Ugghh- Weight

So my motto is "move" and my plan is to be strong. I've decided not to focus on my weight.

This is not "rising above it" or a new, higher, consciousness. At least, I'm pretty sure I decided not to focus on it because it's such an ugly picture. Here is the last year:

Remember, the actual weight is in grey, the trend is the dark line

So, not at all a pretty picture. I obviously DO want to get this under control, but I've decided not to focus on, put specific rules on, what I eat. I want my focus to be on moving and getting strong.

Obviously, these things are related. Getting the weight under control will help me feel better and move better. But serious reductions in weight requires time, attention, focus, work. Not what I'm willing to do right now, I want to spend time moving. So I'll fall back on convenience foods, try to stay mindful, not ban sweets, try to make good choices in the moment anyway, but I'm not going to make it a big deal.

I've been weighing myself daily for over twenty years now. I don't want to break the streak, but I don't really want to even think about what the scale says. This is in an effort to get more tuned into my body and its internal messages. So, as I've done before, I put a sticky note over the scale reading - the wifi-connected device goes ahead and records the number in the cloud anyway, so it'll be there waiting for me when I want to go look. (As it turns out, Rocky snatched and gobbled the sticky note paper right away, so I'm going to have to try masking tape.)

One of the body signals I'm getting is that my tailored work pants are too tight. I briefly blamed it on my swollen post-surgery knee, but I don't think that still works - especially not for buttoning at the waist! I certainly don't want to have to buy new work clothes right now, so the one bright aspect of being essential during this terrible government shutdown is I can get away with yoga pants at work. (Because it's all about me, of course.)

My theory of my tight pants includes the thought that truly I've lost muscle tone, with the sore knee even before the surgery cutting back on my exercise, and I can get the pants to fit through toning even without weight loss. We'll see.