Run Away

Forty-eight hour business trip to the beach near Charleston, SC. Damnedest thing--men in ties and jackets, women in heels, in a building 200 yards from the ocean. Except me, of course. No heels for me, and at my age and stage of career, my work clothes are comfortable.

Got lots of beach miles, walking and early morning running. Didn't bring a bathing suit. Nervous enough seeing work people in compression spandex. No way they get to see bare skin. I thought of my friend Alice, and her similar trip to nearby Savannah. 

Had time on Sunday to walk 22,000 steps through Old Charleston. I swear, if I was 20 years old and just starting out, I'd totally move to Charleston. All the tourism folks talking to us emphasized the food scene there, as much as the 10,000 new good jobs building Boeing airliners.  But this is the old South. I am unable to tell if the rest of my family would be as welcome here as I felt. 

Away from family responsibilities. No crisis while gone, but fretting over being out of touch as we live on a knife edge always. Home tonight, and all well. Positive movements. 

I love that my ideal time away includes running and walking. I was able to eat well without blowing it, but back to strict induction tomorrow for 3 weeks to try to blast through this plateau. 

Mostly Wordless Update

My weight has stabilized at a new, lower weight. In my mind I'm still trying to lose weight, but the data tells me my actions are otherwise.  (I track in My Fitness Pal, which gives me calories and macronutrients.  I've been very consistent in the tracking since January.)

I'm off tomorrow for a quick business trip where I'll have little control over my food. When I get back, I'd like to do another 3 weeks of strict strict induction Atkins, and see where that takes me.  But I'm liking where I am.

Eyeball says about 6 pounds down.

Calories do matter

I strive for around 25 net carbs. Induction is under 20.

Macro-nutrients from bottom: Net Carbs, Fiber, Fat, Protein

Focused on exercise

I prioritize my exercise pretty high. Maybe even too high, letting some other responsibilities slide. But the exercise is paying off. I have mostly stopped meditating, but the exercise is major relief. I go to the gym twice a week where I meet my trainer. I try to run three times a week but it's really only twice most weeks. But I walk, as the weather is nicer. I've up my goals on the Fitbit, and am often in a friendly competition with real life and virtual friends. Walking is my religion, it settles me down and also settles down my voracious dog.

I like the way I look, for the most part, as a result of the diet and exercise. A week ago my boy took a picture of me before our 5K, and it's one of the few of me I truly like.  Not just (by a trick of the camera and maximum compression fabric) looking slimmer than I am, but self assured, strong and happy.

Today another great thing happened.  I was early at the big gym, and my trainer set up a seven-station circuit for me.  Box jumps, kettle bell squats, rows and side planks and medicine ball tosses...  Really hard work with timed periods and short rests. I was catching my breath after the second time through, and one of the few other folks in at that time, a twenty-something buff guy who had been working the weights, came over and said "I just want to let you know you are awesome! I don't know if I could power through the circuit the way you are."

How about that!

But maybe I shouldn't have celebrated tonight with quite so much chocolate...

Me and Social Media

I've been spending a lot of time with social media lately.  I think it's getting to be a problem, but it also brings benefits. 

I was actually an early adopter of what is now called social media. My involvement stretches back to the 1980s, immediately pre Internet.  My employer, a major airline, sponsored access to Compuserve, in order to facilitate communication with its mobile workforce of pilots and flight attendants.  Through that dial up at home access, I participated in Compuserve Forums, text based discussion groups formed and organized by users to facilitate enthusiasts talking. There I formed my first online persona. I almost entirely "lurked" (read without posting) but I was quite attached to the group discussion and for a while didn't go a day without signing on. It happened there was a real life gathering of my group I could attend. I opted to lurk in real life too, showing up but lingering at the fringes of the group, trying to link faces with the folks I thought I had gotten to know.  It's worthy of note that none of those people had any connection to my "real" life, neither personal life nor work life.

There is a big discussion going on about the role of social media in social life.  Some folks consider digital life as separate from physical life, and feel they can behave in ways they never would in real life, both for good and for bad.  I never felt that free, but I think it's because I have had decades of trying to preserve a firewall between my work life and my home life.  My first job out of grad school catapulted me to a strange society where I loved my job and had essentially nothing in common with anyone at work. I'd be invited to parties, and spend time with the guys talking about work. But when they switched to sports, I'd join the wives, who were discussing children and laundry techniques.  It's what was important in their lives, but not in mine. We didn't share values or world views, so I learned not to share what I thought with anyone at work, on non work topics. The first thing I did when I got home home from work was change my clothes, symbolically rejoining my real self. When I first went online, the Compuserve forum I mostly frequented had several of my colleagues, and that motivated me to stay silent. But I was drawn into the voyerism of glimpses of others' lives and opinions. As the Internet grew, so did my fascination with hearing others opinions on things that interest me.

Flash forward to today and Facebook. I have many facebook friends, but not one of them is a work colleague.  I've recently started participating much more in facebook groups-clearly a successor to Compuserve Forums. I have wide interests, and have joined several groups.  The volume of posts exceeds those of my actual friends, and the Facebook algorithms mean those whose posts I click through to read comments, and especially if I comment on them myself, jump to the top of the feed and I have to go searching for my actual friends (Facebook of course also decides which are my closest friends by my actions).  This means if I'm interested, I have to at least "like" stuff, and it's even better to speak up. And I do.

I found a facebook group some time ago formed around my first fitness tracking device. As fitness devices have proliferated, the group has expanded its focus and its membership.  It clearly has my soulmates, folks with a similar engagement with technology as a motivation for fitness.  Through this group, I have broader engagement with people on the social platforms created by the two biggest tracker families-Fitbit and Jawbone-than I would have if I relied solely on my less tech friendly real life friends for connection. (Jawbone I have one real life friend, Fitbit three, but lots of my Facebook group friends share their info with me, a stranger, and I with them.). We trade tips about how to use our devices, we share articles and links on exercise and devices, and we cheer each other on in activity.  

I've written about how Atkins diet has a stigma. I've discovered the flip side- there are Atkins adherents with a religious fervor.  I got booted out of an Atkins Facebook group by the mean-girl admin because I dared to suggest the late doctor didn't have the entire revealed wisdom on how to eat.  There are sects, too.  The successor to the Atkins franchise has kept the major outlines, but emphasizes cooking from scratch and eating vegetables much more than the late doctor.  Many folks only want to read and follow the prescription by the doctor himself, not the subsequent heretical interpretations and amendments. I think of them as the fundamentalists, whereas I'm more Mennonite- thoughtfully deciding what I'll accept or reject from mainstream thinking. Some days, you can hardly tell by looking at my plate that I'm an Atkins adherent-I blend right in.

But I am fascinated by the discussions and the glimpses into people's lives. Someone posted about losing 16 pounds in two weeks, and he only needed to lose 2 more to be under FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS.  I read it several times, and that's what he said.  Last night, he went to the hospital because he was weak, and posts continued as we found out he needed to reduce his blood pressure medication because the diet had helped so much already.  Another woman was shunned by her in- laws and banned from Easter dinner because she asked if she could bring a dish to because the menu wouldn't have allowed her to eat anything while staying on the diet. (Casseroles, deep fried and breaded stuff, sweet salads and sweets). They were insulted. Her husband brought a lamb meat feast home and they had (small) family time instead.  Of course, you have no idea what actually happened, or the context, but these little mini-dramas are oddly compelling.

I've seen a lot of good ideas for this way of eating (and only about half of them are bacon-themed). That's the main reason I follow these sites-looking for what people actually eat in real life, not for the voyeurism or the squabbles on orthodoxy. This morning, for example, I had a "pancake" made of two eggs beaten with a quarter cup full-fat ricotta cheese, and a splash of vanilla for richness. Cooked in butter. It didn't need sweetener in my opinion, though others would disagree and want at least sugar-free syrup on top.  The visual was very pancake-like, and the taste was more pancake than scrambled egg. I read folks often put almond or coconut floor in (maybe a tablespoon) and that actually makes it fluffier rather than heavy. I'll try that-I've got almond flour in the freezer.  It held me nicely past my normal lunch time. The only problem was I did not take time to make any vegetables, and of course fruit is a no-no. Except for blueberries, which I didn't have but which could be very good added to the mix.

But I spend too much time with racing and replying. I don't allow myself to look at Facebook while at work-though I often will spend my lunch in my office reading work-related blogs.  I want to limit my time on this, because time is so limited. I currently feel like even watching tv is higher on (my abstract) virtue hierarchy.  So I'm trying to ration myself. I look at the clock when I sit down, and try to cut myself off. Too often, I blow past my own deadline and keep reading.  I'll have to consider more drastic measures.

Right now, I've got to get moving because daylight is burning. But will I click on Facebook before I stand up? Can I spend just 2 minutes on it?  What's the harm?

Spring, Finally

We've had a few signs of spring. The second the snow retreated, the croscuses jumped into bloom. But conditions have been up and down.

But yesterday marked one of my important milestones on the progress of spring. I went running with the dog outside before work. It was both warm enough and light enough. We left before sunrise, and went through the neighborhood. But on the way back, it was light enough to feel good going through the stream valley park behind the house.  There, it's darker, the footing on the paved but rough path is uncertain, and it's a little bit isolated. Lot's of other people were out, so it felt good.

Both the dog and I are out of shape, but this is S-O-O-O great!

Cheat Days

Because eating very low carb causes your body to switch how it processes food, a single day of eating high carb can cause weight to fluctuate.  Just as the original 4-8 pounds loss is water, so the quick gain is also water.  I've now got an N=2 example of this.  Here is the stackup of the nutrients I've been eating, with net carbs in red on the bottom:

I went on Atkins seriously on 1/20/2015, initially aiming for less than 20 net grams of carbohydrate a day, now less than 30.  The big peak on the right is my birthday, 3/22.  There is a small peak around March 1 - I was being social, which included eating much more liberally - not so much in calories but in content, allowing a wider range of carbohydrate foods.

Here is my weight for the same time period, with daily numbers in blue and the weekly average in red:

You can see two bump ups-in my daily scale weight, the first from the 2-day smaller peak and the second from my birthday.  In each case, it took about a week to get back on trend.

Is it worth it to deviate like that?

Short answer:  YES - to a point.  I live in the real world, and relationships are more important.than what I eat or what I weigh.  But there comes a point where it is not about the relationships, but just about really really liking the Carvel ice cream cake with birthday candles... and that's the point where it would make sense to stop!  At any rate, it's always reversable, and you just have to acknowledge (even at the time) this is what will happen.

But it's fine. Excelsior!

Absolutely Actively Atkins

Today I saw a number on the scale I last saw a number on the scale I last saw in the year 2000! And the weekly average is also down!  I am overcoming the bounce!  Not blasting through, but maybe an image of chipping a slightly bigger dent with each bounce.

This is taking a whole lot of effort. I'm not sure how long I'll maintain the effort, but I'm really working on finding sustainable things to eat and short cuts and habits to make doing this easier.  I would like to achieve a certain goal - which is less than 10 pounds away - but may be satisfied 5 pounds short of that - if it becomes my new set point.

So this time I am totally, completely, "doing Atkins".  In the past, I have read the books and done it, but decided in many cases that I know it, and so I made choices without thinking them completely through.  I also have been influenced by cultural stigmas around Atkins, which resulted in me being ambivalent about the process, and only committed to it for a short-term weight-loss goal, not for the rest of my life.  I wrote about it this in the past. I've gone back and read those posts, which are newly tagged "Atkins". Now, I'm all in. For life, but that doesn't mean just like what I'm doing now.  I'm out of the closet, and dangerously close to wanting to proselytize.

The science is finally catching up with Atkins, which was developed by Dr. Robert Atkins based on his clinical experience, not conventional wisdom. Current dietary recommendations - and even the way Weight Watchers scores points - is relatively Atkins friendly.  You want to lose weight, control your blood sugar, or improve your cholesterol numbers?  Cut carbs, up protein, and don't worry about "healthy fats".  This is now the conventional wisdom. In fact, the newest recommendations by the "Dietary Guidelines Advisory Committee", (which are draft recommendations and yet to be finalized) basically say this, walking away from the old food pyramid with starches on the big bottom.  The part of this that seemed to grab the most headlines was the point that dietary cholesterol has essentially nothing to do with the cholesterol and so you can feel fine about eating eggs.  The original recommendation was based on a reasonable hypothesis - but no clinical evidence - that there was a relationship.  The science testing this hypothesis has been repeated several times in the last twenty years, always with the same result - the cholesterol in your blood is manufactured by your body, not from eating cholesterol.  But due to prejudice, and scientific and bureaucratic inertia, the draft guidelines finally (and grudgingly) acknowledge this.

There is a counter culture underground that has followed Atkins for years. There are also many other named variations of eating like this - Paleo is the current most popular label. I am sticking with the detailed Atkins guidelines right now, not mixing and matching from other diets. But there are of course sub-variants even within Atkins. I've found several discussion groups on-line where folks are adamant about following "the Atkins diet as Dr. Atkins himself specified it". That is captured in a book published in 1980; there was an update in 1993 and maybe some revised editions until Dr. Atkins died (from injuries sustained in a fall) in 2003.  They seem to think he was a prophet, where I think he was an insightful clinician.  But science has moved on. So there are books written from 2010 on that modify The Doctor's prescriptions slightly. That is what I am following.  I'm going back and reading and re-reading a couple of different books that stick to the same rules but describe and talk about them differently.

Certainly anyone reading this far knows the broad outlines of the Atkins Diet.  Eat meat. Eat fat.  Eat bacon and eggs for every meal. Eat bacon-wrapped bacon.  Eat steaks with bearnaise sauce with a daily glass of red wine. Eat Atkins-labelled shakes and energy bars.

Well, actually not so much.  The main new point is to focus on getting enough vegetables.  This is an element for life.  Limited portions of meat, limited amounts of dairy, limited amounts of avocados and nuts.  No fake sweeteners (though there are raging debates about what is fake - for example, is stevia fake?  Are sugar alcohols?).  Read every label and eliminate any with sugar (in any of its synonyms) listed within the first five ingredients, or that has more than five carbohydrate grams per serving.  Generally, don't even bother looking at anything labelled "low fat" because chances are it has starch and sugar - this is very true in the dairy world, including greek yogurt. Track your food, and start with an average of 20 net carbohydrate grams per day, +/- 2 grams.  "Net carbohydrates" means you can subtract fiber grams from the total, so high fiber vegetables like cauliflower and avocados can add volume.  As you track your food, also track your calories because they do matter if you want to lose weight. I read a lot, and there are tidbits, pointers, and new ideas coming up all the time.

In practice, this pretty much means cook from scratch from primary ingredients.  Almost all prepared salad dressings or sauces have sugar in them. Almost all prepared meats have too many carbs. No yummy beef stews or curried chicken from the food bar at Whole Foods - because I don't know what's in them, but they are almost all thickened with some form of starch.  (I can grab a roast chicken, though, hooray!)

The general idea is to strictly limit carbs and calories initially. One's body takes a couple of weeks to learn how to process fat as the main source of fuel. Once the transition is made, food choices can be slightly expanded, along with the carb count which can ratchet up by about 5 grams a week. Generally, to lose weight, carbs need to be stopped under 50 grams.  Because meat is limited, and carbs are limited, but generally you should eat at least 1100 calories a day, a lot of the food is fat. Atkins does not really emphasize "good fats" versus bad ones, though a consequence of limiting meat is limiting fat from meat.  As I am losing weight, some of my fuel by definition is coming from my own body fat, and I'm limiting total calories.  Once I decide to stop losing weight, I won't be burning my own fat, and so will need to up my calorie count to provide adequate fuel. NOT FROM CARBS, and not from protein, so my fat intake should go up.

So I'm staying under 30 grams of net carbs now, and only gradually widening my food choices. Blueberries are my favorite berries, which is the first fruit allowed. Melon is also allowed early on, but that's hard to do in small portions for just me. I've got all tree nuts, (but not cashews or peanuts) and most green vegetables, and would eat small amounts of winter squash, sweet potatoes, and carrots, but I haven't gone out of my way to get them.

I travelled for work this week, and managed my way through even without a concrete plan. We went as a group of six to a famous barbecue place. It was St Patrick's Day, and everyone had beer.  I looked at it longingly, but found a "dirty martini" on the menu. Alcohol has no carbs, it has a tiny amount of vermouth, and brine from the olive jar. Salty and tasty.  Dinner was way too much meat (no red sauce) and a tasty vegetable kabob.  I boxed up the meat, left it on the hotel room windowsill overnight, and had some plain meat for breakfast, got a green salad from the cafeteria to go with the last of the meat for lunch.  My a handful of almonds I had brought got me home.

Folks on the discussion group are full of discussions about how to make sweets. They use stevia and xylitol. Not for me. They also make "fat bombs" with these fake sweets, to up calorie count without carbs.  But I did make my version where I melted in the microwave roughly a quarter-cup each of almond butter, coconut oil, cream cheese, and 80% dark chocolate. Poured into mini-muffin tins and frozen (because not stable at room temp) a single treat has 120 calories and only 2 carbs - and nothing fake!  One a day max, if my calorie count is low.

I intend to make shrimp alfredo with basil pesto zoodles for dinner.  (Zoodles are strings cut from zucchini, using a vegetti which happily my girl gave me for Christmas. )  Yum!

Tomorrow, I'll eat a treat, and allow myself to go up in carbs - but ideally would like to be under 50. I won't take the whole day off, because I'm on a good trend, and I don't want to upset it.

Excelsior!  Nothing motivates to stay the course like seeing progress!