I've shown how very self-disciplined I can be, for at least a short period of time. But now, I want to figure out how to eat for the rest of my life, without having to be that disciplined all the time. The end of my Whole 30 coincided unattractively with several binges, coupled with two long road trips that disrupted my physical ability to control my diet. Without rules, and confronted with limited unattractive choices, I ate much more than I intended, and often regretted it even while still shoveling it in.
I've revisited a couple of resources I've used before, notably The Foodist, by Darya Rose. This is the basic approach I would love to be able to say works for me: eat only awesome things, when you want, and never feel guilty about the choices you make. So while also listening to The Willpower Instinct, I'm trying to implement several of the things that Foodists are supposed to do. This is about behaviors, not specifically about what foods to eat and what not to eat. I'm trying to figure out what works - where my definition of "working" is keeping my weight no higher (and ideally about 8 pounds lower) than it is right now, without making my whole life be about this.
One key to not having to have an iron will is to create habits so good things just happen without much conscious effort. To have habits, it helps to have a routine, and with my changed reality (no resident kids, but a declining mother and a second dog) I haven't yet built a good routine. So I'm trying to do both at once - build a routine that will automatically create space for the healthy habits.
Another thing I'm doing is trying to be mindful. Because I've tracked my food for years, I figured I probably have a somewhat higher than average awareness of what I eat because I so often track. However, apparently studies show chronic dieters have a wider discrepancy between what they think they eat and what they actually eat than non-dieters, for a couple of reasons. First is dieters continually have good intentions about what to eat, and recall afterwards more of the intention than the actuality. Second is large portions are harder to estimate by looking at them - everybody underestimates the amount of food in a large helping. I'm probably no better than average, after all.
But the way I'm trying to be mindful now is qualitatively different than tracking. I'm trying to pause before choosing food and serving portions. I'm trying to assess with a gut check if I really want something. Where I get in trouble is just automatically eating without that check. I'm trying very hard to slow down while I eat. I'm finally trying the "chew 20 times" approach to eating, and when I do it, I eat less and feel more satisfied. Consciously savoring the food while biting and chewing is integral to this - and that tilts in favor of trying for the really awesome foods.
This is really hard for me to do. I mostly eat alone, and I'm pretty good about eating at a table. But I almost always read when I'm eating, and that means I'm off in another world while I eat. When I'm with other people, I'm focused on them. So I've found myself reminding myself to slow down, chew, and don't load the fork until I've swallowed as I sit down and pick up the fork, and realizing after the last bite I didn't pay attention to a single forkful, just shoveled it in while reading or talking. So I have maybe a 25% record of being mindful while eating for at least a portion of a meal. It's a start - because I actually think this is an effective technique that will work for me. I'm just not sure I'm willing to give up a 40-year habit of reading while eating to get there.
The thinking before eating is easier, except when I get too hungry or tired and haven't made an easy plan of what to eat (or when my plan no longer appeals, or feels too hard). I learned during the Whole 30 that I can manage my mornings to actually cook and organize food for the day, but week day evenings remain a huge hurdle. Now that Sadie (dog #2) has joined the household, mornings are a bit more complicated because she takes more management than Rocky, and Rocky is now jealous of my spending time with Sadie and more insistent he gets his time. But I can get this back under control. I did learn very very clearly that the single best thing to make my mornings good is to ensure the coffee pot is set on auto the night before. I sit and drink coffee while reading the news on the ipad. Now I'm trying to limit the ipad time - I would love to read the New York Times cover-to-cover each morning, after checking email and facebook and a couple of blogs, but I'm not letting myself do that. Trying, anyway. It helps that I really don't want to read any election news.
Other techniques: Cook. That is the single biggest thing I can do. Cook from scratch, and prepare almost everything I eat myself. That was the habit made by doing the Whole 30, and I keep trying to keep it going. For most practical purposes, that means devoting most of a weekend day to the kitchen, and as the weather is approaching my favorite kind of days, this feels like not the best tradeoff.
One thing that stuck in my mind from The Willpower Instinct is how most people expect they will have more time, fewer distractions, fewer pop up problems at some mythical time in the future, usually about two weeks from now. As I drifted off from writing this, I thought of cooking today, my plans for doing more cooking just a couple of weeks from now when my immediate issues will have been put to bed, and I won't have to run out to take care of.... things, but will be able to stay home and just cook. Sigh. Knowing I've just fallen into a trap doesn't necessarily tell me how to get out of it. Probably the answer is "just do it now". Start today.
On that note, I think I'll stop blogging and go do something. But I'll be back, probably in about two weeks when things calm down around here....
Sunday, September 18, 2016
Sunday, July 31, 2016
Quick Reveal
And the answer is...
Essentially flat, down on average less than a pound. But very stable. Too many other things to do this glorious morning to spend any more time on this.
Saturday, July 30, 2016
Day 30 of Whole 30
For all practical purposes I've made it. This week was not so organized and planned, but it worked out. So just today to get through - and if I want a drink (of alcohol) this evening, I'll just go ahead. There isn't anything official about this. I'm declaring victory as I sit here.
Tomorrow will be the big reveal on weight. I will have all of the past month's numbers to look at, so it doesn't matter if tomorrow morning happens to be a "high" day - I'll have the trend. But I've felt bloated on this diet, so I'm bracing myself for the possibility I've actually gained weight in the past month.
I've got other numbers and records to look at as well, to see how that has varied over the past month compared to before. I do a quick "body check" most mornings on my way in to work - recording how my various parts such as knees and back and head feel at that moment. My impression is not much has changed - my knee is based more on exercise than anything internal, and my headaches persist - but I'll actually look at the data to see if there is any change. Ditto with the sleep data the fitbit records. I don't feel like its been any different - but I'll check to be sure. I'll also look at overall activity levels recorded by the fitbit. A confounding factor in looking at these other areas is I know I fell off the supplemental vitamin bandwagon completely in the last month, so I changed more than one thing at a time, very poor experimental design. Life is messy, an opportunity lost, so sue me.
I wrote last week about my habits and my cravings. Still true. I have forcibly restrained and thus interrupted certain bad food habits. Subjectively, I still feel cravings and urges towards sweets, so I'm not sure I've tamed the sugar beast. I've used fruit - especially cherries - as a fairly satisfying alternative to feed that beast. In Atkins-world, sugar is sugar, and fruit is not encouraged for that reason. But the amount of sugar from even a binge on sweet watermelon is still less than a pint of premium ice cream, so I'll think about the viability of keeping a fruit sugar indulgence going as an diversion from actual sweets. This would require accepting that I need these indulgences, and having the discipline (once the rules are gone) to not just do both: put blueberries on top of my ice cream.
One odd effect from this diet changed something I didn't really care about changing. I love coffee. I am sufficiently addicted that I will get a headache if I don't have it. It's a bit of an obsession - my sailboat, for example, has at least 3 different ways to make coffee on board. One of the items in my travel kit is a few packets of Starbucks instant coffee for emergencies. I have been a 6-8 cup a day person (counting cups, that's 3-4 mugs a day) for years. I found, in the last month, I didn't want that much. After my first mug of coffee, I would pour the second, and find I wasn't drinking it. I'd fill my thermos with coffee for work and bring it home without touching it all day. I did have an after-lunch slump which drove me to Starbucks some afternoons (iced green tea, I'm not a fan of their coffee), but I had those afternoon slumps even with the coffee. I've never thought my caffeine consumption was a problem, so I wasn't trying to cut back. Perhaps eating a more substantial breakfast obviated the desire for the richness I get from my usually very good freshly ground coffee I make at home.
The big thing on this regime has been the planning, preparation, and cooking. I really have devoted quite a large amount of energy and time to this. I find, during the week, cooking in the evening is really a challenge, not something I want to do. I did do a little bit of weeknight dinner cooking, but mostly it was heating leftovers. On the other hand, I found cooking in the morning something I could work into the routine. I've got more time in the morning since we're now done (forever!) with the off-to-school scramble with the shot-clock counting down. I have been filling that time with surfing the news and social media on the ipad. I generally have more mental and physical energy in the morning - after that first mug of coffee has done its thing, at least. So not only did I put down the ipad and cook breakfasts, I even did some dinner prep in the mornings before work. And fixed my lunch to take with me. Every evening I would think through what the food would be the next day, and what I had to do. Sometimes, I would do a little prep after eating my leftovers and before going to bed, but not much. Something like moving food from the freezer to the fridge to defrost, or cleaning the kitchen, was about all I was up to. (Generally, I am content to let dishes sit on the counter overnight and clean up in the morning.)
Last night was the one night of the whole month that left me totally unprepared with no food in the house and no plan. (I had planned to go for run down on the mall after work but the temperature was hotter than forecast at 92 degrees so I blew it off.) I headed to Whole Foods and got stuff for dinner and today's breakfast - dinner was their roast chicken with guacamole and tomatoes so no cooking was required. I still haven't decided for sure on breakfast and lunch and dinner for today - the plan is to be at the boat, so I've got to do prep and get going.
Tomorrow, I'll have my big reveal and decide where I go from here. Stay tuned.
Tomorrow will be the big reveal on weight. I will have all of the past month's numbers to look at, so it doesn't matter if tomorrow morning happens to be a "high" day - I'll have the trend. But I've felt bloated on this diet, so I'm bracing myself for the possibility I've actually gained weight in the past month.
I've got other numbers and records to look at as well, to see how that has varied over the past month compared to before. I do a quick "body check" most mornings on my way in to work - recording how my various parts such as knees and back and head feel at that moment. My impression is not much has changed - my knee is based more on exercise than anything internal, and my headaches persist - but I'll actually look at the data to see if there is any change. Ditto with the sleep data the fitbit records. I don't feel like its been any different - but I'll check to be sure. I'll also look at overall activity levels recorded by the fitbit. A confounding factor in looking at these other areas is I know I fell off the supplemental vitamin bandwagon completely in the last month, so I changed more than one thing at a time, very poor experimental design. Life is messy, an opportunity lost, so sue me.
I wrote last week about my habits and my cravings. Still true. I have forcibly restrained and thus interrupted certain bad food habits. Subjectively, I still feel cravings and urges towards sweets, so I'm not sure I've tamed the sugar beast. I've used fruit - especially cherries - as a fairly satisfying alternative to feed that beast. In Atkins-world, sugar is sugar, and fruit is not encouraged for that reason. But the amount of sugar from even a binge on sweet watermelon is still less than a pint of premium ice cream, so I'll think about the viability of keeping a fruit sugar indulgence going as an diversion from actual sweets. This would require accepting that I need these indulgences, and having the discipline (once the rules are gone) to not just do both: put blueberries on top of my ice cream.
One odd effect from this diet changed something I didn't really care about changing. I love coffee. I am sufficiently addicted that I will get a headache if I don't have it. It's a bit of an obsession - my sailboat, for example, has at least 3 different ways to make coffee on board. One of the items in my travel kit is a few packets of Starbucks instant coffee for emergencies. I have been a 6-8 cup a day person (counting cups, that's 3-4 mugs a day) for years. I found, in the last month, I didn't want that much. After my first mug of coffee, I would pour the second, and find I wasn't drinking it. I'd fill my thermos with coffee for work and bring it home without touching it all day. I did have an after-lunch slump which drove me to Starbucks some afternoons (iced green tea, I'm not a fan of their coffee), but I had those afternoon slumps even with the coffee. I've never thought my caffeine consumption was a problem, so I wasn't trying to cut back. Perhaps eating a more substantial breakfast obviated the desire for the richness I get from my usually very good freshly ground coffee I make at home.
The big thing on this regime has been the planning, preparation, and cooking. I really have devoted quite a large amount of energy and time to this. I find, during the week, cooking in the evening is really a challenge, not something I want to do. I did do a little bit of weeknight dinner cooking, but mostly it was heating leftovers. On the other hand, I found cooking in the morning something I could work into the routine. I've got more time in the morning since we're now done (forever!) with the off-to-school scramble with the shot-clock counting down. I have been filling that time with surfing the news and social media on the ipad. I generally have more mental and physical energy in the morning - after that first mug of coffee has done its thing, at least. So not only did I put down the ipad and cook breakfasts, I even did some dinner prep in the mornings before work. And fixed my lunch to take with me. Every evening I would think through what the food would be the next day, and what I had to do. Sometimes, I would do a little prep after eating my leftovers and before going to bed, but not much. Something like moving food from the freezer to the fridge to defrost, or cleaning the kitchen, was about all I was up to. (Generally, I am content to let dishes sit on the counter overnight and clean up in the morning.)
Last night was the one night of the whole month that left me totally unprepared with no food in the house and no plan. (I had planned to go for run down on the mall after work but the temperature was hotter than forecast at 92 degrees so I blew it off.) I headed to Whole Foods and got stuff for dinner and today's breakfast - dinner was their roast chicken with guacamole and tomatoes so no cooking was required. I still haven't decided for sure on breakfast and lunch and dinner for today - the plan is to be at the boat, so I've got to do prep and get going.
Tomorrow, I'll have my big reveal and decide where I go from here. Stay tuned.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
The Whole 30 Homestretch
I've plugged along on the Whole 30. Now I'm weary of cooking, and bored with my choices. The Whole 30 guys basically say, when folks say they are bored, "You have not nearly exhausted the spectrum of allowed foods! Google some recipes! Go on Instagram! Get some inspiration!" The weariness is a bit harder to cope with, but I will probably just go ahead and clean my kitchen and get going.
What have I been eating? Breakfast, cooked at home, even before going to work. This is very unusual for me - eating in the car has been my thing. But almost every breakfast is some form of cooked vegetables (sauteed greens and onions, sauteed mushrooms and onions, sauteed spinach and mushrooms and onions...) and fried or scrambled eggs. I cook a batch of the veggies at once, then re-heat and fry the eggs before work. On weekends, I grill meat outside and then eat leftovers all week. Lunch at work is my grilled meat, cafeteria "fresh" greens and either my homemade salad dressing or their olive oil and vinegar splashed on top.
The only restaurant food I've eaten is Chipotle. I confess, I did not examine their ingredient lists on the web in detail because I made the decision I was going to eat there, and I didn't want to regret it. So a salad with lettuce, meat, tomatoes and guacamole I've done twice, when I had boxed myself in a corner and it was either that or not eat at all for hours. I've also bought some prepared foods from the food bars at Whole Foods, where I believe I can trust their ingredient lists. It is surprising to me how many of even their salad dressings and sauces list sugar or honey as an ingredient, which scratches it off my list.
Everything else I prepare at home, mostly from scratch. I usually do big batches, so there are leftovers. I've treated myself to a couple of new kitchen tools, one of my motivators. I love gadgets, and I figure reducing barriers to cooking will result in eating well. So I have a new spiralizer, and a lemon squeezer. Since its zucchini season, lots of uses for the adjustable spiralizer. I strive for awesome in eating, but frankly that is a lot of work.
I very much miss dairy, cheese and butter and creme fraiche. In an effort to get that rich smooth mouth-feel, I tried to make mayonnaise this week. I was using the hand blender, and it was going well and then suddenly broke. I've never had a mayonnaise break before, but it was a mess and a couple of efforts to salvage it failed. I'm going to try again, maybe in the food processor, which I've always used before. While missing butter, I have been cooking with olive oil and coconut oil, but I also bought a tub of (organic) lard, which I like for sauteed greens for breakfast.
I miss sweets, of course. I have been using fruit as my treat. After over-indulging in fruit at first, I'm keeping it down to two servings a day. Peaches are great, and also cherries. Those are like candy to me, with my taste buds probably more sensitive to sweet than before. Even though apples are not yet in season locally, a very special treat is to slice an apple (I have a 12-slice gadget that works really well) and dip the slices in almond butter. One amusing thing we're told to expect on the Whole 30 is to dream of food - and I did! I woke up one morning remember some creamy chocolate delight, and some disappointment with myself that I went off plan. It was a relief to realize it was not real, and no need to feel guilty.
I miss alcohol! I love the taste of beer. I like fancy cocktails. I like the way they make me feel. I'm a one drink a night kind of person, but I really enjoy it. Sparkling water with a wedge of lime is cute, but doesn't do the trick.
I think I can buck up, get busy, and cook enough this weekend to carry my through next Saturday, just to see this through. Frankly, I'm not finding fabulous results and outcomes so far. I'm not looking at my weight (though its hard to avoid all numbers, as my internet-connected scale propagates that number through different apps, such as my fitbit. I had to manually go and break a bunch of links to keep it from myself.) It's clear from the way my pants fit I'm not losing huge amounts of weight, which of course I secretly hoped for. It will be interesting to also look at body composition and see if my fat percent has changed any. I can track my blood sugar at home, and it is roughly the same - I've been on-and-off again in the "pre-diabetic" range, one of the reasons I eat low carb. I don't have a blood pressure problem and so no change there. My energy is fine - though I spend more of it focused on food. I am back at the gym and also running, after slacking off through my vacation and its aftermath. Other aches and pains seem unchanged.
So why bother with one more week? There are two stated goals of the Whole 30: detox from all kinds of potential food sensitivities, and change food habits. I don't think I have the kinds of food sensitivities they are talking about, so the detox is not something I needed, so no surprise I'm not seeing an effect. But the habit thing is working. I really was on a sweet-tooth kick before vacation. I had ice cream nearly every day, and we're not talking a single tiny exquisite scoop, either. Clearly I've stepped away from that. I have subbed fruit and nuts, though I haven't broken the concept of my evening sweet treat as a necessary thing. I'm cooking more, and eating better. In particular, I was on a real food truck habit for work lunches, and the off-limits aspect has helped. But the greens from the salad bar at work are not very good, and splashed on poor quality olive oil and red wine vinegar is bland, so I may need to up my game on the lunch front this week. I can make salad dressing at home, and acquire some better greens to use (though I can't buy in advance for the whole week).
One last note - my Foodist friend, Darya Rose, observes that food is better in San Francisco than New York City, which she attributes to better ingredients. In New York, fancy cooking takes center stage instead. It probably means it would be worth it for me to keep a farmer's market habit.
What have I been eating? Breakfast, cooked at home, even before going to work. This is very unusual for me - eating in the car has been my thing. But almost every breakfast is some form of cooked vegetables (sauteed greens and onions, sauteed mushrooms and onions, sauteed spinach and mushrooms and onions...) and fried or scrambled eggs. I cook a batch of the veggies at once, then re-heat and fry the eggs before work. On weekends, I grill meat outside and then eat leftovers all week. Lunch at work is my grilled meat, cafeteria "fresh" greens and either my homemade salad dressing or their olive oil and vinegar splashed on top.
The only restaurant food I've eaten is Chipotle. I confess, I did not examine their ingredient lists on the web in detail because I made the decision I was going to eat there, and I didn't want to regret it. So a salad with lettuce, meat, tomatoes and guacamole I've done twice, when I had boxed myself in a corner and it was either that or not eat at all for hours. I've also bought some prepared foods from the food bars at Whole Foods, where I believe I can trust their ingredient lists. It is surprising to me how many of even their salad dressings and sauces list sugar or honey as an ingredient, which scratches it off my list.
Everything else I prepare at home, mostly from scratch. I usually do big batches, so there are leftovers. I've treated myself to a couple of new kitchen tools, one of my motivators. I love gadgets, and I figure reducing barriers to cooking will result in eating well. So I have a new spiralizer, and a lemon squeezer. Since its zucchini season, lots of uses for the adjustable spiralizer. I strive for awesome in eating, but frankly that is a lot of work.I very much miss dairy, cheese and butter and creme fraiche. In an effort to get that rich smooth mouth-feel, I tried to make mayonnaise this week. I was using the hand blender, and it was going well and then suddenly broke. I've never had a mayonnaise break before, but it was a mess and a couple of efforts to salvage it failed. I'm going to try again, maybe in the food processor, which I've always used before. While missing butter, I have been cooking with olive oil and coconut oil, but I also bought a tub of (organic) lard, which I like for sauteed greens for breakfast.
I miss sweets, of course. I have been using fruit as my treat. After over-indulging in fruit at first, I'm keeping it down to two servings a day. Peaches are great, and also cherries. Those are like candy to me, with my taste buds probably more sensitive to sweet than before. Even though apples are not yet in season locally, a very special treat is to slice an apple (I have a 12-slice gadget that works really well) and dip the slices in almond butter. One amusing thing we're told to expect on the Whole 30 is to dream of food - and I did! I woke up one morning remember some creamy chocolate delight, and some disappointment with myself that I went off plan. It was a relief to realize it was not real, and no need to feel guilty.
I miss alcohol! I love the taste of beer. I like fancy cocktails. I like the way they make me feel. I'm a one drink a night kind of person, but I really enjoy it. Sparkling water with a wedge of lime is cute, but doesn't do the trick.
 |
| I turned my fridge into a white board. It helps to remind myself what is there. |
I think I can buck up, get busy, and cook enough this weekend to carry my through next Saturday, just to see this through. Frankly, I'm not finding fabulous results and outcomes so far. I'm not looking at my weight (though its hard to avoid all numbers, as my internet-connected scale propagates that number through different apps, such as my fitbit. I had to manually go and break a bunch of links to keep it from myself.) It's clear from the way my pants fit I'm not losing huge amounts of weight, which of course I secretly hoped for. It will be interesting to also look at body composition and see if my fat percent has changed any. I can track my blood sugar at home, and it is roughly the same - I've been on-and-off again in the "pre-diabetic" range, one of the reasons I eat low carb. I don't have a blood pressure problem and so no change there. My energy is fine - though I spend more of it focused on food. I am back at the gym and also running, after slacking off through my vacation and its aftermath. Other aches and pains seem unchanged.
So why bother with one more week? There are two stated goals of the Whole 30: detox from all kinds of potential food sensitivities, and change food habits. I don't think I have the kinds of food sensitivities they are talking about, so the detox is not something I needed, so no surprise I'm not seeing an effect. But the habit thing is working. I really was on a sweet-tooth kick before vacation. I had ice cream nearly every day, and we're not talking a single tiny exquisite scoop, either. Clearly I've stepped away from that. I have subbed fruit and nuts, though I haven't broken the concept of my evening sweet treat as a necessary thing. I'm cooking more, and eating better. In particular, I was on a real food truck habit for work lunches, and the off-limits aspect has helped. But the greens from the salad bar at work are not very good, and splashed on poor quality olive oil and red wine vinegar is bland, so I may need to up my game on the lunch front this week. I can make salad dressing at home, and acquire some better greens to use (though I can't buy in advance for the whole week).
One last note - my Foodist friend, Darya Rose, observes that food is better in San Francisco than New York City, which she attributes to better ingredients. In New York, fancy cooking takes center stage instead. It probably means it would be worth it for me to keep a farmer's market habit.
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
NY Times explains DIY Diet Buddy
Combined support with semi-anonymity. Plus Instagram.
(I need to double check link works)
Sunday, July 10, 2016
Shopping with a List
My list for the farmer's market: zucchini and peaches. I bought: zucchini, peaches, eggplant, swiss chard.
My list for Whole Foods: apples and steak. I bought: apples, steak, hamburgers, ground lamb, ground pork, cherries, guacamole, lemon juice, lime juice, onions, sweet potatoes, dinner rolls, walnuts, and lunch. At least this saved another trip the next day.
This is day 11 of 30 on the Whole 30. According to the Whole 30 folks, most folks who drop out do so on day 11 or 12. I think I'm set for today, but I need to be sure I've got the work week covered properly.
My list for Whole Foods: apples and steak. I bought: apples, steak, hamburgers, ground lamb, ground pork, cherries, guacamole, lemon juice, lime juice, onions, sweet potatoes, dinner rolls, walnuts, and lunch. At least this saved another trip the next day.
This is day 11 of 30 on the Whole 30. According to the Whole 30 folks, most folks who drop out do so on day 11 or 12. I think I'm set for today, but I need to be sure I've got the work week covered properly.
Monday, July 4, 2016
The Past and the Future
Since I technically (for about 3 days) made my goal weight last year, I've been contemplating what I want to do now. How do I want to eat for the rest of my life? How much do I care about my weight? I've got a whole parallel running internal dialogue on fitness and activity, but for this post I'm mostly focused on food, eating, and weight.
Partly why I'm doing the Whole 30 is to try out a different way of eating. Because it is for a short period, it's possible to really think about what I'm eating and how it makes me feel. It's very similar to the way I have been trying to eat for the past many years, but with some differences. It's easiest to describe by what not to eat: no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no added sugar or any form of sweeteners, no alcohol. What's left are meat, fish, eggs, vegetables (including root vegetables like sweet and white potatoes), fruit, and nuts. For the thirty days, no using these ingredients creatively to try to re-create treats - no baking with almond flour - because the diet tries to do two things: detox your body, and break eating habits while creating a new cooking habit. Pretty close to every packaged food will have something not allowed - even my low-carb bottled salad dressings which have zero carbs per serving have some form of sugar as an added ingredient on the label, and thus are not allowed. Cooking is the only possible way through. Luckily, it's summer, and vegetables and fruit are good and plentiful.
So I'm doing this, for a month, and then I'll add stuff back. I don't believe I have any actual food allergies nor even intolerances - no problems with gluten or lactose. But this diet will help me know it for sure, when I add things back. (I do have a health challenge of bizarre migraines, and perhaps there is a relationship to food. This restricted diet should help figure it out.) My idealized diet I've conceptualized would include dairy, for richness, and legumes, for more plant-based proteins. I like meat, but I think the environmental toll of meat production, and animal welfare issues, mean I should eat less meat, if I can do so healthfully. And by healthfully, I mean without gaining weight. The ideal diet would also include ice cream, alcohol, and chocolate, but in small exquisitely perfect tiny portions. I haven't shown I'm able to do restrain myself that way, yet.
So far, I feel like I'm eating a lot, including a lot of fruit, and I'm getting the hunger pangs that I think sugar (even fruit sugar) drives. So I may moderate the fruit a bit. In addition, I've been eating sweet potatoes, something I haven't done much of ever. I quite like them. I've been afraid to eat white potatoes.
Let's put some historical perspective on where my weight is now, six months after seeing my goal. First the long view.
I consider anything below the red line to be a victory. I've shown I can keep from doing the big rebound - but only if I pay attention. We can zoom in on the story since I started focusing on this, and blogging about it, in 2010.
One single big loss, and relatively stable weight with an intermittent focus for a few years, then a big push to get down to the blue goal. But last year and this year definitely tell the classic weight loss rebound story.
People who say "diets don't work" would crow at seeing this classic rebound. I think the longer history and context gives that point the lie - I have spent many years lower than my top weight. And my current weight is far from stable - in the last seven days alone, it has varied by five whole pounds. I don't think my blue-line goal is actually realistic for me to maintain - I think I'd need to work too hard, more than I am willing to work. I've set a goal at 140 pounds, ten pounds below the red line and five pounds below today. I have found there is a difference in how I look and feel at that weight versus how I was at the red line, enough of a difference for my vanity to want that improvement. My theory is I can actively manage myself down to that weight and stay there for a while, and eventually my body will realize it likes it and homeostasis will kick in and keep me there.
The Whole 30 goals do not include weight loss, though they say most people do lose weight during the thirty days. They are so adament on the point that it's not about weight loss that the rules include a veto on weighing yourself during the period. I have a problem with not collecting data, but I concede the point about not focusing on it. Since I have a wi-fi scale that automatically records my weight, I've decided to step on it every day, but block my view of the number. The history will be there waiting for me when the thirty days are up. I don't have huge expectations - the decrease in sugar is likely to result in water loss, but so far I'm eating so much sweet fruit I might not even see that. But of course I have hopes for a big reduction.
The working week resumes tomorrow, with a bunch of stressors to be added to tending to my three patients. I've got a fridge full of compliant leftovers, because cooking is not something I generally do during the week. Blogging is also likely to suffer. I am taking pictures of my meals, often, so there may be some food porn posted here, just as record keeping.
I long for a bit of routine, which the coming week should bring.
Partly why I'm doing the Whole 30 is to try out a different way of eating. Because it is for a short period, it's possible to really think about what I'm eating and how it makes me feel. It's very similar to the way I have been trying to eat for the past many years, but with some differences. It's easiest to describe by what not to eat: no grains, no dairy, no legumes, no added sugar or any form of sweeteners, no alcohol. What's left are meat, fish, eggs, vegetables (including root vegetables like sweet and white potatoes), fruit, and nuts. For the thirty days, no using these ingredients creatively to try to re-create treats - no baking with almond flour - because the diet tries to do two things: detox your body, and break eating habits while creating a new cooking habit. Pretty close to every packaged food will have something not allowed - even my low-carb bottled salad dressings which have zero carbs per serving have some form of sugar as an added ingredient on the label, and thus are not allowed. Cooking is the only possible way through. Luckily, it's summer, and vegetables and fruit are good and plentiful.
So I'm doing this, for a month, and then I'll add stuff back. I don't believe I have any actual food allergies nor even intolerances - no problems with gluten or lactose. But this diet will help me know it for sure, when I add things back. (I do have a health challenge of bizarre migraines, and perhaps there is a relationship to food. This restricted diet should help figure it out.) My idealized diet I've conceptualized would include dairy, for richness, and legumes, for more plant-based proteins. I like meat, but I think the environmental toll of meat production, and animal welfare issues, mean I should eat less meat, if I can do so healthfully. And by healthfully, I mean without gaining weight. The ideal diet would also include ice cream, alcohol, and chocolate, but in small exquisitely perfect tiny portions. I haven't shown I'm able to do restrain myself that way, yet.
So far, I feel like I'm eating a lot, including a lot of fruit, and I'm getting the hunger pangs that I think sugar (even fruit sugar) drives. So I may moderate the fruit a bit. In addition, I've been eating sweet potatoes, something I haven't done much of ever. I quite like them. I've been afraid to eat white potatoes.
Let's put some historical perspective on where my weight is now, six months after seeing my goal. First the long view.
One single big loss, and relatively stable weight with an intermittent focus for a few years, then a big push to get down to the blue goal. But last year and this year definitely tell the classic weight loss rebound story.
People who say "diets don't work" would crow at seeing this classic rebound. I think the longer history and context gives that point the lie - I have spent many years lower than my top weight. And my current weight is far from stable - in the last seven days alone, it has varied by five whole pounds. I don't think my blue-line goal is actually realistic for me to maintain - I think I'd need to work too hard, more than I am willing to work. I've set a goal at 140 pounds, ten pounds below the red line and five pounds below today. I have found there is a difference in how I look and feel at that weight versus how I was at the red line, enough of a difference for my vanity to want that improvement. My theory is I can actively manage myself down to that weight and stay there for a while, and eventually my body will realize it likes it and homeostasis will kick in and keep me there.
The Whole 30 goals do not include weight loss, though they say most people do lose weight during the thirty days. They are so adament on the point that it's not about weight loss that the rules include a veto on weighing yourself during the period. I have a problem with not collecting data, but I concede the point about not focusing on it. Since I have a wi-fi scale that automatically records my weight, I've decided to step on it every day, but block my view of the number. The history will be there waiting for me when the thirty days are up. I don't have huge expectations - the decrease in sugar is likely to result in water loss, but so far I'm eating so much sweet fruit I might not even see that. But of course I have hopes for a big reduction.
 |
| A 3x5 card over the numbers is enough to block my view. |
The working week resumes tomorrow, with a bunch of stressors to be added to tending to my three patients. I've got a fridge full of compliant leftovers, because cooking is not something I generally do during the week. Blogging is also likely to suffer. I am taking pictures of my meals, often, so there may be some food porn posted here, just as record keeping.
I long for a bit of routine, which the coming week should bring.
Saturday, July 2, 2016
Twenty-eight more to go
Just a quick boring log of Day Two.
Up early with a restless dog. Chicken sausages with blueberries for breakfast, then a nice run in Bethesda - just over three miles. Very slow intervals. I had a migraine after running, while going to the farmers market, where I got peaches and small cabbages. Very hungry for lunch - leftovers from yesterday, chicken with zuchini, more blueberries. A longer dog walk, then off to see my mother.
Starving when I came home, so snack of almonds and blueberries, inadvertently shared with the dog. Still hungry, so more leftovers - steak and sweet potatoes in coconut cream. I simply could not stay awake, dozing on the couch during the final Prairie Home Companion. But the craving, the urge, for a sweet dessert was very strong. Then another dog walk, and a bedtime snack of peaches and blueberries.
Going to read, and lights out soon. Feeling full, and like the fruit was a sweet.
Up early with a restless dog. Chicken sausages with blueberries for breakfast, then a nice run in Bethesda - just over three miles. Very slow intervals. I had a migraine after running, while going to the farmers market, where I got peaches and small cabbages. Very hungry for lunch - leftovers from yesterday, chicken with zuchini, more blueberries. A longer dog walk, then off to see my mother.
Starving when I came home, so snack of almonds and blueberries, inadvertently shared with the dog. Still hungry, so more leftovers - steak and sweet potatoes in coconut cream. I simply could not stay awake, dozing on the couch during the final Prairie Home Companion. But the craving, the urge, for a sweet dessert was very strong. Then another dog walk, and a bedtime snack of peaches and blueberries.
Going to read, and lights out soon. Feeling full, and like the fruit was a sweet.
Friday, July 1, 2016
July = Whole30?
Today could be the first day of my Whole30. I have not got a firm commitment in my mind, and think I'm jumping the gun on my other family members who were thinking of it. But today was compliant, so maybe I should go for it. I don't have a firm plan, but its similar enough to how I eat (or how I think I eat, not the same thing) that I should be able to jump into it.
I've been really wracked by sugar demons. At an out-of-town conference, I hit up the plentiful snacks pretty often. But I knew as I took the food, and felt as I reached for more, it was making me feel like crap. Still I reached for it. I gave myself some minimal kudos for making the strong connection to the crappy feeling. It wasn't enough to deter from the immediate gratification of the chocolate chunk cookie, but maybe next time.
The Whole30 book I just read said cravings only last for 3-4 minutes so you only need to distract yourself. This is not my experience. Ice cream is my biggest craving. I will spend quite some time - make a special cross-town trip-- to satisfy my ice cream craving. Last night after seeing my mother I stopped at a very convenient and very good frozen yogurt place, and really enjoyed it.
But I'm Whole30 now, and so there is no question I will not stop again this month.
Breakfast was chicken sausage with guacamole and salsa from Whole Foods. Lunch was grilled (by me) chicken from the freezer with sauteed onions and zuchini. Dinner was a rib eye steak, accompanied by sweet potatoes cooked in coconut milk with a hint of cumin and a squeeze of lime. Dairy in all its forms is off the menu, but that coconut milk sauce was really creamy.
I was really tired, but decided I needed to have left overs to make it through tomorrow.
I've been really wracked by sugar demons. At an out-of-town conference, I hit up the plentiful snacks pretty often. But I knew as I took the food, and felt as I reached for more, it was making me feel like crap. Still I reached for it. I gave myself some minimal kudos for making the strong connection to the crappy feeling. It wasn't enough to deter from the immediate gratification of the chocolate chunk cookie, but maybe next time.
The Whole30 book I just read said cravings only last for 3-4 minutes so you only need to distract yourself. This is not my experience. Ice cream is my biggest craving. I will spend quite some time - make a special cross-town trip-- to satisfy my ice cream craving. Last night after seeing my mother I stopped at a very convenient and very good frozen yogurt place, and really enjoyed it.
But I'm Whole30 now, and so there is no question I will not stop again this month.
Breakfast was chicken sausage with guacamole and salsa from Whole Foods. Lunch was grilled (by me) chicken from the freezer with sauteed onions and zuchini. Dinner was a rib eye steak, accompanied by sweet potatoes cooked in coconut milk with a hint of cumin and a squeeze of lime. Dairy in all its forms is off the menu, but that coconut milk sauce was really creamy.
I was really tired, but decided I needed to have left overs to make it through tomorrow.
Tuesday, June 28, 2016
Practicing Whole30
I'm seriously contemplating doing the Whole30 challenge, especially if I can do it with family members. It's basically the same thing as Paleo, but without the pseudo-science of trying to eat as out ancestors may or may not have eaten. Instead, the focus is on eliminating whole spectrums of potentially irritating foods- but only for 30 days. It's all about proteins and especially vegetables, mostly cooks at home from fresh ingredients (so you actually know what you are eating).
I may start it up in July. It will be hard to eliminate dairy, which for me is a big source of richness. As I think about how I want to eat for the rest of my life, I also think I want to eat more legumes, and less meat.
So I've been reading labels, big time. Cooking from scratch is truly the only way to control things. I went to farmers market on Saturday last and overbought. I was too busy and too tired to do as much cooking as I had hoped. But I did roast a couple of bunches of radishes, and steamed a big bowl of broccoli. So this morning I sautéed an onion, and tossed in the pre-roasted radishes. I put that on the plate, then tossed in the broccoli to heat it up, and added that to the plate. Lastly, in the same unwashed skillet, I fried a couple of eggs. This was actually more food than I could eat at once, but I knew I'd be away and otherwise I'd just be throwing it out.
This breakfast (and especially the photo) are an homage to Team_Sherwood on Instagram.
Sunday, June 26, 2016
The Cruise
This may have been the voyage from hell, but only if hell is sweet, soft, boozy, and has really good food.
My extended family signed up for a twelve-day big cruise to the Baltic. We love cruising, and like to have many family members there. We don't need to spend all our time together, but we interact enough to keep things interesting. My brother and sister-in-law, two of the kids, my brother-in-law, and my mother came along.
Sadly, the second night out, I woke to my mother crying "Help! Help!". She had fallen as she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, and hurt herself badly. There was blood, and she couldn't get up. The emergency services and medical center on the ship were quick and efficient, but she was (is) still hurt. They patched her up (the cuts not bad) and took xrays of her back and knee. She hurt her back badly, but nothing showed as broken on the xrays. For the rest of the voyage, she needed a wheel chair, to have someone with her at all hours, and intimate assistance with hygine. Of course, the family helped me, but all the intimate care (and night time interruptions) was mine. Due to her failure to get any better in her back, the ship's doctor sent us to an emergency room in Stockholm, where we spent a sleepless night waiting for xrays, which also confirmed nothing was broken. That day was the only viable opportunity to leave the trip early, but my mother refused to go ("I don't want to ruin your vacation" "You are spending all your time shrieking or whimpering in pain and I'm spending all my time mopping up your urine - I'm sorry but you already have!"). With my utter exhaustion, I wasn't capable of making arrangements in the face of her obstinancy.
The trip home several days later was awful, watching her grey face as she simply endured, though I upgraded her to business class (which then was bumped for no more money all the way to first class with a lay-flat bed and a more private rest room). I skipped going to my house, got her to bed in her apartment, and slept on the floor in the next room. I arranged for my nephew to pick up my dogs, one of whom had major emergency surgery the day before we left and would need his stitches removed soon. We were able to see her doctor in her continuing care community first thing the next morning (and they had wheelchairs to borrow to get her there). She was admitted to the short-term rehap nursing home they have there later that afternoon, where finally someone else took responsibility for her. I slept like a log for ten hours. I was supposed to climb back on an airplane and take my youngest out to the midwest for freshman orientation, but her father stepped up and did that.
My mother had a lengthy MRI on Friday, and we'll go see the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to see if there is anything operable or some way to fix the pain. This means I'm not going back to work as scheduled, another bit of anxiety.
How about this: I spent twelve days on a cruise ship, for the most part ate everything I wanted to eat, drank not a little alcohol, and gained not a single pound. Nothing, nada, same as when I left.
How did this happen? It seemed to me I was eating a lot of desserts and drinking quite a bit. But I did really pay attention to what I ate and drank. I thought carefully every time before eating or drinking, "do I really want this?". It was balanced with what I had already had, and what I would be planning to have later that day. I ate things I do not normally eat - bread and pasta - but not all the time and not as if it didn't matter. I did not feel bad about leaving food on my plate if I didn't like it (rare) or I felt full. I never felt deprived. A couple of times I felt bad from eating too much, and that helped make future decisions easier. For reasons of hygine, everything is served to you on a dish (no scooping your own stuff from a hot table) so there was automatic portion control, always a problem for me.
So I'm not suddenly a super ninja intuitive eater. I got home and ate a giant helping of the only sweet thing in my cupboard - all there was. When I left on the cruise, I was up about ten pounds from my goal weight I was at in early December. Given the trend, I really expected to have gained weight. I've been evaluating my goals, and trying to decide how I'm going to eat for the rest of my life.
Another thing I did on the ship was use the fitness center. Three times (ok, not a lot in 12 days but something) I went and ran on the treadmill, then stretched and worked with weights. The running really really helped calm me down, and the weights and stretching made me feel good. How nice to be doing what is good for me, and it feels good.
When I could step away from my mother, there were definite highlights on the cruise. We had a lovely day trip to Berlin - a city I had never seen. And the small city of Talinn in Estonia is very cute. Perhaps my favorite moment was sitting in the square drinking pear cider with my nephew and my sister-in-law.
I had a full day ashore in St. Petersburg, touring Catherine's Palace and a whirlwind through L'Hermitage. In Gotenburg (Sweden) there was a fun kayaking trip through the harbor and around the medieval city, using the old moat-turned-canal. And in Kiel, Germany, there was a tall ship event going on, so watching the harbor traffic from the deck was very fun.
Here's to the sandwich generation: college orientation went well, and the prospect of the empty nest is more appealing than not. But new responsibilities at the other end of the spectrum will tie me close to home for a while.
I am probably going to try the Whole30 food experiment in July, with my brother and sister-in-law. So more to come, as things evolve with my mother and with me.
My extended family signed up for a twelve-day big cruise to the Baltic. We love cruising, and like to have many family members there. We don't need to spend all our time together, but we interact enough to keep things interesting. My brother and sister-in-law, two of the kids, my brother-in-law, and my mother came along.
Sadly, the second night out, I woke to my mother crying "Help! Help!". She had fallen as she got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, and hurt herself badly. There was blood, and she couldn't get up. The emergency services and medical center on the ship were quick and efficient, but she was (is) still hurt. They patched her up (the cuts not bad) and took xrays of her back and knee. She hurt her back badly, but nothing showed as broken on the xrays. For the rest of the voyage, she needed a wheel chair, to have someone with her at all hours, and intimate assistance with hygine. Of course, the family helped me, but all the intimate care (and night time interruptions) was mine. Due to her failure to get any better in her back, the ship's doctor sent us to an emergency room in Stockholm, where we spent a sleepless night waiting for xrays, which also confirmed nothing was broken. That day was the only viable opportunity to leave the trip early, but my mother refused to go ("I don't want to ruin your vacation" "You are spending all your time shrieking or whimpering in pain and I'm spending all my time mopping up your urine - I'm sorry but you already have!"). With my utter exhaustion, I wasn't capable of making arrangements in the face of her obstinancy.
The trip home several days later was awful, watching her grey face as she simply endured, though I upgraded her to business class (which then was bumped for no more money all the way to first class with a lay-flat bed and a more private rest room). I skipped going to my house, got her to bed in her apartment, and slept on the floor in the next room. I arranged for my nephew to pick up my dogs, one of whom had major emergency surgery the day before we left and would need his stitches removed soon. We were able to see her doctor in her continuing care community first thing the next morning (and they had wheelchairs to borrow to get her there). She was admitted to the short-term rehap nursing home they have there later that afternoon, where finally someone else took responsibility for her. I slept like a log for ten hours. I was supposed to climb back on an airplane and take my youngest out to the midwest for freshman orientation, but her father stepped up and did that.
My mother had a lengthy MRI on Friday, and we'll go see the orthopedic surgeon on Monday to see if there is anything operable or some way to fix the pain. This means I'm not going back to work as scheduled, another bit of anxiety.
So aside from that, Mrs. Lincoln, how did it go?
How did this happen? It seemed to me I was eating a lot of desserts and drinking quite a bit. But I did really pay attention to what I ate and drank. I thought carefully every time before eating or drinking, "do I really want this?". It was balanced with what I had already had, and what I would be planning to have later that day. I ate things I do not normally eat - bread and pasta - but not all the time and not as if it didn't matter. I did not feel bad about leaving food on my plate if I didn't like it (rare) or I felt full. I never felt deprived. A couple of times I felt bad from eating too much, and that helped make future decisions easier. For reasons of hygine, everything is served to you on a dish (no scooping your own stuff from a hot table) so there was automatic portion control, always a problem for me.
 |
| Mixology Class |
When I could step away from my mother, there were definite highlights on the cruise. We had a lovely day trip to Berlin - a city I had never seen. And the small city of Talinn in Estonia is very cute. Perhaps my favorite moment was sitting in the square drinking pear cider with my nephew and my sister-in-law.
I had a full day ashore in St. Petersburg, touring Catherine's Palace and a whirlwind through L'Hermitage. In Gotenburg (Sweden) there was a fun kayaking trip through the harbor and around the medieval city, using the old moat-turned-canal. And in Kiel, Germany, there was a tall ship event going on, so watching the harbor traffic from the deck was very fun.
Here's to the sandwich generation: college orientation went well, and the prospect of the empty nest is more appealing than not. But new responsibilities at the other end of the spectrum will tie me close to home for a while.
I am probably going to try the Whole30 food experiment in July, with my brother and sister-in-law. So more to come, as things evolve with my mother and with me.
Saturday, April 2, 2016
Moderation in Nothing
Many things to say on the topic in the title but very quick post before I am distracted.
I love running!
Just back from short slow run to my music in the cool drizzle. From the first moment I was jazzed, even though it's been a week since I last ran. My motivation is I'm a month out from my local 5K- the one I walk to-my first one ever.
It felt very good the whole time, which included walk breaks. I strutted back up the hill to my house. I want to capture this feeling and send it my way when I'm huddled on the couch.
Saturday, February 20, 2016
My Fancy Running Watch
I treated myself to a fancy new running watch before Christmas. It's a Garmin 630, and it is very cool.
This is a smart watch, meaning it talks to my iPhone. Actually, mostly it listens to my iphone, receiving texts, notifications, weather, and a few other stats. But mostly it doesn't go back the other way - it doesn't send messages, except for uploading my activity information to the phone. Also, I believe I can control my phone's music from the watch, though I haven't actually tried it. (That's because the version of music I have on my phone presents a screen telling me to do a free trial of Apple's streaming service and there is no way to move off that screen without signing up. So I'm not using the music on my phone.)
I can download apps, some free and some paid, that could add some more features. So far, I've experimented with different watch faces (I like to see moving watch hands, not a digital read-out).
It's a great running watch. What makes it a running watch is the built-in GPS. I wear a chest-strap heart rate monitor (and I had to upgrade to the newest one to use with this watch), it it's so smart it does a bunch of running dynamics - more than you could ever want to know about how you move when you run. It does stride length, steps per second, how high I bounce, how left/right symmetrical I am, how long each foot stays on the ground. It can measure stress through heart rate variability. It prescribes a recovery time after every run. It reports your maximum oxygen uptake rate and your lactate threshold, both of which can be improved through training.
The watch is also a daily activity tracker, counting steps, attempting to calculate total calorie burn, and measuring sleep.
I love data, and what is more interesting than data about me? So obviously I love this stuff. But, it's not all that accessible. The numbers are reported out on the watch, and with poking and swiping and pushing of buttons everything can be found, but it's not that easy. There is an iphone app that shows daily stats and more detailed stats about specific timed runs. The app is pretty, but I'm not wild for it. There is also a computer dashboard. I love the analysis of the runs. The trend information is less interesting.
Garmin world, like Fitbit world, allows you to make connections and do challenges and see how others are doing. But it doesn't seem as cool as fitbit, the way you interact with friends. I don't have any actual friends on Garmin, so perhaps that's part of the problem.
I'm still wearing my fitbit, and they are coming out with a smart watch version soon. Garmin has a gajillion activity trackers, including some cool looking ones. I won't abandon fitbit, for one main reason: There is no good data export on the Garmin for activity tracking. They have improved the export from two years ago, but you can't get daily data for more than a week at a time. The data comes out labeled "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday..." so if you do several weeks repetitively, you end up with a bunch of identical spreadsheets with no identifying marks. I want to be able to review and summarize my data, and daily totals is the minimum level of detail that I want, and Garmin just doesn't make it easy. Fitbit is much better, exporting several variables for wider date ranges, and well labelled.
BTW, the crystal on the Garmin cracked, for no apparent reason. I assume it will be covered by warranty, but I've not heard back from customer support yet.
Toys! It's part of my motivation to get me off the couch. Whatever works.
Oh Hi
No big deal, just been living life. Oh, and was not able to lose the five (plus) pounds I gained over the holidays. And, as long as I'm reporting, I've been a slug on the couch, barely moving even by my standards.
Not ready to write about my terrible evening binges. So I'll write about my favorite gadgets instead.
Not ready to write about my terrible evening binges. So I'll write about my favorite gadgets instead.
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