Friday, January 5, 2018

Kicked Upstairs

I am sucked into the whirlwind at work, asked to serve in a higher level position temporarily. To my surprise, yesterday I found out that was two notches higher than my normal job, a much bigger and more responsible job with no safety net. The high level post will be for a few weeks, waiting for the new permanent appointee, after which I'll move to a second seat, supporting the new guy, coaching and drawing on my "vast experience and wise counsel", for what is likely to be a much longer stint. I'll be the safety net.

When did I move from being the new kid to having vast experience?

I love my (normal) job. It is interesting, at times stressful, it feels useful. I figure I'll be in it until I retire, which I've been saying for the last three years is three to five years away. But sometimes folks at my work have a way of actually, literally, saying "your country needs you" to force one to step up. (I should mention rewards for doing so are only intrinsic or symbolic; no more money comes my way.) So away from the familiar and comfortable, and into the unfamiliar and uncomfortable.

It is energizing to be faced with this challenge, and more than a little bit daunting. But it's not a good time to be making resolutions for improved diet and more exercise!

Last year was not a good year for my weight. It was only an ok year for exercise. I stuck with the personal training at the gym, and that's a great thing. But running, not so much. I collect statistics automatically, fitbit and scale, so I've got the facts. Not a lot of time spent reviewing and analyzing them, however. Hardly any food tracking, though some photos.

My holidays were practically perfect in every way, the perfect break for the new year and the new challenges (which I had wind of but no certainty).  I think the timing of Christmas and New Year's holidays falling on Mondays is great. I had the three-day weekend to be ready for Christmas, making cooking and celebrating relatively stress-free. The whole family departed before dawn on the 26th, with hassle-free flights to Miami, transfer to a casual cruise ship, perfect weather to relax in the warm sun, and return on the Friday before New Years. Again the three day weekend at home before venturing into the whirlwind.

So I had time to reflect and resolve and work out. But I didn't, not so much. I read books and blogs, watched movies and binged on TV, hung with the family, ate too much, cooked when home, and generally lived only in the present. I did do quite a bit of walking, even with our very cold weather.

So the one thing I am trying to add to my life is more meditation. I believe it will spill over to everything else, work and personal, and even my eating and weight. So I'm focusing on mindfulness.  My specific approach is using an app, "10% Happier", done by Dan Harris who wrote the book of the same title. There are many guided meditations, which I find useful, and a timer for unguided, which I'm working on - it's harder to maintain focus all on my own, but that is where the benefits ultimately lie. Partly why I use the app even for the unguided time is because it records my minutes of meditation and so I can track and be realistic if I'm accomplishing my goals.
Work Candy Jar Spoils

I need to take my eating in hand. I know the single biggest thing is to plan and cook.  The second biggest is to track and face the reality of my consumption. Yesterday I was faced with a whirlwind all day. I had brought my food in to the office (yay, me, the first step) and ate it on the fly, while meeting with people or studying for the next meeting. No pictures, no mindful pause. At 4 pm I was exhausted. I did pause, briefly and think, checking in with my body. Craving or hungry?  I was legitimately hungry, as well as tired and in need of a boost. No caffeine source closer than Starbucks across the street, a 15 minute round trip, so instead it was the office candy jar. That kept me going until I got home a few hours later, where my evening was not so good. Frozen dinner (not unhealthy palak paneer, just 450 calories) and more, much more, chocolate. I wouldn't feel bad about the office candy, except I believe it contributed to the later poor choices by the post-sugar crash. I meditated late in the evening while lying in bed, managed to stay awake through the guided process. But sleep was disturbed and fragmented. At 3 am, ruminating fruitlessly on work challenges, I did another guided meditation focused on tuning in to the body and relaxing.

Snow delay today has given me time to write. Food plan today is heat up healthy vegetable fritatta, my meat and salad dressing with greens bought from the salad bar at work, and this time take an apple and nuts for the 4 pm crash. Gym appointment after work, across the street from Whole Foods, so food bar for dinner and to purchase tomorrow's lunch.

And MAKE THE TIME TO MEDITATE!  One minute counts, five is better, ten is better and my minimum goal.

3 comments:

KCF said...

Love this, Nan. The goals, the challenges, the discomfort of being out of your comfort zone, the pride and anxiety of being acknowledged as an expert, the nice holidays that don't always square up with wellness routines. I'm with you every step (except meditation. Such a believer, just can't take on right now...). Hope you find more snatches of time to keep us with you on your journey. much love xoxo

Alice Garbarini Hurley said...

Cruise? Cruise? Cruise? How was it? that sounds so lovely.........in admiration of your hard work and success, Alice

Liz said...

Congrats! You will do well because you are good, and you don’t have another agenda, so no one in particular should be gunning for you. Protein bars help me with late afternoon, and I have come to the same conclusion that I cannot waste morning time because it is indisputably my most productive.

Glad the holidays and cruise went well, and if you didn’t do much - then it was obviously time not to do much. Forcing myself doesn’t work as well as it used to. I am on to me and my tricks...

Keep on trucking! Llike Kim, I would love if you can check in.

Liz