With my ambitions centered firmly on me for the next few months, it's time to check in on how I've been doing so far this year. The news is not great. First, the visual:
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How to read this: Each green row is darker in the spots where it is "better".
For the red columns, I compare this year's average to last year's, red is "bad". |
It may be a pretty picture, but it's a sad story.
I have been less active this year than last year by every single measure I use. I walk less, I'm not running or biking at all, and my gym workouts plummeted when the gym closed, even though I've got a terrific home gym and I continue to pay my trainer to send me workouts to do. I'm not even walking much. Our friend Chris would be severely disappointed in me.
My explanations and rationales are plentiful. "It's too [insert:
cold, hot, wet, windy]. My dog can barely stumble around the block. I don't feel good. I don't want to get dressed. I don't feel like wearing a mask."
This is entirely under my control, and I resolve to do better. The walking has already picked up. I'm doing a couple of things to motivate myself, including getting up early, indulging myself on fun things to listen to, and doing a virtual trip of the Camino de Santiago.
My weight is very slightly better than the end of the year, but the sad truth is I put on ten pounds after my mother died and I wallowed in self-pity. I am focused on my eating, and I'm not just tracking my food, but planning each day's food each morning. It definitely helps to not walk into the kitchen and ask myself "what am I in the mood for?". Instead, since I don't need to accommodate anyone else's schedule, instead I ask myself, "am I actually hungry? Is it time to eat?". The question of what I might eat is not on the table. This works for me almost every day. But evenings remain a vulnerable point for me, though I'm making some slow progress at self talk to convince myself otherwise.
The next group of measures in the report I think of as my mental group: meditation, migraine, sleep and heart-rate. These are tied together. Sleep hours are up, and resting heart-rate is down, but migraines have been a big issue and I haven't made meditation a priority.
The next group is entertainment: books, blogging, trips downtown, and days at the boat. I'm certainly reading an enormous amount, and I've taken the time to blog both here and on the garden blog. But I've cut back local travel, for obvious reasons. I don't go into town to meet folks for lunch, for example. I am, however, starting to get more sailing in. The previous restrictions have loosened, and my boat partner and I both see this as our preferred quarantine escape. So three Saturdays in a row! (We won't do any overnights where we share a cabin, just day sails for now.)
The last group, spending on certain things, is actually the area I considered hiding my numbers because I'm embarrassed they are as high as they are. The good news is I'm spending much less on food (not unexpectedly, since last year included work lunches out and hosting family for several days). Planning my daily meals in advance means I'm much better at using up my food - I'm wasting much less. I minimize trips to the supermarket - about every two weeks - and get restaurant takeout once or twice a week, usually enough for two or more meals when I place the order. Restaurants are expensive, and normally I would only go out with other people. Now, I rationalize how I have to support local restaurants, but the truth is I just get tired of my own cooking. I wonder how I'll feel about solo takeout once socializing resumes?
I was surprised to see my monthly average spending on clothes is about even with last year. My thinking behind why is tied to my weight gain - I decided I needed some clothes that make me comfortable now rather than counting on losing enough weight to fit. And my trips - the Utah trip in February and the cancelled Iceland one - tipped me into buying some cool weather active outdoor clothes that I wanted but really didn't need. They were expensive but I love them! I am ruthless these days about returning anything I don't like, but I should stick to what I have now and force myself to shop my closet for play clothes. I also have a lot of very nice work clothes and no place to wear them. I told myself to wait a year before purging. Since this year is so unusual, and I have hopes of getting my weight back down to where those clothes fit, I'm going to wait a while longer before figuring out which few nice things truly spark joy.
So there is my sad story. I an optimistic take on it: with such low scores in the beginning of the year, I should have a good shot at the "most improved" award at the end of the year! Parents: how would you react to such a spin on the dismal tally?
