My Timeline, So Far

There is much advice about keeping journals and other ways to keep track of this truly global crisis. This blog is one of the ways I’m keeping track. I realize that some things are already merging back into distant memory. I thought I’d go back to my beginnings, and track how my awareness, understanding, and life have changed.

I suppose I first heard about this in January, like most reasonably well-informed persons. But I look at what I did in February, re-read my posts here from then, and there didn’t seem to be a realization of what was coming. I went to a retreat in Utah, sharing AirBnB condos with twenty women. I went on a weekend to Brooklyn, sharing a bed with a close friend and starting March with fabulous Brooklyn bagels.

My normal life involved a lot of staying home anyway. I’m looking at my calendar for March, trying to reconstruct my mindset. When was awareness dawning?

Certainly by the first week of March handwashing was on my mind. I went to meet the accountant I’ve hired for this year’s taxes, which was unnecessary but that didn’t sink in. I saw my dermatologist, and was very conscious of hygiene.

The second week of March, awareness began to sink in, but I was more into bravado than I should have been. I went to the gym twice, hyper aware about handwashing and not touching my face, but going anyway. I had a day shopping, with a blog post about how things were empty. I wrote, “except for not touching my face and washing my hands, I’m not going to modify my behavior much”. (TWO WEEKS AGO, PEOPLE!). I bought things for my upcoming trip to visit my brother. On Wednesday, March 11, I got my hair colored, and talked (as I do) to the very intelligent man who has been doing my hair for ten years now. He had gotten the “flatten the curve” message, and communicated it very well to me. “Nobody on this planet has resistance to this virus, so we are all going to get it. The only question is how quickly, and how much it overwhelms our systems.”  (I hope he’s wrong on the first count, that some people can be kept safe from it.)

I went shopping at the very nice rich-people’s supermarket near the hair salon. I was bemused by the sparseness of some things on the shelves, as I went up and down every aisle, looking for things on my list and willing to impulse buy as well. They had toilet paper, but with holes on the shelves. I hadn’t heard about the run on it yet, and stopped, considering. No, I decided, I had enough and didn’t want to store more. I did pick up a few more cleaning supplies, including some Clorox wipes, not usually on my list. I got an extra bottle of laundry detergent, and one of dishwasher stuff, thinking, “this stuff keeps forever”. I only bought food that was on my list.

I spoke to my brother that evening and said, “I’m still planning to fly down on Sunday.” I talked with him about the experiences of my step-nephew, who is an ER nurse in a rural hospital in Georgia (and not incidentally, a PhD in public health). Perhaps he had been exposed, he was certain if not, he would be. Huh.

I woke up Thursday, March 12 with the light bulb finally having gone off. I was awakened to the reality, finally. My dog-walker inquired that morning if I was still going away, and I said yes. I cancelled my planned trip downtown on the metro the following day. I was on facebook, and saw a bravado-filled post from someone from the just-finished retreat, and I responded with my stylist’s 2-sentence summary from the day before. Response was immediate, and overwhelming. This encapsulation made the penny drop for many other people, too. It’s not about me. It’s about us.

I asked my sister-in-law to ask her son (the ER nurse) if I should cancel, and the response was unequivocal, “yes”. Duh. I didn’t actually pull the trigger till the following day, cancelling flights and bookings. I don’t know what I was hoping for. I guess I was just mourning.

Friday, March 13, I went to Home Depot and picked up a takeout meal. That was unnecessary, but undeniably useful from a gardening standpoint. Sunday, I wrote my “Whine” post, mourning my trip. I also went to the Farmer’s Market, not because I needed anything but because I wanted to support the farmers. That was unnecessary.

Tuesday, I went to the liquor store, and Target next to it, and bought wine and beer and oranges and frozen pizzas and Milano cookies. I might have gotten obvious staples there, but there were shortages of those on the shelves. I had put those three things in my cart at Target and staring at the ramen packages when I realized I should not be buying food at this little urban convenience store: I had a car and could go to other places, and there was nothing I really needed then, anyway. I didn’t want to put things back, so I paid and left.

On Wednesday, March 18, my trainer came to my house for the first time. There was inevitably some contact, though it was minor. I made good on the “I can shop anywhere” and went to Whole Foods, which is my most common food store. I bought two of everything I normally buy one of. I bought fresh food, and some frozen convenience foods, and many shelf stable soups. I think if I get sick with a fever, I should still be able to nuke things most of the time. That afternoon, I took my girl for a driving lesson, and we went to PetSmart, where I bought a forty pound dog of dog food. Now I have enough for maybe eight weeks, which should keep Rocky from eating me for a while. That night, my girl was at a friend’s house, and she was exposed (she found out later) to someone who has since tested positive.

So that day, one week ago today, was the last time I was within touching distance of another human being. I don’t think a six-foot barrier has been maintained throughout, as I’ve gone to the park and chatted outside with my family. I feel fine, my girl feels fine. I had my house cleaners come yesterday - I retreated to the basement when they arrived, and quickly wiped down doorknobs and faucets after they left. I’ve spent way too much time on news and social media (setting up my iPad to monitor more closely) and a lot of time walking and gardening. Today, I worked out alone with a prescribed workout from my trainer. I paid her what I paid the gym, and I plan to keep on doing that for a while.

I’m working out where else to give money. Some local restaurants have partnered with a local aid organization to provide meals for newly needy families, not incidentally keeping their kitchen staff working. Forty dollars feeds a family of four. I’m thinking weekly donations for a while.

I don’t need to go out, for a while. I really don’t need to go out for at least a couple of weeks. I will be out of fresh food by then. So the risk math we are all doing is, should I stay in now, counting on the ability to get supplies being sustained? Or should I stock up even more now?

Also, the worst-case scenario planning: what will I do if I get sick? If I’m sick, and my closest family is not, I’d ask them to come by and take the dog out, going in and out of the house through a remote entrance. That way, they can also check on me through a closed door, assuming I can get out of bed to wave at them. My dog is not a good houseguest (due to behavioral issues) but he does fine in a kennel. There is a very expensive kennel that he could go to, which has sent out emails since they have no vacationing families leaving dogs.

So I think I’ll get sick. Because many of us will. The hope is to delay as long as possible, so not only do we flatten the curve, but we also learn more about how to treat this thing, and give the scientists time to work.