Saturday, April 29, 2017

Feeling all Ahoo

I'm feeling very off-kilter, un-organized, anxious. I'm getting back up but a number of things are driving this, and I have a number of strategies to cope.

  1. Work is taking too much time. There is a lot of work to do. Much of it is good and challenging work that feels important. But we don't have enough people to do all of it well, my people are working their hearts out, and I just don't want to spend that many hours in the office. Actually, I do want to spend that many hours in the office, I just also want more hours out of the office, with sufficient energy to do everything else I want to do.
    Short-term strategy: Take a Break. There's a Lake I Know... (But this leaves my people even more in the lurch.)
    Long-term strategy: Haven't got one yet.
  2. My girl is still unsettled.
    Not a crisis. Not going to say more.
  3. My mother is not so on top of things. She needs time and attention from me.
    Strategy: Pay her bills, organize her healthcare, enlist other family members to spend time with her.
  4. My garden needs serious work. This is mostly maintenance, the function of neglect for several years, and exacerbated by the work time crunch and incessant rain. Some few projects will require hiring someone, which is also time and effort to plan and carry out.
    Strategy: budget and keep to some time spent on the yard each weekend day. Mow the grass during today's window of sufficiently dry time. If work comes more into balance, during these long days, count on a half-hour or so an evening or two during the week.
  5. Serious home improvement projects have made little or no progress. I want to refinish the basement, which will be a major undertaking. I have it planned out in my mind. The first step is to empty the basement of as much stuff as I can permanently.  I have made small bits of progress on this, but it needs time and focus. I also want a nice soaker tub in the upstairs bathroom, which still has the original, shallow, builder's grade tub installed in 1950.
    Strategy: Focus when I get back from vacation. Draft family members to help. Requires wresting back time from all the items above.
  6. My kitchen is a mess, and other chores aren't getting done.  Work time is my ever-present excuse, but right now I also have ants. My galley kitchen has a long counter-top along the outside wall, with a pilot of dog treats at one end and Nan treats at the other. Along the way are a microwave, cutting board, sink, and typically dirty dishes being staged for the dishwasher.  The ants came marching in, and I've swept stuff off the counter (dog treats to a grocery bag, Nan treats to the fridge, everything else to the dishwasher) and sprayed. Now the kitchen is stinky from the spray, and ants are re-appearing. It's just another barrier to cooking and eating healthy stuff at home.
    Strategy: relocate the food more permanently, and deploy traps and spray ferociously until I leave on vacation, hope it's solved itself by the time I get back.
  7. I'm eating crap. I realized driving home ravenously one night this week at 7:30 pm that I had no food in the house. By this I mean I had no food that could be made dinner-worthy in ten minutes or less - no leftovers, no convenience foods. I went to the McDonald's drive through for a bigmac and fries - the first time in probably five years I've done this. I'm buying lunch which is not terrible but also not perfectly healthy. The kitchen disarray contributes.
    Short-term strategy: I just came back from buying convenience foods. "Saffron Road" is a frozen dinner brand with good taste (and portion control). I bought fresh prepared food for today and tomorrow. 
    Longer-term strategy: recommit when I get back from vacation to cooking.
  8. My dog is old. He is probably older than I thought when I got him. Also he's had a hard life. I made a rational decision this very hungry labrador is not going to have any more operations to remove things from his stomach. I doubt my ability to keep him safe, but I try and will keep trying. Our time together seems a bit more precious since I've thought this through.
    Strategy: enjoy our ambles together while we can.
  9. I'm going sailing!  This is very very good, but not without stress. Sailing pushes me from comfortable life. I had major work done on the boat over the winter, which of course ended up costing more than I had planned. Tomorrow we're bringing her home to her summer berth. It'll be some hours, but not especially arduous nor dangerous - as long as nothing unexpected goes wrong. When a boat is 30 years old, the unexpected does happen.
    Strategy: sail my brains out this summer. Cultivate additional crew since my schedule and my boat partner's don't sync up that well. Ensure all my skills are sharp.
  10. I'm going on vacation!  The astute reader will have deduced this already. This is also very very good, but it takes a lot to get things together. The vacation will be physically vigorous, and I've been training for it, but not enough. My laundry has piled up and because of work I am leaving no time to pack at the last minute, so I have to get to it this weekend. Because of going hiking in rural areas, my normal antidote to "did I bring the right stuff?" anxiety of "all I really need is a passport and a credit card" is not necessarily true. I also have significant aches and pains, and don't want to be a drag on the group.
    Strategy: pack drugs, electronic entertainment, credit cards and passport. Print physical copy of itinerary documents. Then chill. It'll be fine. 
Overall:  ensure having fun!  Thanks, Liz.  Got to make sure there is time for that. Like doing this - this is fun. But I'm off to mow the lawn now.

3 comments:

KCF said...

For some reason, your list compels me to respond in list style:
1. Such a tricky one. I surmise that your work is such a part of who you are and rightfully what you’re poud of. I dunno. The outlining of all the other things feels maybe it will push work more in perspective.
2. My prayers and thoughs with you on this always, as you know.
3. Enlisting sounds like right plan here.
4. Gardens are never done. I think taking this as a joy and less a chore is the way to go. Even if it’s wild and wooly one year, your garden is established enough to hang in there.
5. Maybe take one project only—and a bite-sized one at that (full basement sounds like a lot). This can be a time- and money-suck. Beware.
6. Ants. I have one word, my friend. Terro. Try it. I swear by it.
7. Your approach seems spot on here.
8. Painful, but sensible and spot on here, too.
9-10. They both sound like lifesavers, even with their inherent challenges.

Loving your breakdowns and thinking through. This alone will help steady you, I'm sure!

Liz said...


Here I come sailing in with more unsolicited advice, a specialty of mine!
Peter sails very well.
Sweet Rocky, I am relieved for him at your decision. Surgery not easy for old dogs.
I cross my fingers on enlisting for your mom. Young people are busy. Suggest bribes, if you can think of one. You will pay for dinner out if they take your mom? Then have HS pay, because he should be doing more.How about something that exploits their common interest in the visual, and how game your mom is - a photo essay for Alex and Charlie starring your mom dressed up or disguised or in a setting -recipients have to guess the theme? I know that sounds like a lot, but Clara could do makeup, Simon could film, your mom would be amused.

Looking at your list, while no one could do it as well as you, it hits me that you could pay someone to do parts of it. Sign up for a meal service, a landscaper. I know it goes against both your thrift, and your can-do spirit, but this is a rough patch, no doubt about it. Problems you can solve with money are the more desirable class of problems, waste no more energy on them. It's ok, you can be pioneer lady next year!

Love hearing about you leaving work at a reasonable time. Don't save those fucks from understaffing decisions! Also glad you are getting your money out of boat repairs. Yay!

Your trip is going to be AWESOME and you are going to love it, even if hobbling thru foreign climes in dirty clothes and bumming cash from your group. I can tell already you have made up your mind to love it, so what could beat that!!

Bon voyage, travel safely!
Liz

Alice Garbarini Hurley said...

I like this post!