What a bad week. Stress at work was off the charts, and there was little I could do about it. It wasn't hard work that was causing the stress, it was waiting for the negative report from a major mistake we made. It culminated in a high level face to face meeting, 5:30 Friday night, on a day rated 10 out of 10 by the Capital Weather Gang, in an office overlooking the Nats game. All week, working to salvage my reputation, wondering how things would be at work after this airing. I've probably shared too much here, but it's the thing on my mind, and I can't write without including it.
So all week I gave myself permission to eat whatever I wanted, to lie around and be unproductive at home, just do what i want, basically a pass on everything else. I kept my resolution to leave the building every day, but only to visit the battalions of food trucks on the street just outside-Thai noodle and pork cubano and gyro delights. It was like I had the flu, but without having the flu. Just the "eat all the noodles and ice cream I want while lying on the couch" part of having the flu. (This is how I treat the flu. Don't you?)
Did being self indulgent allow me to cope with the stress any better?
Well, duh, no. Eating badly, not exercising, not taking care of my other responsibilities, just made everything worse. I finally fought off the funk a bit this weekend. My Vespa is finally working, if erratically, and I got a ride in, which makes me really happy. I had a starter fire in my woodstove last night (it needs to start gently each season) and I made some preparations for an upcoming fun trip to Long Island.
I went for a run this morning and didn't have such great results. I managed to keep shuffling along for the first two miles, but then my legs gave out and I walked the rest of the way home. Really? My legs? Of the three things I need to run- heart breath and legs- it hasn't been the legs that gave out before. Huh. I was really disappointed in myself, figuring it was the wages of my lost week, walking home, when it struck me. I ran two miles. A year ago I couldn't do that. So things aren't so bad. I got to just keep moving.
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2 comments:
cruising the net trying to work up ambition to do a little more work.. stress high at my place too, sorry about your crisis
and you can't take too seriously a single event that could ruin a reputation built over decades of work
we'd all jump out windows
try not to think about it if they aren't paying you to do so - PARTICULARLY if this could last a while at work
running two miles is unthinkable to me, this is an excellent thing that this is your low point!
chin up, keep smiling
Liz
wait a minute, Nan...you have a Vespa? how utterly cool. i hope you are feeling better from the flu. alice
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