Ok So Far

I haven't actually followed any of the plans I made. I didn't bring cheese or chocolate. I had a drink at dinner last night without calculating it first (but I really wanted it). I didn't take the skinniest item on the menu - but I didn't go for the steak or deep fried fish either. I ate all the bread they served as the starter, and dipped in olive oil. I had baked fish, and ended up eating all the linguine it came with, despite an initial thought not to. I added everything up afterwards and it was an ok day. Just as well I had no chocolate- I wanted some and it might have not stopped at one. I tried to be really generous at portion estimating and was surprised at how reasonable it came out to be.

What was especially interesting to me was watching how the others ordered and ate. It has been a while since I sat down with folks outside my immediate circle. Because I am so very conscious of my own behavior (give myself credit for awareness, even if not acting on it all the time) I was extremely observant. Judith Beck says pretty much no-one can eat whatever they want whenever they want it, and I have come to believe that's true. I'm over my envy of the "naturally thin".

I was most intrigued by one woman (some 5-10 years younger than me) who I see as nearly a model. She is trim but doesn't look like a "naturally skinny" type. She had a glass of white wine which she nursed. She tore off one tiny piece of the focaccia, didn't dip it in olive oil. She ordered a starter salad and had the dressing on the side (most of us didn't get salads). She ordered the skinniest thing on the menu - broiled fish with rice - and then left most of the rice. 

I think she was the very model of the self controlled person Judith Beck says we can be. I'm not so sure I can or want to go there. But it was interesting to watch her subtle choices and reflect on how better choices can be made and perhaps they will add up.  Inspiration for tonight's dinner out.