It's the weekend... DANGER DANGER DANGER!!!!!

Here I am, 9:30 on Saturday, trying to plan out eating not just for the day but the week.  But oh, the competing priorities!  Chores, laundry, paperwork, bills, kids to care for, activities to plan... And I have to get to Whole Foods by 10 or there will be no room in the parking lot.  Drycleaning is close to that - have I got that sorted out? Or just blow it off for another week?

Shopping lists, driven by meal plans, modified by what is on sale - that sure would be organized of me. What do I need from Giant, Trader Joes, Whole Foods? Is a CostCo run in the cards or even necessary?  Instead, I'll go driven by the clock's remorseless movement forward, scrambling from one stop to the next. Have to get to Motor Vehicles before noon. Combine that with visit to my mother, stop at TJ's on the way back.

One load of laundry is cooking, I spend 20 minutes on the Wii, time to hit the road!  I have some vague meal plans in the head, cannot take the time right now to write them down. Maybe later.

Off course, out of mindfulness

I've not felt well the last two days - not sick, just not well. So the idea of discipline, of mindfulness of my eating, is way less appetizing. Not enough sleep is one of the big problems. Focused on other things is another issue. How can I keep the focus going and still manage the rest of my life?

One of the skills is simply to keep reading the relevant sections of this blog, to help keep the important focus front and center.  Better, proud, kids.  Remember why I want to do it.  Plan out the day, and don't just do a "what the hell" in the evening. Plan a better strategy for the evening - what is an alternative reward? What is a good distraction?

What was I thinking when I grabbed the chocolate when I got home? I already had a high calorie dessert of cheesecake at my conference dinner. In fact, when I was planning the day's eating, I had planned to cut the dessert in half. But, instead, I ate the whole serving - I simply forgot the plan in the moment. I was talking and thinking of other things.

Then, driving home, I decided to allow a piece of chocolate. Somehow, that turned into four or five. My thoughts seemed to be, "I feel crummy. I want this to feel better."  I ate it while reading, not consciously and deliberately. Helpful thoughts would have been, "I want to feel better. In the long run, that means not eating this now."  A better practice would have been to make myself sit at the dining room table and only eat while I ate my one piece. No unconscious munching while reading on the couch.

Today, at my corporate training event we learned something about motivations and influencing people (including ourselves). It seemed to fit nicely into what I am learning by doing this. There was a video about resisting eating marshmallows, the point of which is "will" can be taught - resistance techniques were taught to four-year-olds!  Other elements include personal motivations to awaken from "moral slumber" (not moral turpitude), and creating a social norm for the desired behavior (hence the need for the diet buddy).  The bottom of the motivational hierarchy was incentives (rewards and punishments) - only after personal and social motivations do incentives come into play.

This weekend I'll plan ahead for the coming week. I'll put a lot of energy into planning a week's worth of meals in advance. I'll also make a goal of time on the NordicTrak. I should be able to accumulate a half hour over the course of the weekend.

CREDIT:  I didn't blow off everything today. I took a walk at lunch. I ate a salad for lunch. And I'm checking in with my DIY Diet Buddy.

Credit Jan 5

I ate my planned meals today.
I took a small walk at lunch.
I ate sitting down and not too fast.
I recorded all my food.


- iPhone uPdate

Experiment #1- what does hunger feel like?

Whenever I feel like eating, analyze the feeling.

11:20. Want to eat. Hunger in stomach. Stomach growling slughtly Drinking water instead as I go to meeting.

12:45. Ate my prepared lunch, not too fast.

4:00. Ate cheese snack. Sort of hungry, definitely restless.

7:20. After supper. Full but not uncomfortable.

9:50. Want to eat. Stomach full. Not hungry. Go for hot tea.



- iPhone uPdate

Invincibility is an illusion

I was feeling invulnerable today, and invincible. I could do anything. I was in command of my fate. I was in command of my stomach.  I was going to do whatever it took.

I felt like telling everybody, "It's a new year! It's a new me!".  I remembered what has happened in the past, but that was then, this is now.  I was surprised they couldn't see the difference just by looking at me.

Suddenly, after supper, I was sucker punched, metaphorically.  Suddenly, I hurt everywhere. I was so tired I could scarcely stand up. Quickly, I bid farewell to the fams and headed home to my sanctuary, where I gulped some tylenol and am sipping camomile tea while reflecting on what changed and why.

Perhaps it is a reaction to dinner? Was there something there that could trigger these feelings - a food allergy? Not particularly "diet" - bratwurst, tortellini, and ragu with parmesan. Do I have a problem with wheat? Am I coming down with the swine flu? Is it a body reaction to a sullen child making demands? Or is it just the after a carb meal lethargy?  For years, our friends giggled about the "Shellabarger flop" that always followed a heavy meal.

Who knows. I feel slightly better now - time or the tylenol kicking in. Very discouraging to have the momentum knocked out on January 4th.

Credit today

I ate my planned breakfast.
I ate my planned lunch--and remembered to slow down and savor it.
I took a short walk around the building.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Slow down, you eat too fast

To the tune of Simon and Garfunkle's timeless hit, and plagarized from an anecdote in Beck's book:

Slow down, you eat too fast.
You've got to make the moment last.
Just sitting down, look at the food.
Tasting it all, and feeling groovy!


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone