Decomposing Habits

Trigger, response, reward.  That is what a habit is composed of.  You can make a new habit by setting up a new sequence of trigger, response, reward. Breaking a habit is harder. One way to do it is to overlay a new response onto the same trigger-but that new response has to have an equal or better reward.

My bedtime snacking for example.  As I get ready for bed, I plan to sit there and eat something chocolaty, while spending a last few minutes checking in with my book or online. (And the dog gets his own bedtime snack-and his habit is so strong it's now absolutely essential or neither of us gets any sleep!). This sometimes leads to huge sugar binges, sometimes actually doubling my total calorie intake for the day. What is the actual trigger, and what is the actual reward?  Is the reward the physical sugar rush? Is my body craving higher blood sugar levels after a day with fairly low carb levels all day? Or is it the psychological sense of a special treat, taking care of myself, some sort of extra nurturing? Or some third possibility, associated with the physical act of eating, but not the blood sugar? I could ruminate on this for a long time, as is my wont. Or, I could set up an experiment and decompose the habit into separate responses, and see which reward seems to satisfy me. (This is straight from the book I'm reading, and right up my line of self-tracking and experimentation).

If the physical sugar rush is what matters, then almost any form of sweet eaten almost anywhere should do it. A teaspoon of sugar while standing up in the kitchen, for example. If it's the physical act of eating, perhaps a cup of warm herb tea would meet the need. If its nurturing, hmmm, checking in with the family instead?  A little doggy petting session? (He is very affectionate and wiggles and snuggles all over, very positive feedback.)  Not sure.  What I do know is I am usually so exhausted at the end of the night whatever my action is it has to be very very easy and not time consuming, so some sort of lotion on the face, or a bath, doesn't appeal.

The idea is I can do anything by paying attention and using my willpower- for a short period of time. So I should try these different approaches, for a couple of times each, and think about what is most satisfying. Then make it a habit, do it essentially the same way every night, so I no longer think about it and don't need to use any of my precious willpower on it any more.

My hypothesis is that the cup of tea will work, made in the microwave but in my fancy china cup.  In fact, right now, I have a little thrill of anticipation at the thought of trying it tonight.

Seduced by good looks

I saw these at the farmers market and had to get them: yellow and purple cauliflower. I assume the taste the same. I'm going to combine them with my rainbow of heirloom carrots. I could roast them, but I'm thinking marinating for a day in a cilantro vinaigrette is more summery. 

The Foodist says to focus on eating good stuff and don't focus on eliminating and denying yourself other stuff. If you learn to love the good stuff- and make it easy on yourself to eat it- then eventually junk food just drops away to low enough levels you don't need to worry about it. The skeptic in me says very sarcastically "sure it does"- because the good stuff is always more work. But I'm willing to focus on seductively beautiful produce for now. 

Foodist

In the previous post I noted a blog, Summer Tomato, that really resonated. I got the associated book, Foodist, and have started reading it. According to the kindle, I'm 15% of the way through, and I'm loving it. But I'm trying to read it slowly, to really think about it.

I'm loving this because it exactly conforms to what I think. Her influences are my influences: Michael Pollan, Mark Bittman, but also Willpower and the Power of Habit. Her experiences are my experiences, to a limited extent: Atkins, South Beach Diet. Her writing style works for me - she is a neuroscientist and is not afraid of the vocabulary needed to explain things, though she also puts them into more colloquial terms.  And I really like that so far at least, she has not sprinkled the text with little personal stories in boxes ("Janet was typical. She had struggled for years with her weight before coming to me...")  Instead, she runs to lists: "The Top Ten Most Overrated "Health" Foods".  I'm ready and ripe for a change from the mindset I've been in, and this book is helping me crystallize my thinking about what to actually do.

Spoiler alert: her prescription, so far, appears to be eat real food, mostly cooked at home, mindfully. I know this is the thing to do already, and so when not reading, I'm already engaged in an interior dialogue. "I can't cook at home, no time to shop and cook and clean."  At least my last two meals were made at home and featured vegetables and fruit, respectively.  But unlikely I would have done this if I had been going to work this week. Dinner took over an hour to prepare, using foods bought earlier that day that wouldn't have kept. She has promised to help with some of these obstacles, with practical suggestions. We'll see.

Here is how I would characterize my mindset: I've cycled through the same 4-8 pounds for three and a half years, essentially maintaining. This is not a bad thing, since it's more than twenty pounds below where I started. I don't hate the way I look in pictures.  But I'm not really ready to resign myself to thinking this is it for the rest of my life. Instead, I am constantly fixed on how I'm get to get those last fifteen pounds off. And I have found that not trying to lose weight seems to result in gaining weight.  The only way I have actually lost weight in the last three years is strict Atkins. I'm not wild for that now, because it generally works for 3-5 weeks, then fatigue from all the work and planning ahead sets in and I go off it.  I bounce off my rubber floor ten pounds from my goal number. The weight doesn't come roaring back but it does creep back, so back through those same 4-8 pounds I've been recycling.

I'm also tired of the rut I've been in, of what I eat and how I live. That's why I tried the extreme detox. After the detox, I tightened up for a couple of weeks on eating and exercise (following my usual very low carb eating, controlling the night time sweets), so that when I got blood work done for my annual physical, my doctor agreed it was ok for me to stay off the statins I quit some months ago. After the physical, I loosened my focus and had a few binge incidents. But I did away with my "no carbs during the day" rule and really liked how much easier it was to find food to eat. Part of the weariness of Atkins is simply trying to find takeout/convenience food that is composed of meat and vegetables, without bread, rice or potatoes.  Most food trucks, for instance, do not serve salads.  For the last month, I had several social engagements, and then traveled, and I just ate what presented itself. On this last vacation over-eating was not an issue. Finding something I wanted to eat at all was more of a problem, though there was always beer.  Partly because of "la petite maladie de voyageurs" I didn't gain or lose any weight overall.

I'm taking a few days of relative calm to read this book, do chores, and make a plan for the rest of the summer. I am looking forward to summer's bounty, but am uncertain how to cope once I get back to the hectic office.  We'll see.

More blogs to read

 A specific article from this was recommended to me, but I'm working my way through as much of the history as I can access with 3G and iPad.  This one is resonating:

Away court habits

Check it out!