No, Really, Things Will Be Different This Time!

I've thought this often. I've heard it and read it and thought it. This time will be different. This time it's for real. This time, I've changed and things will never go back to the way they were.

Probably half the times I hear this, it turns out not to be true. Think about Oprah. She did the work, she got to goal. No matter how many personal trainers and chefs she had, she did it herself. But look where she is now.  Then think about Kim Bensen. I suppose if your living depends on selling your weight loss story, you may have even more motivation than normal to keep it off. But she still has to actually do it herself. Every day.

What does it take to make a permanent change? What does it take to get all the way to where you want to be? What does it take to keep the weight off when you are there?

During my Big Loss, I managed to lose forty pounds in a year, another ten in the next year, and kept that off for another year. Then it started to creep back up. I had a single day this winter where I got within five pounds of my top weight, and that's what sent me off on this round of losing weight.  Technically, I am a successful loser, because I kept 25 pound off for more than five years. I wouldn't call my history yo-yo dieting, but it's also not a pattern I want to relive constantly. What are the keys to success here? What are the things that truly make a difference, and can I do them permanently?

I really don't need to think about this right now, because I still have so far to go. But I've been thinking about permanent change a lot lately. I thought I had changed permanently ten years ago, after the Big Loss. But now, I think I've made some actual permanent changes. I think the real changes for me come from activity, not from eating habits.

I love to move!  I was on a real exercise kick for a year before tragedy changed my life, and as soon as I could, I got back into it. I'm really really enjoying the activity. I don't do it for the weight loss or even the appearance benefits. I do it because I enjoy doing it while I'm doing it, and because energy breeds energy. I want to get out there and do stuff. This lets me do it.

Eating every day is a struggle. If I didn't think about it constantly, I would be falling back to what is easy and enjoyable at least in the moment. I love bread, and french fries, and chocolate, and beer. I'm able to manage it, for most of the day at least, but only by keeping it present in my mind. Only because of the activity am I really losing weight. I keep bumping up the calories burned, and keep scheming about how to burn some more.

Right now, I think I'll sign off and take the dog around the block. Because, ultimately, there is no permanent change. Only today, and tomorrow, and each day one at a time, with a million little decisions to make that add up to loss or gain over time.