Saturday, June 5, 2010

A Day Off

Yesterday, I took the day off from thinking about diet and exercise.  I removed my magic activity monitor device, and deliberately left it behind on the dresser.  I put on a summer dress, and wasn't unhappy with how I looked in it.  I just ate without a lot of thought and no intention of recording it. I don't want to reconstruct entirely, but I did have a couple of beers and some cake.

As my energy has flagged, my commitment has also flagged. My rate of weight loss is slow (but still a downward trend). I'm really digging the personal training though it cuts into my precious sleep, but I need a lot more aerobic exercise, and our DC sub-tropical clime is past the time where its fun to do stuff outdoors (except in the very early morning or on the water).  My knees hurt a lot, and my hand still hurts from the fall a month ago.  I don't have a lot of energy to plan ahead on meals, and so we're eating a lot of processed stuff, just when we should be getting fresh local vegetables and fruits.

In one of those serendipitous events that make the world endlessly thrilling, I was pawing through some old iphone notes this morning early, and came on a litany of encouraging self-talk I had copied down back when I started this journey five months ago. This is from The Complete Beck Diet For Life, which I wrote about before.

1. The only way to lose weight permanently is to learn dieting skills and practice them every day. Then dieting will get easier and easier.
2. I'm choosing to say NO CHOICE. If I want to lose weight, I have to do what I need to do, not what I feel like doing.
3. I can accept this is what I have to do if I want all of the benefits of permanent weight loss.
4. My weight isn't who I am. It isn't a measure of my worth. It's just a number that tells me important information.
5. I have to eat every bite slowly, while sitting down, so I can fully enjoy it. It's worth developing this lifetime habit so I can have a lifetime of being thinner.
6. I really do deserve credit for breaking old habits, and it is essential for building my confidence. Once my confidence grows, everything will become so much easier.



Let's take a look at how I am doing, and see if I want to renew the commitment.  
What skills have I developed? How well do I practice them?  
  1. For eating, I am very conscious of portion size. Even yesterday, when I decided "diet, schmiet" I was aware that hunger is not an emergency, and ate things I wanted to eat, not just because they were there. For activity, I am much more aware of the need to get up and move around a lot. Don't hesitate to run downstairs to get what you need - don't wait and do it tomorrow.
  2. No Choice:  I am not following a rigid set of rules. Everything is a choice. Maybe that is part of my problem right now - I am giving myself too many food choices, and often compromising on my ideals of what I want to be eating as a result.  Maybe I need to re-read that section of the book, and as I recall, it will likely result in my making a more structured framework for food for a while.  For exercise - the personal training removes a whole set of choices, and it really is working for me.
  3. Acceptance:  I know there is no magic in weight loss. It will just take time and effort. I really really want to be stronger and slimmer, and I need to do certain things to make that happen. Some of them I am doing well, others not so well.
  4. Weight:  I weigh myself every day. A single high number does not devastate me, but a new low number elates me.
  5. Eating slowly while sitting down and not doing anything else.  I pretty much have ignored this precept. Perhaps I need to reread and rethink this part of the Beck plan, and decide if it will yield benefits.  Actually, I do not much all day on the go, just have specific meals, so maybe I'm not totally ignoring it.
  6. Credit and Confidence:  I do give myself credit for having made progress, and for how I have handled my overall committment.  I have some degree of confidence about my ability to handle different situations in the future. And the working out thing is really building physical confidence, though the knees and the hand are setbacks.
More later - I want to go move around now, and then re-read some earlier postings and go back to my instructional books.


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