My Timeline, So Far

There is much advice about keeping journals and other ways to keep track of this truly global crisis. This blog is one of the ways I’m keeping track. I realize that some things are already merging back into distant memory. I thought I’d go back to my beginnings, and track how my awareness, understanding, and life have changed.

I suppose I first heard about this in January, like most reasonably well-informed persons. But I look at what I did in February, re-read my posts here from then, and there didn’t seem to be a realization of what was coming. I went to a retreat in Utah, sharing AirBnB condos with twenty women. I went on a weekend to Brooklyn, sharing a bed with a close friend and starting March with fabulous Brooklyn bagels.

My normal life involved a lot of staying home anyway. I’m looking at my calendar for March, trying to reconstruct my mindset. When was awareness dawning?

Certainly by the first week of March handwashing was on my mind. I went to meet the accountant I’ve hired for this year’s taxes, which was unnecessary but that didn’t sink in. I saw my dermatologist, and was very conscious of hygiene.

The second week of March, awareness began to sink in, but I was more into bravado than I should have been. I went to the gym twice, hyper aware about handwashing and not touching my face, but going anyway. I had a day shopping, with a blog post about how things were empty. I wrote, “except for not touching my face and washing my hands, I’m not going to modify my behavior much”. (TWO WEEKS AGO, PEOPLE!). I bought things for my upcoming trip to visit my brother. On Wednesday, March 11, I got my hair colored, and talked (as I do) to the very intelligent man who has been doing my hair for ten years now. He had gotten the “flatten the curve” message, and communicated it very well to me. “Nobody on this planet has resistance to this virus, so we are all going to get it. The only question is how quickly, and how much it overwhelms our systems.”  (I hope he’s wrong on the first count, that some people can be kept safe from it.)

I went shopping at the very nice rich-people’s supermarket near the hair salon. I was bemused by the sparseness of some things on the shelves, as I went up and down every aisle, looking for things on my list and willing to impulse buy as well. They had toilet paper, but with holes on the shelves. I hadn’t heard about the run on it yet, and stopped, considering. No, I decided, I had enough and didn’t want to store more. I did pick up a few more cleaning supplies, including some Clorox wipes, not usually on my list. I got an extra bottle of laundry detergent, and one of dishwasher stuff, thinking, “this stuff keeps forever”. I only bought food that was on my list.

I spoke to my brother that evening and said, “I’m still planning to fly down on Sunday.” I talked with him about the experiences of my step-nephew, who is an ER nurse in a rural hospital in Georgia (and not incidentally, a PhD in public health). Perhaps he had been exposed, he was certain if not, he would be. Huh.

I woke up Thursday, March 12 with the light bulb finally having gone off. I was awakened to the reality, finally. My dog-walker inquired that morning if I was still going away, and I said yes. I cancelled my planned trip downtown on the metro the following day. I was on facebook, and saw a bravado-filled post from someone from the just-finished retreat, and I responded with my stylist’s 2-sentence summary from the day before. Response was immediate, and overwhelming. This encapsulation made the penny drop for many other people, too. It’s not about me. It’s about us.

I asked my sister-in-law to ask her son (the ER nurse) if I should cancel, and the response was unequivocal, “yes”. Duh. I didn’t actually pull the trigger till the following day, cancelling flights and bookings. I don’t know what I was hoping for. I guess I was just mourning.

Friday, March 13, I went to Home Depot and picked up a takeout meal. That was unnecessary, but undeniably useful from a gardening standpoint. Sunday, I wrote my “Whine” post, mourning my trip. I also went to the Farmer’s Market, not because I needed anything but because I wanted to support the farmers. That was unnecessary.

Tuesday, I went to the liquor store, and Target next to it, and bought wine and beer and oranges and frozen pizzas and Milano cookies. I might have gotten obvious staples there, but there were shortages of those on the shelves. I had put those three things in my cart at Target and staring at the ramen packages when I realized I should not be buying food at this little urban convenience store: I had a car and could go to other places, and there was nothing I really needed then, anyway. I didn’t want to put things back, so I paid and left.

On Wednesday, March 18, my trainer came to my house for the first time. There was inevitably some contact, though it was minor. I made good on the “I can shop anywhere” and went to Whole Foods, which is my most common food store. I bought two of everything I normally buy one of. I bought fresh food, and some frozen convenience foods, and many shelf stable soups. I think if I get sick with a fever, I should still be able to nuke things most of the time. That afternoon, I took my girl for a driving lesson, and we went to PetSmart, where I bought a forty pound dog of dog food. Now I have enough for maybe eight weeks, which should keep Rocky from eating me for a while. That night, my girl was at a friend’s house, and she was exposed (she found out later) to someone who has since tested positive.

So that day, one week ago today, was the last time I was within touching distance of another human being. I don’t think a six-foot barrier has been maintained throughout, as I’ve gone to the park and chatted outside with my family. I feel fine, my girl feels fine. I had my house cleaners come yesterday - I retreated to the basement when they arrived, and quickly wiped down doorknobs and faucets after they left. I’ve spent way too much time on news and social media (setting up my iPad to monitor more closely) and a lot of time walking and gardening. Today, I worked out alone with a prescribed workout from my trainer. I paid her what I paid the gym, and I plan to keep on doing that for a while.

I’m working out where else to give money. Some local restaurants have partnered with a local aid organization to provide meals for newly needy families, not incidentally keeping their kitchen staff working. Forty dollars feeds a family of four. I’m thinking weekly donations for a while.

I don’t need to go out, for a while. I really don’t need to go out for at least a couple of weeks. I will be out of fresh food by then. So the risk math we are all doing is, should I stay in now, counting on the ability to get supplies being sustained? Or should I stock up even more now?

Also, the worst-case scenario planning: what will I do if I get sick? If I’m sick, and my closest family is not, I’d ask them to come by and take the dog out, going in and out of the house through a remote entrance. That way, they can also check on me through a closed door, assuming I can get out of bed to wave at them. My dog is not a good houseguest (due to behavioral issues) but he does fine in a kennel. There is a very expensive kennel that he could go to, which has sent out emails since they have no vacationing families leaving dogs.

So I think I’ll get sick. Because many of us will. The hope is to delay as long as possible, so not only do we flatten the curve, but we also learn more about how to treat this thing, and give the scientists time to work.

Turning 65 in the Age of Pandemic

This was a milestone birthday, in all events. But SO different than I could have imagined!

For the record, what I look like at age 65

Previous milestone birthdays have been marked with festivities. My fortieth was marked by my work friends, who decorated my office and took me away for happy hour. My fiftiest was marked with a family trip to Mexico, organized by my sister. (It was an excuse to do what we all wanted to do anyway.) My sixtieth was organized by me. I had just started running, and I made the whole family do a 5K in downtown DC that went by my office.

This was different. I signed up for Medicare, and thought about updating my medical directives and will. (More on the "getting affairs in order" another time.)

I live alone, though I have family just a block away. And more family about 8 miles away, in a trendy DC neighborhood. And yet, I celebrated alone and that was fine. My girl may have been casually exposed to a person who a couple of days later was tested and confirmed to have the virus. We decided she would not come over, and neither would her dad.

So her dad brought me a present of two big bags of potting soil for my pot farm!  We did a Wakanda salute. I took a big walk, and stopped by and saw my girl outside, from a distance, in the sunshine. Later, we did a facetime call where I played a guided meditation which we did together. We're thinking of making this a daily practice. We both want to meditate more, and accountability partners may be a good thing.

I made myself a cocktail, and feasted on a big delivery of Chinese food my girl ordered for me. We had a zoom birthday party, feeling like the Brady bunch with our four squares on the screen with our six faces. All the kids are well. And all of us are privileged so that none of us is seriously in economic jeopardy by staying home to minimize our physical jeopardy.  "Happy Birthday" was sung, without hand-washing happening.

Things Making me Happy

Here are some things that make me happy right now. I hope you enjoy as well.

My mini- trampoline. I bounce when I don’t go out,
and it’s not possible to stay in a bad mood when bouncing

.

My updated kitchen, especially the backsplash

My friends. We’re all in this together.

We saw Judy Chicago’s Dinner Party!
And, one of the places was for Caroline Herschel,
A 19th century astronomer who appears in one of my favorite novels!

My girl, who is growing stronger every day

Seasonal decorating - these are from my mother’s house

More decorating - a combination of mine and my mother’s egg collections.

Whine

I am so well suited to social distancing! It plays towards my strengths. And yet, every crisis I've been through has trained me to turn into the problem. To take action. To keep calm and carry on, as a way of showing courage and defiance. After 9/11, I worked for three months without a calendar day away from the office. Remember anthrax? There were people in my office that stayed home for a month or more, out of fear. I remember an op ed in the Washington Post at that time. The gist of it was, when his children asked in the future, "What did you do during the war [on terrorism], Daddy?" his answer was going to be, "I showed up". At that time, changing our behavior was letting the bad guys win.

That's probably why it took me so long to have the light bulb go off. Staying home isn't about being a coward, afraid for and taking care of me. Staying home is about keeping others safe. It's hard to grapple with the thought that little old me, by taking the metro or going to the movies, could be making a difference on how fast the virus will spread. But of course, it's the multiplication of all the little actions that leads to the outcome. And there are no "bad guys" who will win, no matter what happens. It's only our society that will win or lose, depending on how fast the virus spreads.

I have to whine about it, though. I am incredibly privileged, to have the luxury of staying home without it disrupting work or child care or anything of consequence, really. And to have the internet at (generally) high speeds which enables movies and books to magically appear in my house, without me or a delivery person being at risk. To have plenty of interesting projects to keep me busy, from gardening to organizing family photos, and even doing "get out the vote" letters from home. I have family and friends near by to share with and keep tabs on each other. My neighborhood is strongly connected and full of mutual aid. I have a home gym, and a park trail to walk on daily. I can go to stores off-peak, when I need something. I can afford and have access to home delivery of almost everything I need, if I don't want to go out. Because I've been a bit of prepper since 1999 (remember Y2K?) I started last week with adequate supplies on hand to be able to dodge newly woke hoarder crowds at the supermarket. And, not only do I have a Kula cloth, I also have a toilet equipped with a bidet attachment so I don't even need toilet paper!

Despite all these blessings, I have to whine. I cancelled a longed-for vacation. I had booked, with my brother and sister-in-law, a week at the beach on a Georgia sea island. I had shaved my legs (a spring ritual) and bought a new blouse. I bought a new small travel bag, and travel-size sunscreen and lotions. I had been following the resort on instagram. At night, I dreamed of walking on the beach. But, I woke up Thursday morning realizing I simply shouldn't climb on an airplane and go. I considered driving, but traveling is the bad idea, not simply air travel. This is pretty much the definition of a discretionary trip. Still, I waited until yesterday to actually cancel. So this morning, here I am, whining on the couch, instead of winging my way south.

So I have to whine. This is my blog, and I can whine if I want to. But it's not just venting. I examined my conscience. Am I just virtue-signalling? If I make a sacrifice and nobody knows, does it count?

One of the things we know about changing human behavior is that social norms are a major driver. We are much more likely to change if those around us are also changing. We'll pick up our trash if everyone else does. We don't want to be known as the "messy ones" in a community of neatniks. So yeah, I'm whining. So yeah, I'm virtue signalling by whining publicly. But, it does serve a purpose, because if everyone knows I'm cancelling my trip, I'm resetting the community norm, and others might also be likely to cancel. So there is virtue in virtue-signalling. There's a conundrum for you to ponder!

Me, Most Mornings

Here is where I start almost every day, with coffee and the ipad. Ranges from twenty minutes to two hours, with breaks for more coffee and to tend to the dog, who is at my feet but waiting to go out.

Differences are Already Noticeable

I went shopping today, for the first time in quite a while (aside from ducking into the grocery store). I made a pass through Kohl’s, PetSmart, Target, and Home Depot, all clustered together. For the first time ever, there was no wait for the cashier at any of them. Only Home Depot was showing any signs of life. The other three stores were nearly empty. People are staying home. The people that work there, probably can’t afford to stay home.

Time to make sure my elected federal representatives are clear that any extra corporate subsidies to make up for lost business need to be strictly pass-throughs to the employees. How can that be assured? I’m sure there are policy wonks that have that figured out already.

I was disconcerted today to find myself grouped by the way newspapers reported CDC recommendations into the “at risk population”. I decided I’m basically healthy, and except for washing hands and being conscious of touching my face, I’m not going to modify behavior much. I don’t feel old. But there was a very amusing segment on The Daily Show where the very young guy referred to “old people like you” as the only ones that should be worried. When Trevor Noah protested, “I’m not old” the guy laughed and said, “I guess we’ll let ol’ Rona Virus decide that!”  Indeed.

Home Refresh

The kitchen and office updates are (just about) done. There always seems to be this dragging 2% that takes forever - in this case, switch plate covers. But here are Before and After pictures!

Notice not just the drab counters but also the clutter!
The big flowers were from Ikea -
my girl and I brightened up a winter day long ago.

View from the other end- food stored on the counters.

I had started to store a lot of stuff out on the counters. After I cleared it out, I liked the uncluttered look and tried to keep it.

 I kept the cabinets, appliances, and floor. I changed the cabinet pulls, the countertop, the backsplash, and the wall color. I also had to do the sink, the faucet, and the disposal. Overall, it completely transforms the space!

The backsplash was where I put my energy, though the quartz countertop was the most money. I went to several places before finding the tiles I wanted. I had started with only vague ideas of what I was looking for, fueled by HGTV. I sharpened my focus on the internet, and found what appealed to me on pinterest.

This is as de-cluttered as it gets. A new fridge is in my future.
I also will get new dish towels.

At the tile shops, I found the ceramic tiles dull, and I knew I didn't want a busy pattern. Glass tiles added depth, and they change dramatically with the light. I finally found, on the internet, a local tile shop that seemed very promising. An opportunistic trip (it was a block from my dermatologist) led to the answer. I had brought a drawer front and a counter sample along, and agreed with the design rep on a predominate glass tile color salted with a complementary color in a random pattern. I drew out the pattern to scale on the computer one night, and I'm thrilled with the result.

My fresh veggies and cutting board will stay out.
The lower open shelves hold recycling staging and kitchen towels.

 The cabinet pulls are from Home Depot - I swear I looked at all 657 choices on-line. I informed my choices by looking at and touching the in-store stock, but on-line had a wider spectrum of choices. I ended up special order, but it was still just a couple of days.

My sink is really deep - I bought a sink with an added inch of depth, and then the mounting under the countertop adds more than another inch (which then required some jiggering to fit the disposal in). A small dog could go swimming in there. I can store my dish soap and sponges inside the sink to keep the countertop clear. The big, arched, faucet is all the style, but I find it splashes more than my old one.

As things went back in the kitchen, I scrubbed all the cabinet doors and insides. I got rid of a few things, but mostly I re-arranged. Items seldom used went to the basement (which may be staging for eventual disposal) and I moved things around so the most used item became more accessible. I treated myself to a visit to the Container Store and got some back-of-cabinet door racks to increase the amount of area easily accessible. And the huge Instant Pot, which I use pretty often, lives out of sight!

Just for fun, I moved the countertop appliances around. The microwave is where the toaster oven was, the toaster oven sits where the coffee pot was, and the coffee pot is by the kitchen door where I used to keep fresh veggies. My huge stash of dog treats and dog accessories has been either put away or put into nice canisters. Right now, I'm motivated to keep the place bare. I stroke the countertops and touch the backsplash, finger the substantial drawer pulls, and love being in there. We'll see how it evolves as I start really inhabiting it, cooking and just living there.

Before

The other project was the office. There, I had a formica countertop that wrapped around, and I wanted to get rid of the part that was designed to be a desk. I never use it, (now that I have laptop and don't spend hours working on documents or photos) and it just took up space.

During

I bought a standard-sized countertop from Ikea, which was (frustratingly) ONE inch too small to fit the existing layout of the lower cabinets. I knew this when I bought it - the contractors said "oh, it's easy to just slide the cabinet base over a couple of inches". Thus, the dominoes start to fall:  baseboards, flooring, what else is affected? We managed to contain the effort, and I love the additional space and light from the fresh color on the walls.

After. Still clutter to clear from the countertop

This room has a high shelf that wraps around - to pull in and make whole the space over the basement stairs. I had a small collection of birds picked up on my travels over the years. This was a tendency adopted from my mother, who had a large collection of birds. After the construction was done, I integrated the two collections and put them up on that shelf.

Like the kitchen, I also emptied out the cabinets and thought through what I needed to keep or toss, and how to organize it to make it accessible. (I spent a couple of hours in front of the TV trying all the ballpoint pens that were in a big box.) I've got the paper and file folders all squared away, but I have a lot of electronic bits, cords, and gadgets still to deal with. Many of them are in two other closets (and even the basement) and I'll need a long day or two to consolidate and sort out.

I also had the living room ceiling painted - it had been damaged years ago by a leak - I got a new roof, eventually new drywall, but the paint waited until now. So to close, pictures of the disruption during the work.