Checking In

Keeping track of my resolutions and commitments...

I'm right on track with the very concrete commitment of 750 words each day, and they are often in the morning, which I think is the best use. I've done my words while sitting at my computer with coffee first thing in the morning, and on the ipad while sprawled on the couch when even starting the computer is too much work. I've done them at work - the least desirable I believe- and I've done them at night on the ipad in bed. I'm finding it helps me be focused, and I am living a very self-aware life, which mostly I think is good. This blog is useful in that way, too, but it is too public for certain things. So the daily writing forces me to put into words all of the things churning in my head - or at least some of them. I do worry that in the writing I decide on a course of action, and then I fail to see it through. I once read (in one of those many studies recapped casually in the news) that planning to do something gives just about as much psychic lift as actually doing it. This has both positive and negative implications: one can think about eating deliciousness, achieve the good feelings, and then move on (in theory); equally, one can plan to run, think it through and enjoy it, and then not do it (very much in practice). But I digress.

I have also done my mile every single day. Sometimes, it's been fairly slow on the treadmill in the basement, watching tv on the ipad or reading a book on the kindle, but a mile is better than nothing at all. I do plan my day thinking about when I will get in this activity. And I've also decided to try to get in a 5K distance at least once a week - so far every Sunday. I'm just in now from a jog/walk outside in the 100% humidity but relatively warm day. This is one of the first times all year I've gotten the heart rate up into "vigorous" territory, and I want to keep doing it. But I am very lazy. The fact is I've made a very tiny activity commitment, one that is almost impossible for me to decide not to do, because its so very tiny. And it is so very much better than nothing. It makes me feel so good, to take a walk, its very nearly being elevated in my mind to the state of religious practice.

I'm also really trying to lose weight again, because it drifted up. I'm focused on very low carb eating, and I've found a way to eat that is working for me right now. It does take a lot of planning to make sure I can execute it well, however. The basic plan is only protein and green veggies for breakfast and lunch, and limited carbs for dinner, followed by a treat.  I've found I really need the treat to have any chance of making this work.  I like meat and veggies, but they are more work than reaching for prepared food.  I have to have fresh vegetables, and I have to have meat to cook that is not frozen, and I have to have the time to cook them. This is harder than I could have imagined, especially when I am trying to make one meal for the whole family. Because the kids are teenagers, they do have their own plans and schedules and family dinner is not an every day affair. I am eating prepared foods - frozen dinners - on most of the nights we don't eat together. That gets balance and portion control both, though there is some work to make sure they are not carb and sugar heavy. They tend to have a high percentage of rice (the ones I buy) but because the total portion is small the number of carbs is low. I'm aiming at staying below 100 grams of carbs a day (tracking via My Fitness Pal) and that includes a sweet treat as well.  While I did not specifically track my food during The Big Loss, I'm pretty sure I ate frozen dinners very often at night. At that time in my life, most week nights were spent home alone, and that really worked well for me. I cooked on weekends, and counted on left overs for lunches during the week.  This way of eating is sustainable for me, but I haven't been doing it long enough to see if I will actually lose weight on it.

P.S. [added later] I really like the way I feel for having jogged over a third of my 5K. I really wish I could set up my schedule where I do this more often. If I want to actually progress to running longer distances faster and stronger, I've got to do this at least three times a week. But right now, I'm too tired in the mornings, don't have time during the day, and totally exhausted at night. Hence the tiny commitment to stroll at least a mile. But, I think I need to remember and remind myself how good this feels.