New Year's Resolutions

With this start of a new school year I feel almost like a new beginning. My college boy is gone [sadness] and my little girl has started high school. The boy in the middle is a senior, looking for colleges and trying to find his way after some rough years.

But I've started to move again, emerging from what feels like a cocooned, frozen in time summer. So it feels right to aim at a new goal, a new habit.

I want to leave my building at least once each work day.

Doesn't sound like much, does it? But as I think about how to incorporate more movement in my life, this seems possible. I'm desperately short on sleep, both because of not giving myself enough time in bed, but also a lot of tossing and turning when I am at least trying. So exercising at night is out, and I really make use of the extra hour I get when it's not a gym day. So lunch for a walk it is.

My days at work are stressful and harried, full of meetings set to other people's needs. I try to bring my lunc with me as often as I can, in order to control what I eat. But usually when I do that, I end up never leaving my own corner of the building, much less outside. But I work in one of the most scenic and most visited spots in the world, across the street from the most popular museum in the world (Smithsonian Air & Space) so I really need to get separated from the crisis of the moment and take a tiny little jaunt.

Walking is not the exercise I most want to add, but anything is better than nothing. And it's as much the psychological break I need as the physical one.

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Boots

I've done ok for the past few weeks.  I started tracking in weight watchers again, and that helped motivate me to move more, to get those activity points added back to my allowance.  The fact is, I won't lose weight if I use all my daily and weekly points - at least that seems to be the case so far.  I'm not sure I have enough data to really verify this, because I don't think I've kept on tracking long enough for it to be proven one way or another, but mostly I'm not losing, not gaining, and have a bunch of the weekly points left over at the end of the week.

When I first started tracking again, it was because I had seen numbers on the scale above and beyond my normal fluctuations and alarm bells were going off full force. As it turned out, a catalogue appeared the day I decided to get serious, and there was this dress... Heavily influenced by Mad Men, I had to have this shirtwaist flirty dress. I've been wearing a lot of casual dresses this summer (sans hose, as appears to be the DC summer practical code, hooray) and it was a peach. But, slightly out of my normal price range, I decided to use it as a reward. I was a little bit fuzzy on what I had to do for the reward - "be good" for a few weeks.  I kept the catalogue open to that page, and looked at it often.

I've started to get moving, and moving begets moving. Another catalogue came this week, and it was specializing in boots.  I have never had tall boots that I really liked, and I've always wanted them. So the reward system became a bit amended:  get out there and run, and earn my boots. But, I am finding that nearly impossible to do on weekday mornings. I am not making even six hours sleep most nights, and it makes me very cranky. I set the alarm in the morning, and I get to the gym appointment, but the appointment with myself? Not so much.

I have added a lot of walking. I've gotten back into at least a quick mile on the mall at lunch, and Friday night I was suddenly left on my own as the family all made different plans, and so I got a solid three miles in.  Both yesterday and today I got out in the morning to run, and I've got a lot of re-conditioning to do by October 6 when the next 5K comes along.

I decided Friday that if I did my Friday night walk, and ran both Saturday and Sunday, I could buy boots. Still in my sweaty clothes, I sat down at the computer and did just that this afternoon.  I hope I like them!

The goals for the next time period are all around running, not around eating or weight. We'll see if one follows the other.

Momentum

I've been feeling a real lack of energy or motivation about exercise. It presents itself to me as the classic conundrum:  do I lack energy to move because I haven't been moving? If I move, will I use up my energy on exercise (that I would rather spend on my family or work) or will it give me more energy?  And, am I fatigued or am I lazy? I can never tell the difference. A doctor told me, "if the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, then its fatigue" but my spirit is always willing to sit down and read a book or take a nap, so that is not such useful advice.

So for whatever reason, I've decided to try to marshal the spirit to get back to being fit. Some of this weekend's effort is fueled by the terrific weather (I was able to turn the a/c off for three days!) and probably some by the sense of the end of summer. Have I gotten what I wanted out of this summer? It's time to seize the day.

So a paddle last night, and my first run in a while this morning.  It was a run/walk, since I am definitely out of shape. It's time to get back to intervals, to build up the strength.

Part of my motivation is a chance to use all my gadgets. I have a Garmin GPS watch, and I have an iPhone app called Runkeeper.  They both record my tracks via GPS and let me replay the activity step by step, and they let me share on the internet or to Facebook.  The Garmin also connects to a heart rate monitor, so I can confirm how hard I'm working.

For Runkeeper, I can give you a link to look at the output, but you cannot see it unless you sign up with them, which isn't worth doing unless you have a smart phone and want to keep your own workouts as well.  So I did a screen print from the iPhone display just for grins.

And here is the link the Garmin, which I think anyone with the link can see (my only security is I figure no one will be trolling for these kinds of links, and if someone sees it, who cares?)

Nan's little run 8/19/2012

No promises for future progress, or even regular posts. But I am tracking again in WW and it is great to have activities to add back points.

Cheers. Here's to the last week before school starts.

[LATER EDIT] I signed up for another 5K!  It looks super fun: the Historic Congressional Cemetery Dead Man's Run, on October 6.  I need a public goal to keep me honest.  Thanks, guys.

Sweet (Bittersweet) Summer's Waning

Summer starts: (a) Memorial Day (b) Last Day of School (c) Solstice (d) When you are at your vacation place (e) When the farmer's market has something other than lettuce and spinach

Summer ends: (a) Labor Day (b) First Day of School (c) Solstice (d) When it's too dark in the mornings to run before work (e) When there are no more peaches at the farmer's market

Today is an amazing day by any standard for any temperate climate in late summer: cool, low humidity, tiny little cumulus clouds in the distance. windows open and air conditioning off. And on a Saturday, no less!

I finally have my farmers market routine down. I park in the shade, pick up staples and meat for the coming week with breakfast at Whole Foods, then grab some bags and head to the very charming downtown Silver Spring farmers market. Tomatoes, peppers, peaches, were all I needed today. I'm planning the ultimate BLT for later this weekend, so I got the bacon from WF, and ogled an impressive array of choices at the farmers market before selecting a cinnamon raisin loaf. I already have the lettuce, delivered from my farm subscription on Wednesday (still good, I checked it last night).

I need to stay more active, and I've got some gardening plans to take advantage of the soft ground from last night's rain and this morning's cool weather. NPR on the iPod, and I'm good to go for now. As insurance against working too long and getting too hungry and making a poor choice later today, I picked up a prepared salad from WF, so my WW points should be good for the rest of the week!

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Fabulous Fantasyland

I've been lost in a fabulous fantasyland, ignoring real life and just drifting along ignoring all responsibilities, all exercise, eating whatever presents itself. I live in a haze between episodes of Mad Men, just waiting until I can sit down and be mesmerized by the world unfolding before my eyes.

My mother, 1959. She was no model in Italy, but she was kicked out of graduate school in order to give her place to a man. And, the Dean told my father what was happening to his wife, rather than giving her the courtesy of telling her himself. Probably he was afraid she'd cry. 

I got the first episode on iTunes just before my trip, and brought a few along on the iPad to watch on board. I watched the first episode on June 14, on the plane to Italy. A few more were watched on deck chairs in the Mediterranean. What was this bizarro world they inhabited - smoking, drinking, letting children plan with dry cleaning bags - who were these people? How could they be so casually sexist and racist? It took a few episodes to realize:  they were my parents. Actually, they weren't my parents, but they were my parent's friends. Don Draper was born in 1928, between my mother and father. I watched the solar eclipse with Sally Draper's class, I wore her cupcake dresses, my sister (the late, unexpected baby) was in my mother's arms when the news came that Kennedy had been shot.  My brother saw Jack Ruby shoot Lee Harvey Oswald live on TV.

Thanksgiving 1962 (my brother took the picture, and my father is giving him instructions)

One bone to pick:  it's not possible that Norwegian Peggy Olson from Brooklyn is Roman Catholic. There is a huge Norwegian Lutheran Church my family would visit to see distant relatives and eat traditional food right up through the 1980s. Maybe to Hollywood producers anyone first or second generation European-American living in Brooklyn is Catholic, maybe they never heard of Martin Luther or the reformation, but less than one-half of one percent of all Norwegians today are Catholic - its over 95% identified as Lutheran, with more people identifying as Muslim or Buddhist than Catholic. Do they not think Protestants have rules or have guilt? Imagine the frisson if the guitar playing youth pastor were not sworn to celibacy but was instead available.  Obviously, someone got to the writers and they knew enough that Peggy would have to pretend her Swedish Manhattan roommate was actually Norwegian to pass muster.  So far, this is the falsest note of the whole series to me.

But I've moved on and the story arc is soaring!  Now, halfway through Season Four, the women are out there. So is the overt hostility of the young men threatened by the women. In 1965, I knew I couldn't be an astronaut. I wanted to be a sailor or a lighthouse keeper, but it seemed lighthouse keeper's daughter was the closest job open to me - though I was missing the key qualification of my father's choice of profession.[Footnote: the irony is that recapturing actual women's history from actual records indicates that lighthouse keeper in real life was the first government job routinely held by women in America, often taking over from deceased husbands.]  But here is the joy of this moment: Peggy has discovered she is not entirely alone.  There are other working women out there, and they want what she wants.

Erstwhile lighthouse keeper's daughter, probably 1965

So I'm living in this totally absorbing fantasyland, ignoring life unfolding around me. Cooking? Laundry? Bill paying? The office? Time with the kids? I can squeeze a few grudging moments in between episodes. Sleep? Definitely suffering. Exercise? Not so much. Ice cream from the container while watching, absently finishing it all?  Well, yeah, more than once.

While I am sucking down the episodes, so far I haven't just hit "play" instantly to get the next episode after an episode is over. No, I'm checking out fabulous and opinionated Tom and Lorenzo for each episode, as well as their style guides, and occasional other fan sites, for analysis and opinions. There is time to do that, while still inhabiting this stirring time line.

So the whole weight loss / be strong thing isn't going so well. I just saw Don Draper pull himself together, cut back on the drinking, and swim a few laps. Surely I can do the same?

But my goal is to be caught up before the season starts. When is that?  Five minutes didn't turn the date up on the AMC website, but a note that it was nominated for 17 Emmy's did show up. And it was so tempting to go elsewhere on the website, but I'm trying very very hard to avoid spoilers. There are a few I've stumbled upon, but so far Tom and Lorenzo are sufficiently well labelled I've avoided most untimely unveilings.

I'm careening out of control, folks. Like Don Draper, I need to keep a journal to try to control myself. Since this is the 2010s, not the 1960s, my version is a blog. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't actually measure and calculate what I'm doing here.  Through the magic of computers, I know exactly when I've watched what, and the rapid acceleration of my obsession looks ripe for a sudden crash.