My list for the farmer's market: zucchini and peaches. I bought: zucchini, peaches, eggplant, swiss chard.
My list for Whole Foods: apples and steak. I bought: apples, steak, hamburgers, ground lamb, ground pork, cherries, guacamole, lemon juice, lime juice, onions, sweet potatoes, dinner rolls, walnuts, and lunch. At least this saved another trip the next day.
This is day 11 of 30 on the Whole 30. According to the Whole 30 folks, most folks who drop out do so on day 11 or 12. I think I'm set for today, but I need to be sure I've got the work week covered properly.
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Monday, July 4, 2016
The Past and the Future
Since I technically (for about 3 days) made my goal weight last year, I've been contemplating what I want to do now. How do I want to eat for the rest of my life? How much do I care about my weight? I've got a whole parallel running internal dialogue on fitness and activity, but for this post I'm mostly focused on food, eating, and weight.
Partly why I'm doing the Whole 30 is to try out a different way of eating. Because it is for a short period, it's possible to really think about what I'm eating and how it makes me feel. It's very similar to the way I have been trying to eat for the past many years, but with some differences. It's easiest to describe by what not to eat: no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no added sugar or any form of sweeteners, no alcohol. What's left are meat, fish, eggs, vegetables (including root vegetables like sweet and white potatoes), fruit, and nuts. For the thirty days, no using these ingredients creatively to try to re-create treats - no baking with almond flour - because the diet tries to do two things: detox your body, and break eating habits while creating a new cooking habit. Pretty close to every packaged food will have something not allowed - even my low-carb bottled salad dressings which have zero carbs per serving have some form of sugar as an added ingredient on the label, and thus are not allowed. Cooking is the only possible way through. Luckily, it's summer, and vegetables and fruit are good and plentiful.
So I'm doing this, for a month, and then I'll add stuff back. I don't believe I have any actual food allergies nor even intolerances - no problems with gluten or lactose. But this diet will help me know it for sure, when I add things back. (I do have a health challenge of bizarre migraines, and perhaps there is a relationship to food. This restricted diet should help figure it out.) My idealized diet I've conceptualized would include dairy, for richness, and legumes, for more plant-based proteins. I like meat, but I think the environmental toll of meat production, and animal welfare issues, mean I should eat less meat, if I can do so healthfully. And by healthfully, I mean without gaining weight. The ideal diet would also include ice cream, alcohol, and chocolate, but in small exquisitely perfect tiny portions. I haven't shown I'm able to do restrain myself that way, yet.
So far, I feel like I'm eating a lot, including a lot of fruit, and I'm getting the hunger pangs that I think sugar (even fruit sugar) drives. So I may moderate the fruit a bit. In addition, I've been eating sweet potatoes, something I haven't done much of ever. I quite like them. I've been afraid to eat white potatoes.
Let's put some historical perspective on where my weight is now, six months after seeing my goal. First the long view.
I consider anything below the red line to be a victory. I've shown I can keep from doing the big rebound - but only if I pay attention. We can zoom in on the story since I started focusing on this, and blogging about it, in 2010.
One single big loss, and relatively stable weight with an intermittent focus for a few years, then a big push to get down to the blue goal. But last year and this year definitely tell the classic weight loss rebound story.
People who say "diets don't work" would crow at seeing this classic rebound. I think the longer history and context gives that point the lie - I have spent many years lower than my top weight. And my current weight is far from stable - in the last seven days alone, it has varied by five whole pounds. I don't think my blue-line goal is actually realistic for me to maintain - I think I'd need to work too hard, more than I am willing to work. I've set a goal at 140 pounds, ten pounds below the red line and five pounds below today. I have found there is a difference in how I look and feel at that weight versus how I was at the red line, enough of a difference for my vanity to want that improvement. My theory is I can actively manage myself down to that weight and stay there for a while, and eventually my body will realize it likes it and homeostasis will kick in and keep me there.
The Whole 30 goals do not include weight loss, though they say most people do lose weight during the thirty days. They are so adament on the point that it's not about weight loss that the rules include a veto on weighing yourself during the period. I have a problem with not collecting data, but I concede the point about not focusing on it. Since I have a wi-fi scale that automatically records my weight, I've decided to step on it every day, but block my view of the number. The history will be there waiting for me when the thirty days are up. I don't have huge expectations - the decrease in sugar is likely to result in water loss, but so far I'm eating so much sweet fruit I might not even see that. But of course I have hopes for a big reduction.
The working week resumes tomorrow, with a bunch of stressors to be added to tending to my three patients. I've got a fridge full of compliant leftovers, because cooking is not something I generally do during the week. Blogging is also likely to suffer. I am taking pictures of my meals, often, so there may be some food porn posted here, just as record keeping.
I long for a bit of routine, which the coming week should bring.
Partly why I'm doing the Whole 30 is to try out a different way of eating. Because it is for a short period, it's possible to really think about what I'm eating and how it makes me feel. It's very similar to the way I have been trying to eat for the past many years, but with some differences. It's easiest to describe by what not to eat: no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no added sugar or any form of sweeteners, no alcohol. What's left are meat, fish, eggs, vegetables (including root vegetables like sweet and white potatoes), fruit, and nuts. For the thirty days, no using these ingredients creatively to try to re-create treats - no baking with almond flour - because the diet tries to do two things: detox your body, and break eating habits while creating a new cooking habit. Pretty close to every packaged food will have something not allowed - even my low-carb bottled salad dressings which have zero carbs per serving have some form of sugar as an added ingredient on the label, and thus are not allowed. Cooking is the only possible way through. Luckily, it's summer, and vegetables and fruit are good and plentiful.
So I'm doing this, for a month, and then I'll add stuff back. I don't believe I have any actual food allergies nor even intolerances - no problems with gluten or lactose. But this diet will help me know it for sure, when I add things back. (I do have a health challenge of bizarre migraines, and perhaps there is a relationship to food. This restricted diet should help figure it out.) My idealized diet I've conceptualized would include dairy, for richness, and legumes, for more plant-based proteins. I like meat, but I think the environmental toll of meat production, and animal welfare issues, mean I should eat less meat, if I can do so healthfully. And by healthfully, I mean without gaining weight. The ideal diet would also include ice cream, alcohol, and chocolate, but in small exquisitely perfect tiny portions. I haven't shown I'm able to do restrain myself that way, yet.
So far, I feel like I'm eating a lot, including a lot of fruit, and I'm getting the hunger pangs that I think sugar (even fruit sugar) drives. So I may moderate the fruit a bit. In addition, I've been eating sweet potatoes, something I haven't done much of ever. I quite like them. I've been afraid to eat white potatoes.
Let's put some historical perspective on where my weight is now, six months after seeing my goal. First the long view.
One single big loss, and relatively stable weight with an intermittent focus for a few years, then a big push to get down to the blue goal. But last year and this year definitely tell the classic weight loss rebound story.
People who say "diets don't work" would crow at seeing this classic rebound. I think the longer history and context gives that point the lie - I have spent many years lower than my top weight. And my current weight is far from stable - in the last seven days alone, it has varied by five whole pounds. I don't think my blue-line goal is actually realistic for me to maintain - I think I'd need to work too hard, more than I am willing to work. I've set a goal at 140 pounds, ten pounds below the red line and five pounds below today. I have found there is a difference in how I look and feel at that weight versus how I was at the red line, enough of a difference for my vanity to want that improvement. My theory is I can actively manage myself down to that weight and stay there for a while, and eventually my body will realize it likes it and homeostasis will kick in and keep me there.
The Whole 30 goals do not include weight loss, though they say most people do lose weight during the thirty days. They are so adament on the point that it's not about weight loss that the rules include a veto on weighing yourself during the period. I have a problem with not collecting data, but I concede the point about not focusing on it. Since I have a wi-fi scale that automatically records my weight, I've decided to step on it every day, but block my view of the number. The history will be there waiting for me when the thirty days are up. I don't have huge expectations - the decrease in sugar is likely to result in water loss, but so far I'm eating so much sweet fruit I might not even see that. But of course I have hopes for a big reduction.
 |
| A 3x5 card over the numbers is enough to block my view. |
The working week resumes tomorrow, with a bunch of stressors to be added to tending to my three patients. I've got a fridge full of compliant leftovers, because cooking is not something I generally do during the week. Blogging is also likely to suffer. I am taking pictures of my meals, often, so there may be some food porn posted here, just as record keeping.
I long for a bit of routine, which the coming week should bring.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Twenty-eight more to go
Just a quick boring log of Day Two.
Up early with a restless dog. Chicken sausages with blueberries for breakfast, then a nice run in Bethesda - just over three miles. Very slow intervals. I had a migraine after running, while going to the farmers market, where I got peaches and small cabbages. Very hungry for lunch - leftovers from yesterday, chicken with zuchini, more blueberries. A longer dog walk, then off to see my mother.
Starving when I came home, so snack of almonds and blueberries, inadvertently shared with the dog. Still hungry, so more leftovers - steak and sweet potatoes in coconut cream. I simply could not stay awake, dozing on the couch during the final Prairie Home Companion. But the craving, the urge, for a sweet dessert was very strong. Then another dog walk, and a bedtime snack of peaches and blueberries.
Going to read, and lights out soon. Feeling full, and like the fruit was a sweet.
Up early with a restless dog. Chicken sausages with blueberries for breakfast, then a nice run in Bethesda - just over three miles. Very slow intervals. I had a migraine after running, while going to the farmers market, where I got peaches and small cabbages. Very hungry for lunch - leftovers from yesterday, chicken with zuchini, more blueberries. A longer dog walk, then off to see my mother.
Starving when I came home, so snack of almonds and blueberries, inadvertently shared with the dog. Still hungry, so more leftovers - steak and sweet potatoes in coconut cream. I simply could not stay awake, dozing on the couch during the final Prairie Home Companion. But the craving, the urge, for a sweet dessert was very strong. Then another dog walk, and a bedtime snack of peaches and blueberries.
Going to read, and lights out soon. Feeling full, and like the fruit was a sweet.
Friday, July 1, 2016
July = Whole30?
Today could be the first day of my Whole30. I have not got a firm commitment in my mind, and think I'm jumping the gun on my other family members who were thinking of it. But today was compliant, so maybe I should go for it. I don't have a firm plan, but its similar enough to how I eat (or how I think I eat, not the same thing) that I should be able to jump into it.
I've been really wracked by sugar demons. At an out-of-town conference, I hit up the plentiful snacks pretty often. But I knew as I took the food, and felt as I reached for more, it was making me feel like crap. Still I reached for it. I gave myself some minimal kudos for making the strong connection to the crappy feeling. It wasn't enough to deter from the immediate gratification of the chocolate chunk cookie, but maybe next time.
The Whole30 book I just read said cravings only last for 3-4 minutes so you only need to distract yourself. This is not my experience. Ice cream is my biggest craving. I will spend quite some time - make a special cross-town trip-- to satisfy my ice cream craving. Last night after seeing my mother I stopped at a very convenient and very good frozen yogurt place, and really enjoyed it.
But I'm Whole30 now, and so there is no question I will not stop again this month.
Breakfast was chicken sausage with guacamole and salsa from Whole Foods. Lunch was grilled (by me) chicken from the freezer with sauteed onions and zuchini. Dinner was a rib eye steak, accompanied by sweet potatoes cooked in coconut milk with a hint of cumin and a squeeze of lime. Dairy in all its forms is off the menu, but that coconut milk sauce was really creamy.
I was really tired, but decided I needed to have left overs to make it through tomorrow.
I've been really wracked by sugar demons. At an out-of-town conference, I hit up the plentiful snacks pretty often. But I knew as I took the food, and felt as I reached for more, it was making me feel like crap. Still I reached for it. I gave myself some minimal kudos for making the strong connection to the crappy feeling. It wasn't enough to deter from the immediate gratification of the chocolate chunk cookie, but maybe next time.
The Whole30 book I just read said cravings only last for 3-4 minutes so you only need to distract yourself. This is not my experience. Ice cream is my biggest craving. I will spend quite some time - make a special cross-town trip-- to satisfy my ice cream craving. Last night after seeing my mother I stopped at a very convenient and very good frozen yogurt place, and really enjoyed it.
But I'm Whole30 now, and so there is no question I will not stop again this month.
Breakfast was chicken sausage with guacamole and salsa from Whole Foods. Lunch was grilled (by me) chicken from the freezer with sauteed onions and zuchini. Dinner was a rib eye steak, accompanied by sweet potatoes cooked in coconut milk with a hint of cumin and a squeeze of lime. Dairy in all its forms is off the menu, but that coconut milk sauce was really creamy.
I was really tired, but decided I needed to have left overs to make it through tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Practicing Whole30
I'm seriously contemplating doing the Whole30 challenge, especially if I can do it with family members. It's basically the same thing as Paleo, but without the pseudo-science of trying to eat as out ancestors may or may not have eaten. Instead, the focus is on eliminating whole spectrums of potentially irritating foods- but only for 30 days. It's all about proteins and especially vegetables, mostly cooks at home from fresh ingredients (so you actually know what you are eating).
I may start it up in July. It will be hard to eliminate dairy, which for me is a big source of richness. As I think about how I want to eat for the rest of my life, I also think I want to eat more legumes, and less meat.
So I've been reading labels, big time. Cooking from scratch is truly the only way to control things. I went to farmers market on Saturday last and overbought. I was too busy and too tired to do as much cooking as I had hoped. But I did roast a couple of bunches of radishes, and steamed a big bowl of broccoli. So this morning I sautéed an onion, and tossed in the pre-roasted radishes. I put that on the plate, then tossed in the broccoli to heat it up, and added that to the plate. Lastly, in the same unwashed skillet, I fried a couple of eggs. This was actually more food than I could eat at once, but I knew I'd be away and otherwise I'd just be throwing it out.
This breakfast (and especially the photo) are an homage to Team_Sherwood on Instagram.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
The Cruise
This may have been the voyage from hell, but only if hell is sweet, soft, boozy, and has really good food.
My extended family signed up for a twelve-day big cruise to the Baltic. We love cruising, and like to have many family members there. We don't need to spend all our time together, but we interact enough to keep things interesting. My brother and sister-in-law, two of the kids, my brother-in-law, and my mother came along.
Sadly, the second night out, I woke to my mother crying "Help! Help!". She had fallen as she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, and hurt herself badly. There was blood, and she couldn't get up. The emergency services and medical center on the ship were quick and efficient, but she was (is) still hurt. They patched her up (the cuts not bad) and took xrays of her back and knee. She hurt her back badly, but nothing showed as broken on the xrays. For the rest of the voyage, she needed a wheel chair, to have someone with her at all hours, and intimate assistance with hygine. Of course, the family helped me, but all the intimate care (and night time interruptions) was mine. Due to her failure to get any better in her back, the ship's doctor sent us to an emergency room in Stockholm, where we spent a sleepless night waiting for xrays, which also confirmed nothing was broken. That day was the only viable opportunity to leave the trip early, but my mother refused to go ("I don't want to ruin your vacation" "You are spending all your time shrieking or whimpering in pain and I'm spending all my time mopping up your urine - I'm sorry but you already have!"). With my utter exhaustion, I wasn't capable of making arrangements in the face of her obstinancy.
The trip home several days later was awful, watching her grey face as she simply endured, though I upgraded her to business class (which then was bumped for no more money all the way to first class with a lay-flat bed and a more private rest room). I skipped going to my house, got her to bed in her apartment, and slept on the floor in the next room. I arranged for my nephew to pick up my dogs, one of whom had major emergency surgery the day before we left and would need his stitches removed soon. We were able to see her doctor in her continuing care community first thing the next morning (and they had wheelchairs to borrow to get her there). She was admitted to the short-term rehap nursing home they have there later that afternoon, where finally someone else took responsibility for her. I slept like a log for ten hours. I was supposed to climb back on an airplane and take my youngest out to the midwest for freshman orientation, but her father stepped up and did that.
My mother had a lengthy MRI on Friday, and we'll go see the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to see if there is anything operable or some way to fix the pain. This means I'm not going back to work as scheduled, another bit of anxiety.
How about this: I spent twelve days on a cruise ship, for the most part ate everything I wanted to eat, drank not a little alcohol, and gained not a single pound. Nothing, nada, same as when I left.
How did this happen? It seemed to me I was eating a lot of desserts and drinking quite a bit. But I did really pay attention to what I ate and drank. I thought carefully every time before eating or drinking, "do I really want this?". It was balanced with what I had already had, and what I would be planning to have later that day. I ate things I do not normally eat - bread and pasta - but not all the time and not as if it didn't matter. I did not feel bad about leaving food on my plate if I didn't like it (rare) or I felt full. I never felt deprived. A couple of times I felt bad from eating too much, and that helped make future decisions easier. For reasons of hygine, everything is served to you on a dish (no scooping your own stuff from a hot table) so there was automatic portion control, always a problem for me.
So I'm not suddenly a super ninja intuitive eater. I got home and ate a giant helping of the only sweet thing in my cupboard - all there was. When I left on the cruise, I was up about ten pounds from my goal weight I was at in early December. Given the trend, I really expected to have gained weight. I've been evaluating my goals, and trying to decide how I'm going to eat for the rest of my life.
Another thing I did on the ship was use the fitness center. Three times (ok, not a lot in 12 days but something) I went and ran on the treadmill, then stretched and worked with weights. The running really really helped calm me down, and the weights and stretching made me feel good. How nice to be doing what is good for me, and it feels good.
When I could step away from my mother, there were definite highlights on the cruise. We had a lovely day trip to Berlin - a city I had never seen. And the small city of Talinn in Estonia is very cute. Perhaps my favorite moment was sitting in the square drinking pear cider with my nephew and my sister-in-law.
I had a full day ashore in St. Petersburg, touring Catherine's Palace and a whirlwind through L'Hermitage. In Gotenburg (Sweden) there was a fun kayaking trip through the harbor and around the medieval city, using the old moat-turned-canal. And in Kiel, Germany, there was a tall ship event going on, so watching the harbor traffic from the deck was very fun.
Here's to the sandwich generation: college orientation went well, and the prospect of the empty nest is more appealing than not. But new responsibilities at the other end of the spectrum will tie me close to home for a while.
I am probably going to try the Whole30 food experiment in July, with my brother and sister-in-law. So more to come, as things evolve with my mother and with me.
My extended family signed up for a twelve-day big cruise to the Baltic. We love cruising, and like to have many family members there. We don't need to spend all our time together, but we interact enough to keep things interesting. My brother and sister-in-law, two of the kids, my brother-in-law, and my mother came along.
Sadly, the second night out, I woke to my mother crying "Help! Help!". She had fallen as she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, and hurt herself badly. There was blood, and she couldn't get up. The emergency services and medical center on the ship were quick and efficient, but she was (is) still hurt. They patched her up (the cuts not bad) and took xrays of her back and knee. She hurt her back badly, but nothing showed as broken on the xrays. For the rest of the voyage, she needed a wheel chair, to have someone with her at all hours, and intimate assistance with hygine. Of course, the family helped me, but all the intimate care (and night time interruptions) was mine. Due to her failure to get any better in her back, the ship's doctor sent us to an emergency room in Stockholm, where we spent a sleepless night waiting for xrays, which also confirmed nothing was broken. That day was the only viable opportunity to leave the trip early, but my mother refused to go ("I don't want to ruin your vacation" "You are spending all your time shrieking or whimpering in pain and I'm spending all my time mopping up your urine - I'm sorry but you already have!"). With my utter exhaustion, I wasn't capable of making arrangements in the face of her obstinancy.
The trip home several days later was awful, watching her grey face as she simply endured, though I upgraded her to business class (which then was bumped for no more money all the way to first class with a lay-flat bed and a more private rest room). I skipped going to my house, got her to bed in her apartment, and slept on the floor in the next room. I arranged for my nephew to pick up my dogs, one of whom had major emergency surgery the day before we left and would need his stitches removed soon. We were able to see her doctor in her continuing care community first thing the next morning (and they had wheelchairs to borrow to get her there). She was admitted to the short-term rehap nursing home they have there later that afternoon, where finally someone else took responsibility for her. I slept like a log for ten hours. I was supposed to climb back on an airplane and take my youngest out to the midwest for freshman orientation, but her father stepped up and did that.
My mother had a lengthy MRI on Friday, and we'll go see the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to see if there is anything operable or some way to fix the pain. This means I'm not going back to work as scheduled, another bit of anxiety.
So aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did it go?
How did this happen? It seemed to me I was eating a lot of desserts and drinking quite a bit. But I did really pay attention to what I ate and drank. I thought carefully every time before eating or drinking, "do I really want this?". It was balanced with what I had already had, and what I would be planning to have later that day. I ate things I do not normally eat - bread and pasta - but not all the time and not as if it didn't matter. I did not feel bad about leaving food on my plate if I didn't like it (rare) or I felt full. I never felt deprived. A couple of times I felt bad from eating too much, and that helped make future decisions easier. For reasons of hygine, everything is served to you on a dish (no scooping your own stuff from a hot table) so there was automatic portion control, always a problem for me.
 |
| Mixology Class |
When I could step away from my mother, there were definite highlights on the cruise. We had a lovely day trip to Berlin - a city I had never seen. And the small city of Talinn in Estonia is very cute. Perhaps my favorite moment was sitting in the square drinking pear cider with my nephew and my sister-in-law.
I had a full day ashore in St. Petersburg, touring Catherine's Palace and a whirlwind through L'Hermitage. In Gotenburg (Sweden) there was a fun kayaking trip through the harbor and around the medieval city, using the old moat-turned-canal. And in Kiel, Germany, there was a tall ship event going on, so watching the harbor traffic from the deck was very fun.
Here's to the sandwich generation: college orientation went well, and the prospect of the empty nest is more appealing than not. But new responsibilities at the other end of the spectrum will tie me close to home for a while.
I am probably going to try the Whole30 food experiment in July, with my brother and sister-in-law. So more to come, as things evolve with my mother and with me.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Moderation in Nothing
Many things to say on the topic in the title but very quick post before I am distracted.
I love running!
Just back from short slow run to my music in the cool drizzle. From the first moment I was jazzed, even though it's been a week since I last ran. My motivation is I'm a month out from my local 5K- the one I walk to-my first one ever.
It felt very good the whole time, which included walk breaks. I strutted back up the hill to my house. I want to capture this feeling and send it my way when I'm huddled on the couch.
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