now is the season for roasted vegetables! I've made brussels sprouts, mushrooms, eggplant, zucchini, cauliflower, broccoli, butternut squash, vidalia onions.... The basic technique is the same for each. Cut into chunks (about an inch is good, things shrink dramatically as the air blows the moisture out). Put into a bowl, toss with olive oil and salt, perhaps some herbs or spices, then spread in the fryer basket. Cook for some variation of 400 to 450 degrees for eight to twenty minutes, stirring them up from time to time. Zucchini and eggplant each got extra steps of being salted in a colander for a few minutes before tossing with oil and cooking - it pulled moisture out.

I had to laugh at one recipe that was extremely precise on the temperature: 390 degrees!, but then said to cook for 8 to 12 minutes, requiring you to keep an eye on it. I'm from time to time checking recipes online to get an idea on timing, but mostly I'm winging it since recipes vary so much. My girl often steams the veggies in the microwave before crisping them up in the air fryer. I would do that for a special recipe, but so far I've been quite successful without that extra step. I think I might do that with potatoes - potatoes and sweet potatoes are my girl's standard breakfast.

Cauliflower

I recently roasted some butternut squash in the oven, with shallots, and it was quite a bit squishier than the air fryer makes it. The characteristic of air frying is less moisture, nicely browned, and less oil used in cooking them. The zucchini really had a nice nutty flavor, both better flavor and way better texture than recent sauteed dishes I've had. I did the cauliflower tossed with zaatar as well as olive oil - it was great! But I had to do the big head in two batches, a little too much for my small oven. I often buy cut up butternut squash at the store because I find handling the whole big hard squash to be enough of a barrier to keep me from cooking it. So now, I toss the already-cooked chunks into a bowl to toss with oil, and then toss into the basket and I have cooked winter squash in about 15 minutes from opening the fridge. I bought cut up portobello mushrooms and did the same thing. They were dry when done, and I put them in an omelet with onions and cheese and I liked them enormously. Brushed with liquid smoke portobello mushrooms are a form of vegan "bacon", adding umami and smokiness to dishes. I have some liquid smoke, and I'll give that a try. But just the shrooms without the smoke were quite tasty, with a somewhat firmer texture than when sauteed.

So I'm very happy with my new kitchen appliance. One word of warning - most air fryers, including mine, don't have a great deal of capacity. It wouldn't work for big family meals, not to make a big dish, unless it was possible to do things in shifts. But it might be interesting to use it to do something as an ingredient in a bigger dish - mushrooms, for example. But because mostly I'm cooking for myself, a meal featuring one really great vegetable with perhaps a little meat on the side is just fine for me.

My next experiment, probably tonight, will be air frying an apple (as an alternative to microwave "baking"). Toss with neutral oil and cinnamon, serve with a little butter and sugar.

Fat

I started this post several days ago, and abandoned it after a while. It had nothing new to say about what to do with the fact I am fat. If I don't want to be fat, I should eat less and move more. Specifically, I should have better portion control at meals, eat more vegetables, and fewer sweets, especially at night. And if I was an Intuitive Eating success story, all of the above would come naturally. But while of course I'm not happy with how I look and feel, I am not willing to make a stringent commitment to do something about it. So I'm muddling along, making changes at the margin some days, other days, not so much.

I was going to delete the partial post below, but I think the emotion expressed is true, and I want to capture it, for myself.

 

I am fat. I weigh more than I have in 25 years, and it isn't all muscle. I am fat. My clothes do not fit well. My stomach gets in the way of certain exercises or stretches. These are facts, not feelings.

I don't like the way my body looks and feels. I am ambivalent about what and how I have been eating. These are feelings, not facts.

Fuck you, intuitive eating! You have screwed up how I think and feel and act around food. Before I read the book, I would have said I only needed to modify two main things in my diet: better portion control at every meal but especially at night, and better control of night time sweets. Now, I think I'm in much more disordered eating, because IE advocates eating whatever you want whenever you want. The subtlety of IE comes in the word "want" - getting that right - but I'm not sure I'm ever going to get there. And I'm also not willing right now to go back to the more structured eating I was doing before. So I'm stuck, and not happy about it. But it's all within my control. I just want to let go and not have to be in control. Ugh.

Fall Eating

Brussels and Sweet Potatoes

I've gone full on brassica-vore since it's now Fall. (Aside: it's bangin' out there with acorns pelting down, making the term "Fall" a bigger deal than the image of gently wafting leaves down. I was thinking I needed a hardhat in my front yard!)  Many of my favorite foods are now in season, and it just feels right to eat them. Cabbage, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cauliflower, I love them all! But it doesn't always feel right to eat them, when they are not in season and they don't look great in the store. Only broccoli do I buy frozen, to add to other dishes. All the others have to be fresh.

I made this fabulous version of roast cauliflower the other day, from the New York Times, source of many of my experiments. This version has pancetta, olives, and parmesan, and half a cup of olive oil - so it satisfies my seasonal craving for blubber (got to fatten up to get through the winter, don't ya know). It definitely  made some meals by itself for me, not a side. I didn't think it would freeze well, so having done a whole head of cauliflower (and why not) I needed to eat it up quickly - three or four days. I have been known to eat an entire head of roasted cauliflower in one sitting, but this version is so very rich even I could not do that.

Roasted brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes on a sheet pan were even better for having bacon, shallots, and apples added (the apples for only the last ten minutes). Again, a complete meal, which I ate for several days. I need to be careful about over-buying, because when I'm with other folks, mostly we're eating out (or takeout) and it takes me a while eating alone to use up the vegetables.

Cabbage I don't roast, but it sautes up nicely and pairs perfectly with onions. I will have it with eggs scrambled in, or leftover rice as fried rice. Or, it can go with anything with gravy (omitting a starch) or be tossed in the pot for soups. And a shout-out to cabbage for being a champion keeper - I've had them last a month in my vegetable drawer. I wouldn't have tried to make a fresh coleslaw from the old head, but it was just fine as a well-cooked ingredient.

Broccoli is the easiest. Quick chop into my pyrex casserole, a quarter cup water, put on the lid, and microwave away. It's fine by itself, especially with parmesan and/or creme fraiche, or like cabbage, on the plate with something else. I've roasted broccoli in the toaster oven (especially for the sparse harvests when I grew it myself a year ago) but if I'm going to spend the time to roast, I'd rather have cauliflower or brussels sprouts.

No offense kale, I don't hate you, but I'm not in the habit of cooking you. 

As the brassicas take over my cuisine, lettuce-based salads fall off. I buy pre-washed lettuce mixes and I find some leaves are tending to slime before I get around to finishing off the bag, tainting the whole bag. Time to get out my countertop garden and grow my own!

I've got another head of cauliflower I ought to cook today. I'll do it roasted with just some olive oil, because I've got some fancy Octoberfest sausages I did on the grill yesterday. Yum!

Costco Pitfalls

 I love Costco! But, since I live alone, sometimes it just doesn't make sense for me to shop there. But I love to go there! And, they have certain things that I can't get elsewhere. 

So yesterday I took a trip there - my first in-person visit this year. I left with a $200 cash register tape. But there were pitfalls.

I'm trying very hard to reduce food waste. And, I'm trying to manage portion control in a way that will allow me to lose weight. Only a very disciplined trip, with a list, would succeed at those dual ambitions. I was maybe moderately successful? Because after all the "Costco treasure hunt" is part of their deliberate marketing strategy, to keep pulling us back in. They don't always have the same stuff, and they make sure they have rotating displays of things you wouldn't expect to find there, but when you do, it's such a good deal you have to buy it even if it wasn't something you ever thought you wanted.

So food was the main point. There are three things I specifically go to Costco for: 

• Big bags of Mayorga coffee beans
• Aidell's Chicken Apple Sausage, a staple in my house since 1995
• Yakisoba frozen noodles and veggies, a three minute tasty vegan dinner

 I did get those things, I did. So the trip was successful. And yes, even though I already had a two month supply, I bought toilet paper. I passed up the 5-pound bag of clementines (I rarely finish a normal 3-pound bag), and the 5-pound bag of fresh brussels sprouts. But then I grabbed a 10-pound bag of Vidalia onions, driven by the "only available for a short time" message. But Vidalias are not good keepers, so I need to eat an awful lot of onions fast. (Good on the grill, can peel, slice, wrap in aluminum foil with olive oil. One serves two people at most.) I passed up the 12-packs of muffins, the 4-dozen cookies, the very good but big-enough-to-use-as-a-step-stool banana bread. In rebound from my magnificent self-control, I then grabbed a big box of apple strudel.

I have a thing for pastries with apples. Our local grocery, Giant, makes fabulous apple turnovers. I buy them, but a box of eight full size turnovers doesn't last 36 hours in my house. Light and airy, they aren't that substantial, but they are never-the-less filled with fat and sugar. So clearly I wasn't thinking clearly when this box of ten large strudel pastries went into the cart. 

Last night I had half of one, in lieu of a starch at dinner, and was satisfied. Heavier pastry than Giant turnovers, but very tasty. Now, I'm going to save the other half of last night's for today, but the other nine are getting sliced in half each, wrapped individually and tossed in the freezer. If they don't do well in the freezer, that's too bad, I'm just not eating them all at once and I won't just toss them in the garbage without trying to ration myself first.

Sadly, all the Costco bags of frozen plain veggies were simply too big to fit into my freezer, especially with all the other stuff I knew I'd have to freeze. I prefer fresh vegetables, of course, especially seasonal, but the only way I can consistently eat fresh is to go to the store more often than I want. Mostly they don't keep long, and if I'm only cooking from scratch two or three times a week, I can't buy more than two or three types of vegetables to be cooked. So I want to experiment with frozen, though of course just before summer might not be the best time to execute that plan. As a fully vaxxed person, I could go to the store more often, but it leads to a lot more impulse buying (see: apple strudel, above) and raises the overall food cost. 

OK, musing on a dull topic, I succeeded in making myself hungry. Time to go to the kitchen and scratch that itch.

Eating Well

Countertop lettuce

I am eating very well, food cooked at home. I have lowered my food cost, mostly by postponing trips to the grocery store (and, eating at home). I postpone shopping by managing my fresh food inventory much more efficiently, with constant notes to myself on what I have and what I need. I also have had a constant supply of lettuce from my countertop garden for a daily salad.

While the way I'm eating is relatively healthy, big on mostly fresh vegetables, it's also big on sauces, dairy, incorporates starches (mostly whole grain, or beans or potatoes) daily, and does not stint on meat. The meat is probably 70% chicken, 20% pork, and eggs, lamb, and seafood make up the rest. (I stopped buying beef for carbon footprint reasons.) Olive oil is my go-to fat ingredient. I keep lemons and limes, and fresh herbs, and have realized how those things can totally elevate a dish. Daily, I have some kind of sweet, candy or cookies, rarely ice cream. I only buy stuff I love, but I love a lot of sweets!

So, I'm not eating lightly, and really not eating "lite", but it's relatively healthy. Processed junk food is nearly non-existent in my diet. I shop the outside aisles at the grocery store.

Roasted brussels sprouts and a
lime squeeze elevate this lunch

I have confirmed to myself that I don't like daily cooking. I don't dislike cooking, no more than I detest vacuuming.  Both can be pleasant, and I like the results. Sometimes, I will plan cooking as entertainment, trying a new recipe or leading to a special favorite. But generally, just like other household chores, I'd rather spend my time doing other things. And, like vacuuming, the results are ephemeral, and then you just have to do it again.

I thought this long-standing feeling would change when I retired and have more time. But no, while I am eating food prepared at home much more than when I worked, I don't really want to spend more time in the kitchen. 

I'm cooking for one so much of the time, and I've learned a lot more about managing quantities to reduce waste. I buy smaller quantities (a single sweet potato) and I cook smaller quantities. When I get home from the grocery store, I write on the fridge what perishables I bought. I have learned leftovers are the best way to continue to eat home-cooked without actually having to cook. (In my vocabulary, re-heating is not cooking.) I've learned I can eat many dishes for up to three days before losing interest, and I'm focused on how long ago I cooked what is in the fridge. So now I'm pretty good at freezing individual portions of my leftovers, and I keep track of what is in the freezer.

Organized freezer

I had done some stocking up for the freezer when the pandemic shutdown was starting last year, and then I continued to stock the freezer as time went on. I finally emptied everything out of it, only needed to throw away a couple of things, and I put things back with a detailed inventory on the whiteboard on the freezer front. 

I also stocked the pantry, with beans, rice, pasta and broth. Also cans or boxes of soup - thinking that if I got sick, I could still heat those up. I discovered Mikes Mighty Good instant ramen, and bought a case of it for the pantry. I feel like I've got food to handle any kind of a shutdown for now.

I still buy prepared foods, mostly from Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. I have frozen boxed dinners (Saffron Road is a great brand) and "fresh" prepared foods such as turkey bean chili. Yes, I could make these things, but see above for how I feel about spending the time to do that. Right now, I've got the money to trade for commercial kitchen's time, and I'm good with that.

I'd like to lose weight. To do that, I need to focus on a couple of changes to the way I'm eating now, I think. The first is portion control, at every meal. I want to reduce food waste, but one of the many podcasts I listen to pointed out that eating more than you need at a specific meal, versus tossing the food out, have the exact same impact on your food budget. Eating more than you need at a meal does not generally reduce the amount you eat the next time. So it's "waste" either way. So when I do actually cook, and I almost always cook to have leftovers, I am trying to portion the whole dish out into decent portions at once, and freezing what I'm going to freeze. Then, whether it's a commercially prepared dish, or one I've done, I do not need to clean my plate by eating everything there. This last point is really hard for me. I can dish myself a reasonable amount of food, but the urge to eat everything on my plate is very strong.

The other thing I need to work on, and the subject for another day, is late night eating.

Right Sized Christmas

I know many many people are feeling sad and cut off this Christmas. The situation of our country and even the world sucks. But for me, this Christmas is feeling cozy and comforting. I have a small immediate family, almost no extended family, and not a big social circle. We all got tested Monday, and have been mostly quarantining before and since (except for necessary errands). So actually, while I'm missing some friends and feel keenly for those more isolated than me, this Christmas will be similar to the last couple of years and feels just right. Or very nearly so. It'll be fine.

Christmases of my childhood, youth, and younger adulthood were always with my small family. We moved quite a bit when I was a child, so socially we saw a bit of friends at the holidays, but mostly were turned to each other. From high school until 2006, my parents lived in the same house in the same tiny town, so rituals of Christmas Eve cookies at our friends' house, with always the same other families, followed by late night carol service at the church where my parents were pillars, were welcome additions to our family rituals. While we decorated and celebrated at our own places, my brother and sister and I almost always managed to be there in Bellport for at least Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. When my sister had kids, she and the whole family, sometimes including parts of her husbands large extended family, would come up as well (I think we peaked at 12 people one year). Even as the kids grew anxious about Santa being able to find them away from home, we went there until my mother sold the house and moved down near us. We had a couple of years to establish new rituals, Christmas Eve at my house and Christmas morning (finally!) at her house, with stockings hung by the chimney with care and a big pile of presents.

 

At age 58, I was suddenly and traumatically thrust into parenthood for my sister's three children, in close partnership with their father. For the first time in my life, I was responsible for feeding not just me, but a whole traumatized family every single day. That first Christmas we were all totally shell-shocked, and my recently married brother and sister-in-law came up with the brilliant idea to go to Topsail Beach in North Carolina for the holidays, along with her three adult children. The place was one of happy summer memories, and we were physically removed from where we had Christmas memories from the past. Still, I remember that time with the kids and their father following through what my sister-in-law and I put together by rote, willing to try but basically robots. 

My sister was the social party animal in the family, and I was bound and determined to live up to her standards with the kids. So for subsequent Chistmases, my brother-in-law bought a tree and got it to stand upright in the living room, and I was responsible for absolutely everything else. One year, every single present under the tree was bought and wrapped by me - I even wrapped something for myself. (It's true, my mother didn't get anything at all for the kids or me, though I used some of her money and put "from Grandma" on some tags). With intense jealousy between the kids, I did a spreadsheet of what I'd gotten each one, striving for balance. One year, on Christmas Eve the kids' father bought the youngest an expensive toy, destroying the balance and sparking complaints and subsequent fights when all the presents were opened. Oh well. He was so happy to do it, and it was meant with love. As the kids grew older, the two younger had dark depressive periods where they didn't lift a finger to help decorate, while the oldest physically and mentally separated himself from the others. Christmas was a chore, not a joy. But I kept it going.

I had had an epiphany one night, cursing under my breath as I sorted silverware in the drawer, putting salad forks into a separate slot from the larger dinner forks. Suddenly, I thought, "if they don't care, why should I bother? Does this even mattter?" With that realization, I let go of it, upended the silverware bin from the just finished dishwasher into the drawer all higgledy-piggedly,  and I walked away from it. This wasn't anger, but acceptance.  I didn't allow things to devolve into complete chaos, and nobody went hungry or got sick from the relaxed hygiene standards, (though one year what my girl wanted for Christmas was forks because they had all disappeared) but things were more relaxed. Instead of living up to some unachievable past ideal, we started to make our own way, together.

Still, for Christmas, I tried to keep things moving. It was such a challenge when I was working! I had to juggle holiday leave with my co-workers and subordinates. When the kids were in school, like all parents I prioritized the week between Christmas and New Year's as the time to be together, but I always took some time before hand to get things ready. I focused on food over decorating, but shopping required many separate trips. We have a tradition now of fancy dinner Christmas Eve at my house, present opening Christmas morning at the kids' (really their dad's) house, and after-nap second fancy dinner back at my house. Each of those meals has some elements that have to be present, others that can change. I recall one year, not that long ago, I had a large chart hand drawn on the whiteboard, with an elaborate project plan and countdown to the big day. For example, if I buy the Christmas roast early, I have to freeze it, and remember to take it out of the freezer and put in the fridge a couple of days ahead.

I had a huge internal celebration several years ago when my big boy took over making the traditional Norwegian Christmas bread my mother used to make. (I had the Julekage mantle for only one year.) This year, the kids have taken over Christmas day dinner, which will be at their dad's house, and we've added to our mix a live-in girlfriend. I'm quite relaxed about my continuing responsibilities for Christmas Eve and morning. It'll be fine. For the first time in some years, my girl and I made cookies. She helped me decorate my house, and is in charge and bossing her father at her house. It'll be fine. I got a new little tree, and so can use more of my ornaments than in recent years. It'll all be fine. Presents are bought. I made festive cloth bags a few years ago, so wrapping is way quicker and wastes way less paper than in previous years. And, it turns out, they all want gifts, but they really don't want much. They want to be together and enact some rituals. It'll be fine. It'll be more than fine.  I really like Christmas, and this song captures the feelings just right.

Peachy

One time on a road trip when the kids were smallish but not babies, my sister started a conversation with "If you could have only one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?"  She started with Mrs. Fields chocolate chip cookies. The kids followed her lead, with sweets. I went last, so I'd had time to think it through. I said "real Long Island church fundraiser strawberry shortcake with local strawberries, not-too-sweet volunteer-baked shortcakes (no store-bought sponge cake!) and oodles of whipped cream not from a can".* A chorus of protests claimed that was actually three foods, not one. My next offering was "a perfectly ripe peach".

It's peach season here! I made it to the farmer's market last week and bought two bags of peaches- one of white and one of yellow. At the market, we can't handle fruit and pick them out ourselves, they have to hand them to us. I couldn't wait to get home and have a real peach, but I was very sad to realize they were just a tad short of ripe. I left them out in a bowl, and sniffed them closely every few hours. A ripe peach smells peachy. A day and a half later, they started to be where where I needed them. As peaches remain perfectly ripe for approximately twelve hours each, I've been peaching out all week.

My mother used to make peach cobbler, but I reviewed recipes and didn't think they were what I was looking for. A few months ago, my friend and daily blogger Alice posted her very-low sugar apple cake. I've made it several times, feeling not too bad about eating it because it is so good and mostly fruit. As the wave of ripening peaches threatened to overwhelm my ability to eat them out of hand, I made a peach cake!

I'm not a bold baker, and this was one of my first adventures going off-script. The fact that Alice had already modified the recipe from its published form probably gave me the gumption to just try. It was fabulous!

Adaptations I made: peaches are both sweeter and juicier than apples. I cut the sugar even more, to just a single tablespoon! I cut back on the cinnamon and nutmeg amounts, because I think the peach flavor could carry itself better, wouldn't meld as well with the spices. The recipe called for a cup of flour, and I used a half cup of whole wheat and a half cup of all purpose, because that's what I usually do. I thought it was too wet, so I added another half cup of flour - but that one was almond flour. So it kept the carb content from flour low. But then, I was concerned about just the one tablespoon of white sugar, so I sprinkled a little bit of brown sugar over the top.

I baked the cake in a loaf pan for the recommended 45 minutes. I ended up having a third of it for dinner that night, still warm, with a little mascarpone and a few choppped pecans to give me more protein (since it was dinner)! Thick slices were refrigerated, and one slice a day carried me through the week, cutting back my chocolate.

I still had fresh peaches for breakfast. I find I like them with something savory, so I actually had a breakfast sausage and fresh peach breakfast one day.

Time to bake another peach cake! I have some crystalized ginger, and I may chop that up and add it to the mix.

*BTW, yes, there is a very specific time I had what may be the single best food dish I have ever eaten in my life (so far).

Food

My food intake (and thus my weight) have really gone the wrong way lately. I primarily blame the Whirligig, because it hasn’t entirely settled down and it keeps a constant low level of nausea just below the surface. Fewer trips to the grocery store and other isolation measures mean I’m thrown back on my own resources for putting together meals, which often requires me to cook.

I have white board material on the fridge
and keep a rough inventory as a reminder

I don’t hate cooking, I just don’t want to spend the time every day to do it. And while I have a few dishes I do well, I’m not a fabulous every day chef. I do continue to improve. I took an internet month-long class in it once, and that helped. I love reading cookbooks, but rarely do I actually use one to make a dish. Most likely when I have visitors, ie not now. More often, I use the cookbooks as inspiration, techniques and seasoning approaches. I’m in a kind of routine, and I often make big portions so I can just reheat quickly. I’m good eating the same thing for 2-3 days before I get sick of it, but I’m getting better at freezing extra portions right away, so it doesn’t get bad and I have quick food sitting in the freezer.

Way back in March, when were all preparing to hunker down, we didn’t know exactly what to prepare for. I assumed there was a good chance I’d get sick, and I’d be physically on my own during the illness because I wouldn’t just run to the hospital. So much of my early shopping was for quick and easy convenience foods for the cupboard and the freezer - shelf stable soups, frozen dinners, popcorn, granola, cereals, energy bars, apple sauce. Things I could either eat raw or pop in the microwave. This came in handy at the peak of the vertigo, once I was ready to try to keep food in me. At the outset, I also shopped for WTSHTF (prepper term, google it). Heavy on beans and brown rice and big shelf stable boxes of broth and tomatoes, which went down into the basement. I filled the freezer with bags of frozen veggies and fruit. I bought fresh veggies which were likely to keep a while, squash and cabbage and lemons and limes.

I started out well, keeping an eye on the inventory and usually cooking the next thing that might go bad. I was determined not to waste any food. I ended up using vegetables that in happier times I likely would have pitched right out. Tossed into rice and lentils cooked in the Instant Pot, and frozen into portions to provide quick, microwaveable food. I made two trips to the supermarket in April, and one so far this month, focused on fresh foods, but also replenishing any shelf stable things I used. That turns out to be about every two weeks. My girl (who goes more often to the grocery) has picked up a few extra items for me, and I got a smallish delivery from Costco, focused on big bags of coffee and some bulk organic meat for freezing. I’ve done takeout about every ten days, and I buy enough one time to last 2-3 meals. And at the height of my vertigo I ordered several pound of Gin-gins to be delivered.

But my evenings have been a continuous problem. And they wouldn’t be such a problem if I didn’t bring the treats into the house in the first place. When I buy chocolate or ice cream treats, I try to remember to ask myself, “What is my intention in buying this?” I have two themes playing out in my mind. My conscious mind is saying “No food has power over me.” Good thought. “No food is “bad”. Another good thought. “I can have just a tiny bit and stop”. NOT TRUE, at least this is not how things usually unfold. My conscious mind is an adorable optimist!

The other theme playing is simply a constant but mostly unconscious refrain, “Everything is awful so I’m going to give myself pleasure by eating this.”

When I got vertigo last month, that second theme just rose up and took over.

In my own defense, I had severe nausea, and my digestive system went wonky from top to bottom. I needed to eat what I rarely eat - white carbs in the form of white rice, pasta, toast. Microwaveable chicken soup. And, sadly, sugar also sat well. No fiber - no beans, no cabbage family, no crusty whole grains. I grazed gin-gins freely (they really work well for nausea, I use them on the boat), and squares of chocolate seemed to smooth things over.

While the nausea isn’t completely gone, my overall digestive system is much better. But I’ve got to get a handle back on my eating, aiming at the vegetables and whole grains and controlling my evenings. I have some ideas - stay tuned.

Home Refresh

The kitchen and office updates are (just about) done. There always seems to be this dragging 2% that takes forever - in this case, switch plate covers. But here are Before and After pictures!

Notice not just the drab counters but also the clutter!
The big flowers were from Ikea -
my girl and I brightened up a winter day long ago.

View from the other end- food stored on the counters.

I had started to store a lot of stuff out on the counters. After I cleared it out, I liked the uncluttered look and tried to keep it.

 I kept the cabinets, appliances, and floor. I changed the cabinet pulls, the countertop, the backsplash, and the wall color. I also had to do the sink, the faucet, and the disposal. Overall, it completely transforms the space!

The backsplash was where I put my energy, though the quartz countertop was the most money. I went to several places before finding the tiles I wanted. I had started with only vague ideas of what I was looking for, fueled by HGTV. I sharpened my focus on the internet, and found what appealed to me on pinterest.

This is as de-cluttered as it gets. A new fridge is in my future.
I also will get new dish towels.

At the tile shops, I found the ceramic tiles dull, and I knew I didn't want a busy pattern. Glass tiles added depth, and they change dramatically with the light. I finally found, on the internet, a local tile shop that seemed very promising. An opportunistic trip (it was a block from my dermatologist) led to the answer. I had brought a drawer front and a counter sample along, and agreed with the design rep on a predominate glass tile color salted with a complementary color in a random pattern. I drew out the pattern to scale on the computer one night, and I'm thrilled with the result.

My fresh veggies and cutting board will stay out.
The lower open shelves hold recycling staging and kitchen towels.

 The cabinet pulls are from Home Depot - I swear I looked at all 657 choices on-line. I informed my choices by looking at and touching the in-store stock, but on-line had a wider spectrum of choices. I ended up special order, but it was still just a couple of days.

My sink is really deep - I bought a sink with an added inch of depth, and then the mounting under the countertop adds more than another inch (which then required some jiggering to fit the disposal in). A small dog could go swimming in there. I can store my dish soap and sponges inside the sink to keep the countertop clear. The big, arched, faucet is all the style, but I find it splashes more than my old one.

As things went back in the kitchen, I scrubbed all the cabinet doors and insides. I got rid of a few things, but mostly I re-arranged. Items seldom used went to the basement (which may be staging for eventual disposal) and I moved things around so the most used item became more accessible. I treated myself to a visit to the Container Store and got some back-of-cabinet door racks to increase the amount of area easily accessible. And the huge Instant Pot, which I use pretty often, lives out of sight!

Just for fun, I moved the countertop appliances around. The microwave is where the toaster oven was, the toaster oven sits where the coffee pot was, and the coffee pot is by the kitchen door where I used to keep fresh veggies. My huge stash of dog treats and dog accessories has been either put away or put into nice canisters. Right now, I'm motivated to keep the place bare. I stroke the countertops and touch the backsplash, finger the substantial drawer pulls, and love being in there. We'll see how it evolves as I start really inhabiting it, cooking and just living there.

Before

The other project was the office. There, I had a formica countertop that wrapped around, and I wanted to get rid of the part that was designed to be a desk. I never use it, (now that I have laptop and don't spend hours working on documents or photos) and it just took up space.

During

I bought a standard-sized countertop from Ikea, which was (frustratingly) ONE inch too small to fit the existing layout of the lower cabinets. I knew this when I bought it - the contractors said "oh, it's easy to just slide the cabinet base over a couple of inches". Thus, the dominoes start to fall:  baseboards, flooring, what else is affected? We managed to contain the effort, and I love the additional space and light from the fresh color on the walls.

After. Still clutter to clear from the countertop

This room has a high shelf that wraps around - to pull in and make whole the space over the basement stairs. I had a small collection of birds picked up on my travels over the years. This was a tendency adopted from my mother, who had a large collection of birds. After the construction was done, I integrated the two collections and put them up on that shelf.

Like the kitchen, I also emptied out the cabinets and thought through what I needed to keep or toss, and how to organize it to make it accessible. (I spent a couple of hours in front of the TV trying all the ballpoint pens that were in a big box.) I've got the paper and file folders all squared away, but I have a lot of electronic bits, cords, and gadgets still to deal with. Many of them are in two other closets (and even the basement) and I'll need a long day or two to consolidate and sort out.

I also had the living room ceiling painted - it had been damaged years ago by a leak - I got a new roof, eventually new drywall, but the paint waited until now. So to close, pictures of the disruption during the work.

Report Card

I made myself a report card. To some extent, the report card simply reflects what I can measure, not what is most important to me. But, because I can't control every outcome in my life, the report card also reflects what I am focusing on in the process. I can control what I do, and how that turns into important stuff is related, but outside my control.

The way to read this table is to not actually look at the specific numbers. I deliberately shrank the column size to obscure some numbers, and to make sure all twelve months will fit on a row. But I'm using the darkness of the color to reflect relative goodness. In some cases, a bigger number is better (eg, number of calories expended each day). In other cases, a smaller number is better (eg, expenditures). But I set the tones so darker is better in all things. The darker the column, the better the month was.

So first, fitness activities.  Calories and steps are from the fitbit. Averages can obscure extremes, so I also pull out active days (calories for the day were more than 2,000) and sedentary days (steps were less than 5,000 for the day). I use the Garmin for biking, walking, and running (only deliberate walks, not incidental steps during the day are counted). So as expected, August was pretty good in all measures. The surprise to me was May - as I recall, I started cutting back at work pretty heavily towards the end, and tried to get a jump start on fitness (and gardening projects). July suffered from the heat, but also possible from trying to do too much too soon in June, because I had some migraines and other bad days there.

	Jan	Feb	Mar	Apr	May	Jun	Jul	Aug
Avg Calories Exp	####	####	####	####	####	####	####	####
Days >2,000 cal	6	7	7	10	16	14	12	13
Avg Daily Steps	####	####	####	####	####	####	####	####
Days <5 steps="" td="">	5	4	5	3	1	2	4	3
Miles Biked	-	-	-	-	-	-	5	9
Miles Walked	26	16	8	17	15	38	28	48
Miles Run	-	-	6	3	5	11	6	1

 The next group is about my weight. I can't control my weight, only what I eat. One of the proven techniques for weight loss is to track, so I'm reporting how many days I tracked. Lack of tracking in many ways reflects lack of effort or focus on weight loss. It's clear my weight has gone up since the first of the year. Not my main focus, but big sigh anyway. Besides tracking, I vowed to enjoy more, and waste less. I don't have a report on that, but I'm feeling like I'm getting there on both fronts.
  

	Jan	Feb	Mar	Apr	May	Jun	Jul	Aug
End Weight (week)	####	####	####	####	####	####	####	####
Days Food Tracked	0	10	0	0	0	0	0	16

 The next set of measures is meditation. This is measured because I use a meditation app, for guided meditations and as a timer. More meditation is an aspiration, and the coloring reflects that. The truth is, however, that January was so heavy on meditation because I was still in a great deal of pain from my knee surgery, and because I was upset a lot during the government shutdown. Meditation is a coping mechanism, so more might mean other things are off track. Also, recently, I'm feeling that I'm more mindful in transient ways throughout the day. Pausing to breathe a few times, feel my feet grounded, check in with my body. A good thing, and not captured anywhere but in my head.

	Jan	Feb	Mar	Apr	May	Jun	Jul	Aug
# Min Meditate	439	235	178	81	143	295	215	333
# Times Meditate	42	22	20	11	15	23	21	29

I'm tracking my money, in total, and by categories. I'm showing food expenditures (as a proxy for reduced waste and more cooking at home) and money spent on gas, as a proxy for miles driven. Less is more! Fewer dollars are a darker, good, color.  June food reflects house guests, including liquor purchases. How nice to see the reduced driving reflected in the lower fuel bills. I only bought gas once during each of July and August. Total spending is fluctuating, as I figure out the periodic bills like taxes and insurance, formerly paid either through a mortgage payment or deducted from my paycheck.

	Jan	Feb	Mar	Apr	May	Jun	Jul	Aug
Total Spend	####	####	####	####	####	####	####	####
Food Spend	####	####	####	####	####	####	####	####
Gas Spend	$72	$59	####	$87	$83	$84	$29	$26

Lastly are some miscellaneous things I can count, that maybe reflect some larger picture about my state of mind and energy. I track my books through Goodreader. Blog posts are obvious. "Trips downtown" show engagement with my peeps from work, and engagement on the culture front (museums, performances, etc.). And, being at the boat, as was explained recently, is my happy place.

	Jan	Feb	Mar	Apr	May	Jun	Jul	Aug
# Books Read	8	7	4	1	0	12	11	9
# Blog Posts	6	8	7	6	3	6	8	7
# Trips downtown	--	--	--	--	--	1	5	2
# Days Boat	--	--	--	1	2	3	2	7

 So there you have my overview. If you step back and squint, more and darker green is a good thing, and in general, things are looking up!