Back on Course with my Eating

Things are settling down now - as much as they ever will in the real world.  I had an ok week with food, not great, but definitely ok. According to my magic calories used and calories consumed devices, I definitely ate less than expended each day. Nan's Miracle Diet requires detailed logging of the data, and a periodic analysis of what actually happened, not just my impressions.

My work lunches were fine. I had cottage cheese, cheese, or nothing for breakfast everyday. (About 120 calories.) I was able to either buy my favorite salad (Cosi Bombay Chicken, 480 calories with no bread), or take leftovers to eat. The bought salad comes with the bonus of the restaurant is three-quarters of a mile away, so I get a walk in as well. Leftovers generally are fewer calories, especially if I round out a small piece of meat with full-to-overflowing frozen broccoli or green beans. On the other hand, I nuke right in my office area, eat at my desk, and don't get a lot of movement in. Generally I'm heading into dinner with 500-700 calories consumed.

Dinner is the problem. And portion control at dinner is the very specific problem. I'm hungry when I get home, and want dinner quickly. Cooking for the family, the focus is on meat and starch - not a lot of demand for vegetables in the crowd.  On the cruise, I was eating rich food, but every meal was served plated with automatic portion control.

Here are a couple of strategies I'll try out:

• Bring a veggie snack to work for the 4 pm doldrums- carrots or celery sticks.
• Bring a flavored water to work each day for the same thing.
• Also have the munchable veggies - or a piece of fruit - right at hand while making dinner.
• Make an easy vegetable and put it on the table with the other food.
• Consider not eating the same thing as the rest of the family - instead, a frozen dinner is generally under 400 calories. (I love the Indian entrees from the Ethnic Gourmet.)

Multiple strategies to attack the same issue - we'll see which ones work. A strategy I've considered and rejected is plating the food in the kitchen rather than putting the food on the table. The kids are used to determining their own portions and I don't think I want to change that. Because its spring break, dinner for the kids is likely to be much more ad hoc and so I am likely to resort to my frozen entrees. I clearly need a trip to the store today to get set up for the week. I think I'll be cooking enough tonight to ensure leftovers for lunch for the first couple of days at least.

The Ultimate Luxury: Personal Training

There is absolutely no way to get a workout as good as one with a personal trainer. 

Several years ago, I had back problems, and started physical therapy. They did weird things to me with electrical devices and traction devices, but they also taught me some exercises and worked me through them.  It was all about the "core" muscles, stomach and back, and it gave me balance and flexibility and seemed to hold the back problems at bay. When the physical therapy prescription ran out, I moved to working with a personal trainer at the same facility.  She used Pilates techniques, big balls to move around on, multiple muscle groups working at once. Again, the core group was the main focus. After a few months she moved on to a new career, and I found a commercial "studio" very close to my house, just blindly from a newspaper ad.

There was a huge sticker shock associated with this new place. I rationalized it because I had signed up for a vigorous sail training vacation in a few months, and I knew I'd have a much better time if I was in better shape - stronger and more flexible. After the vacation, I kept on going because I could see the results. I was not focused on weight loss, only on fitness. I found myself able to do things I maybe had never been able to do. I read that push-ups can give a quick read of overall condition, and I was able to do a bunch of them.  Sit-ups and crunches? Fun and easy!

I was still fat and didn't have the aerobic stamina I wanted, but I was pleased with my body and ready to start focusing on diet and more vigorous exercise. Then tragedy struck, and taking care of my body was very low on my priority list.

I went back to my commercial studio (FitnessTogetherSilverSpring) this week. I just finished another visit, and am tired, will be a little sore, but am really really happy.  What happens at this gym is I work one-on-one with a trainer in a mostly private room for 45 minutes a pop. I use the aerobic machines before and after.  The workout is focused on multiple muscle groups, and tailored to my goals and abilities. I told them I want "strength, flexibility, upper body strength, and better balance, all so I can get out there and do stuff". I have liked every trainer I have worked with there. Part of what keeps me going is the friendly and personable folks that are urging me on to do much more than I would do by myself.

There are two big hurdles to doing this type of training: time and money. The only "found" time I have is in the morning, so Tuesday and Thursday I am at the gym before 6 a.m.!  (Twice, so far). It's three minutes drive from my house, so an alarm at 5:25 allows me a few minutes of stumbling around sucking coffee while getting dressed before climbing behind the wheel. I come back home again to get dressed for work, and end up there a little bit earlier, more alert, and much hungrier than in my normal morning routine. Saturday mornings round it out - I may drop this third visit if it interferes with more interesting weekend options.

The money?  Huge piles of money. No way to describe it otherwise. I had been toying with the idea of buying myself a big truck (or at least something bigger than my Honda Fit which is a very wide field) but this is more important. That's the kind of money we're talking about - a trade-off with a truck!

I've got lots more to say, but right now I have to go out there and do stuff.

Home - and Seeking a Routine

I'm starting today with completely inadequate sleep, no suitable breakfast or lunch food in the house, and insufficient time to get any exercise in today. Welcome back to the daily grind!

Last night was filled with stress with and about the kids... which led to completely unnecessary eating. Not unconscious - instead completely deliberate. "I feel horrible and this is lying here and tastes SO good...."

I have to develop a plan for today (my several plan B options might click in) and tonight I'll develop a longer view for getting a routine and some balance back. What's my specific plan for today? I think I have some breakfast cheese at work. I will walk across the mall to get a salad for lunch - both some exercise and completely within the calorie budget for eating. There is quick but good food in the freezer for dinner tonight.  After that, a trip to the grocery to do breakfast and lunches for the next few days.

See, it's not a crisis. Get right back on that horse and get going!

Stats From the Trip

I'm home now... but in that weird travelling hangover where I'm still in my "away" frame of mind, not yet overwhelmed by the minutia of daily living, and not wanting to let go of the trip yet. I wore my arm-band activity-monitoring device (the "bugg") all week, and I just took a minute to compare my stats from this week on the cruise to the week before. Probably a better comparison would be to two weeks before, since I was terribly sick just before leaving. I was pretty darn active the whole week on the cruise, though I was more focused on and wrote about the food during the trip.

So let's see... on average, I burned 150 more calories a day on the trip than at home. This is good, even if I ate a lot more than 150+ calories a day. I was physically "active" for more than 90 minutes every day, including some bouts of intensely active - those were all very fast walks on the deck. I did go kayaking twice, but they were not exactly huge exercise events - lots of paddling then drifting. (Very very pleasant, however.) The big exercise triumph is in the number of steps per day on the ship - I averaged nearly 11,000 per day, versus only 6,000 during a work week (which generally includes a weekend long walk). Those good old turns around the deck really added up!  I'll miss the sea air and the recorded books for escapist entertainment. Let me dwell for a moment on the pleasure of it, and contemplate how to work more of it into my ordinary mundane routine.

Oddly, I didn't sleep too much on the cruise. I averaged more than half an hour less sleep each day, and it would have been much less if it weren't for the two afternoon naps I managed. I enjoyed the evening entertainment, and was not able to enjoy sleeping in. My mother stayed up much later than me every night, grooving along to the late night dance shows. I was anxious to get up and face the day each morning. I will miss having someone make me bacon and eggs every day from here on out.

What Will Tomorrow Bring?

Travelling today... hard to manage the cuisine. But tomorrow is back to "real life" - what will the scale hold for me first thing?  (No point in weighing myself in the evening.)

Tomorrow also I'm going back to the gym for personal training. It'll be interesting to see how well I can handle getting up at the crack of dawn... but strong and flexible, here I come.

Walking

I totally love walking. I always have, but my actual walking has waxed and waned over the years.

I walked a lot with my dog Rosie. She was a good dog for a walk – just kept my pace and sniffed stuff along the way. Until her old age, she was happy to go anywhere any time. While getting in shape for a backpacking trip in Alaska, we did a minimum of two miles every night, in addition to having my bike up on a trainer. Some very long walks when we lived in Evanston stick out in my mind as some of the best times I had while living there.

But then she got old. She was old when I moved out to Maryland, and she grew quite decrepit. Her last summer, she could only totter short distances. I made the mistake of trying to go farther with her one day, and ended up carrying her back.

I switched to bike riding. It seemed wrong to go for a walk without the dog, but she couldn't go far, so the bike became my outdoor joy. Then Rosie died, and six months later I got a new dog.

At first, walking with Abbey was a pleasure. But then one day, she barked and went aggressively towards a jogger coming up behind us. We went to obedience school, but it wasn't enough. She grew worse about bicycles and joggers and other dogs, so now walking with her is not relaxing. After a lot of time with a personal trainer, I now can walk safely with her, but it requires constant vigilance to my surroundings so no one can sneak up on us.

When I signed up for the Avon two-day breast cancer walk, it was more for the exercise and the adventure and the shared experience than any big commitment to the cause. I knew I would need to train for it, and I devoted my weekends and some evenings to walks for four months. I found a place out near my boat where I could do an eight-mile circuit through woods and along the Chesapeake Bay shore. I got a book of walks in the DC area, and followed several trails and paths around the very scenic DC historical and natural landscape. During most of these walks, the dog stayed at home and I donned the ipod and listened to a series of books. To this day, I can associate certain passages in certain books with where I was at the time. Sometimes late at night or in the middle of pouring rainstorms I would bring the eager dog along. She is terrific in matching my pace and staying with me, as long as we are the only moving mammals in the area.

With all the training I did for the Avon walk, I did not feel like I got into very good physical condition as a result. I was able to complete very long brisk walks, but training by walking pretty much seemed to train me only for walking. And it took SO much time--! I would have to devote two, three, four, even six hours to a long walk. I also always treated myself to a good meal after a very long walk. It was good entertainment in and of itself, but it didn't leave much time or energy for other activities. So when I finished the Avon event, I stopped doing too much walking. It did leave me with a permanent change in my approach to transportation, however. Dropping my car at a garage a mile from the house, shopping at the farmer's market a mile and a half away, those things became easily handled on foot. My office is eight miles from home, and while it is not a scenic walk, shank's mare is definitely my emergency evacuation plan.

Now, I'm enjoying walking again. Here on the cruise, making the circuit is fun. And there have been good walks along the shore. I can feel the thighs firming up. However, I'm not likely to continue to walk so much once I'm home – too much time is required.

Progress Report From the Ship

I deny myself nothing. That is, if I really want it. That is my approach, and it is having mixed results. The secret seems to be remaining conscious of the food and drink at all times.

I've been logging food, retrospectively. I try to be generous with the estimated portions, though it makes me wince sometimes when I look at what I've done. I've remained under 3000 calories a day, (mostly around 2400) and mostly feeling very indulged. After all, french fries, a beer, a hot fudge sundae, and an eclair (all in the same day) are going to add up. The secret is portion control- a taste of the sundae, counting the fries, a bite of the eclair.

Part of why I'm doing this is because I want this to be the rest of my life. I am not going to just relax and go with it here, so easily slipping into 4000 calorie days. Every day here and at home and wherever I am counts. The body will process inputs without regard to global coordinates or work versus vacation status. This is not preventing me from enjoying myself. On the contrary, I deny myself nothing, feel indulged, and do not have guilt or regrets.

I'm enjoying the walking on deck quite a bit. I finished one book and started another. This morning for the first time it was really too hot to do much for long, but I still estimate a half hour at a moderate pace. I've taught the phrase and the concept of "post-prandial perambulation" to my young companion. There is only trivial other exercise aboard ship. I was hopeful just moving about and taking the stairs would make a difference, but not so much according to the bugg on my arm. Kayaking also is not so much says the bugg. But the fresh air is great and helps me sleep.

I do miss the buzz, though. All previous cruises involved a lot more alcohol. Not only do the the drinks carry calories, but they also have a tendency to lead to more desserts. So I've cut way back - less than one drink a day (trading off for more french fries or dessert). But I've always enjoyed my one or two or three drinks, and I miss it.

- iPhone uPdate

Focus, Focus

I started this morning 15 pounds below where I was the day after Christmas.  (This includes a slight acceleration from being sick.)

Too easy to lose focus when traveling. Just do the easy thing. Especially when salads are unappealing. But I can't go unconscious. Eternal vigilance! And a little bit of planning. I think the planning will be a bit easier once on board.

Dieting Through Stress

Quote of the day, from Kim Bensen's blog (and lifted from her book):

"Many of you are faced with difficult, challenging, stress-filled circumstances and may be afraid that because of them it isn’t the right time for you to work on the weight you want to lose. Well, it may not be. BUT you may find an inner happiness you didn’t expect to find that comes from knowing that you’re doing something for yourself that you want and need to do. You know that feeling, when you lay your head on your pillow at night with a smile because you “did it” one more day."

 You can read the full post here:  Kim Bensen Stress

Something to keep in mind.

New Resolve

If it's not one thing, it's another.  Things to throw me off track, that is. But right now, I'm on the eve of a cruise, halfway packed and feeling much better, thank you. I made some vows a little bit back about what I could expect of myself on the cruise - time to look at them and see if they are still realistic.

I'm nearly all better from my bout with the epizootus.  But the recoil response is still there for certain foods. I've been listening to my body and it's been saying something different than it usually does. I've had no desire for anything with fat in it, for example. No butter, no margarine, no olive oil. And lettuce actually makes me recoil. Bland carbs and lean meat have been my desire. And small portions. I had chicken noodle soup from a dry envelope for breakfast and it really hit the spot - the right mix of salt and carbs with a hint of protein and not an gram of fat in sight. (Big contrast to ramen.) Luckily, no recoil from dark chocolate.  I need to plan a light breakfast and early lunch to keep us going till after we get to our hotel tomorrow - a cooked chicken might be just right for lunch.  I stopped tracking every calorie because I was eating so little - but I'll go back and re-create today and keep it going from here.

I stopped by the gym today (they call it a "studio") and signed up for renewed personal training as soon as I get back. I really liked the people there and enjoyed being there, besides enjoying how my body got stronger and more flexible as a result.  I'm going for sessions at 6 am - how about that!  While I am perennially sleep deprived, I'm hoping up and out in the morning will result in better sleep when I go to bed (I do not hope for earlier bed times - not going to happen any time soon). The gym is just 5 minutes from my house, so I figure to roll out of bed and right over there, and come back for coffee and shower at home before heading into work.

My hopes for the cruise itself?  Track my food. Know what I'm eating - don't be unconscious. Walk walk walk (I bought more audio books tonight). Don't get sunburned, but get a rosy glow. Sleep when I'm tired. And really enjoy the time with Clara and Mom. 

SICK

There's nothing quite like a good old fashioned stomach bug to push the needle down on the scale.  Once again proving that when the going gets tough, Nan gets sick, I had a brutal twenty-four hours.  But when I climbed on the scale, there it was: five pounds down!  Yes, I know its all water but there is still a psychic kick.

Several years ago, I got a parasite from eating South American raspberries (me and clusters of people in a few key cities at the same time, according the New York Times) and I lost eight pounds overnight and ended up in the hospital with several bags of IVs running in me. That particular bug came and went, every three weeks, lasting a few days each time, for the next several months, decreasing in severity till it went away. The cumulative impact was about fifteen pounds of actual weight loss without trying at all. It was the stomach pain that kept me from eating, as well as an inability to actually absorb any food before it passed through me. On my second trip to Zaire, HS was laughing at how much I ate but I had a secret - nothing stuck with me for more than a few minutes.

This time, I don't know if it was something I ate or a bug going around. No-one else in the family has had it (yet). I ate separately from them for the twenty-four hours preceding the collapse. One thing I've read that rings true: we have a deep aversion response to whatever we eat just before getting sick. Clearly protective in nature, it kicks in even if there is no real connection between what you ate and what made you sick. Sadly, I ate a fancy prepackaged salad and a frozen spinach curry just before being stricken - I won't be going near those for a while.

Now the stomach is smaller and things still hurt a bit. Today I had a grand total of about 600 calories of bland food, and kind of think I'd be more comfortable if it had been even less. My ordinary food groups and choices go by the wayside - whatever I think I can handle is allowed till I'm better.

Stress is Building Up

Press Conference tomorrow morning - is that any excuse for the sweets I ate today? I ate off-plan today, and too spontaneously, but I need to try to log it to add up the sorry total. It's important to know the real scale of my transgressions - I think because of the high vegetable content, it may be less than I am fearing.  I am regretting the second set of chocolate pieces I had.

Food of the day:  asparagus.  Not yet local, but at least from this side of the equator. Snapped all the spears in the middle, boiled them briefly, quickly doused in cold water to preserve the brilliant green color, then marinated for a couple of hours in balsamic vinegar and served at room temperature. I went to town on them, and it could have been worse.

Embarkation

I walked onto the ship, sat down and ordered a pina colada. It might have just as well been a hot fudge sundae (something which is also always on the menu here). It just seemed like the thing to do. I was wanting the buzz as much as I wanted the tropic taste.

Overall, however, the day didn't go badly. Good late breakfast. Good early dinner. Ignored the bread basket. Ate about a third of my less than perfect dessert. And took a nice walk around the decks.

Lots of stairs on this little ship. Elevators behave badly, plus so many old people needing them. I need to distinguish myself from them.

Love love love the music here.

Things I'm not buying to afford personal training

Thought I should keep a running tally...

New swimsuit with matching board shorts and rash guard for cruise/kayaking. $125. (maybe I could go down a size after working out).

New dress for cruise. $100. (afterall, I haven't worn a dress at all since about September, but there are several in the closet.)

Since I get hundreds of catalogues in the mail every day, there are surely more things to come. Doesn't make a real dent in PT costs, but maybe the little things will start to add up.


- iPhone uPdate

Planning and Goals

One week or so of routine, back to some discipline, and some success to show for it... But the next two weeks will be unusual in every way. I have to think this through, because if every unusual event gives me permission to be undisciplined, I'll never get anywhere.

Stress coming up. I'll be on-stage Tuesday morning in front of 700 or so of my closest friends, delivering an hour long talk. Monday is the press briefing. NPR and the Wall Street Journal are likely to carry stories - about the topic, though probably not a quote. Wednesday is stressful for personal reasons, coordinating with friends who are doing a memorial to my sister in the park. Then it's get work whipped into shape (things are popping unexpectedly in several areas) so I can get onto the cruise!

The cruise itself will be a huge challenge.  Travel to and from will require opportunistic eating, and then I'll be surrounded by food everywhere I turn. Not to mention waiters offering drinks with umbrellas in them constantly. We're going to the land of rum, my favorite!

I need to remember I can't control the scale, but I can control my behavior.  Let's think this through, do some planning and prep, and set some boundaries for the behavior.

Next week, I need to have cottage cheese for breakfast and carry a salad for lunch every day but Tuesday, where there's the big ceremonial lunch. So Trader Joe's for salads tomorrow. The big lunch will be chicken, of course, and I can skip the starch. Dessert will be chocolate, and I can cut a line through it before I start on it. The reception that night I can have white wine and shrimp cocktail and do very well with it. If I skip the wine, I can have another choice for eating. (At least I've been through it before, I know what to expect.)

Saturday is travelling; I need to scope out more details on the hotel and restaurant options. Something easy and less expensive will be our approach. We'll be boarding on Sunday, and can lunch on the shipboard options.

My goals for the ship? Be conscious at all times. Do not just go on vacation from the diet. I love the promenade deck - plan on at least two miles a day in circles around the ship. Make sure I've got some fun books loaded up for listening while I walk. Food? I love the breakfast after the early morning walks. Sadly, the salad options for lunch are limited, but I need to focus on vegetables. and portion control. Dinner in the dining room will be just fine - pick what I want, clean the plate if I like it, but be circumspect on dessert. And drinking? I should probably choose each day between one drink and dessert. I'd be pleased with myself if I stuck to it - at least I'm not traveling with other drinkers. And I'm not such a fan of wine with dinner - I'd rather have a happy hour or after dinner with the show drink.

At least there will be multiple entertainment options that don't require drinking.  I truly love club soda with lime, and I'll allow myself to pay outrageous prices to indulge in that rather than feel totally deprived. Last time I checked, a pina colada was right up there with a hot fudge sundae for sugar and calories, but its my favorite drink in the world. I need to think about other rum cocktails that may be made less sweet than that.

I will report honestly success or failure at keeping to these plans. In the meantime, I've got a weekend to get through, with exercise opportunities on hand, and the best weather this calendar year. Time to address the day! 

Diet and Exercise in the News

The New York Times comes through with articles right on point.

Tara Parker-Pope

First, Tara Parker-Pope breaks the news to us:  the little cuts do not add up after all.  There is little point in worrying about just one less cookie, because the body will conserve energy and strive for homeostasis.  However, one more cookie will definitely add pounds.  In other words, it's totally not fair. Cutting out 100 calories a day will not make you lose weight, because the body adjusts its basal metabolism to spend fewer calories. Adding 100 calories a day is more likely to make a difference, however; the body is more likely to gain weight than lose it (like this is a surprise?)


Jane Brody


On a more positive note, Jane Brody reiterates several studies supporting the value of all forms of exercise at all ages - and at all weights.  "Regular exercise is the only well-established fountain of youth, and it’s free." It helps your body and it helps your mind and memory. Who wouldn't want to do it?  And then she laments how few people actually take advantage of it.  So just one more bit of motivating news, to help counter the way the deck is stacked against us in losing weight.

NOT Exercising

I'm ok on my eating, at least for the past few days. But I'm not at all doing the level of exercise I need.  Remember, between thin and fit, I would always choose fit. But that's when I'm sitting on the couch contemplating the choice. But I'm not coming through when the choice needs to be made, to just do it.

When the alarm goes off in the morning, I doze rather than hop on to the NordicTrak. By the time I feel up to the exercise, I've run out of time and need to head to work.  I've been to the gym a few times at work, but as soon as anything comes up in the office, I give up my time at the gym. It's always the last priority. I am walking some, and really loving it, but it takes a really long time to get enough exercise from walking to be really worthwhile. So much time, I only can find it on weekends. I am working smaller bits of walking into the day (park far away, take the stairs, etc.) but I'm not sure how really worth it all the little stuff is.

I want strength and flexibility. That can only come from a concentrated and disciplined program.  I worked with a personal trainer for about a year and learned how far I really can go. I got up to being able to do TEN pushups - that's 10 BOY pushups, mind you, not the wimpy girl "knee" pushups. I could bend and twist and lift and pull.  And I weighed only a little less than I weigh now, but I really liked the way I felt.

I want that again. I want it badly. But I don't seem to be able to do it on my own. It's the lack of prioritization that does it to me.

The way I was able to do it before was through personal training. I worked with a studio near my house, where I did one-on-one training in a private room with one of several trainers that worked there. I liked the trainers, it was fairly convenient, and I had a financial penalty for being a no-show. It is extraordinarily expensive. It is really really worth it.  If I really want this, I will find the money. This is worth dipping into savings for. It's that important.

The only "found" time I've got is early in the morning. I'm thinking two weekday mornings, and Saturdays.  I know I already do not sleep enough, but I'm hoping this will help me sleep, even if at first it comes at the expense of sleep. The next two and a half weeks are not possible, but as soon as I come back from the cruise I'd like to start up.  Perhaps I'll even call or stop by before then, to get on the schedule.  Right after I break into my piggy bank funds.