Limbo gets weirder. They've named my replacement, who will be shadowing and even replacing me for much of the next two weeks. I've started going through book shelves and drawers trying to figure out what detritus from twenty years is worth taking home. The government is very big on giving plaques out for awards. I cannot imagine a scenario where I would display those at home. Frankly, many of them are for things that I don't actually think are important, though obviously someone thought so at the time. There are maybe two that commemorate efforts where I feel my personal contribution was significant and meaningful for something that still matters to the country. Two is NOT BAD for a career as an office bureaucrat who mostly got things done through influence (as opposed to a front line operational person who may make individual contributions more often).
When my mother sold her house and moved down to Maryland, she had an office full of awards hanging on the wall. We took photos of all of them, and I recently pulled up the album that has them all for her - she has only a dim memory of some of them, but it was a really nice moment. So that's what I'm going to do: photograph the testimonies to me, keep it as a google album, and toss the physical things.
The party is scheduled, and flyers posted up around the building. People are stopping me as I move around to say goodbye. There are a lot of people I've gotten to know, and even more that I've crossed paths with over the years. I did something maybe a little odd - I got business cards printed with just my name, email, and phone. I'm going to hand those out freely. There are folks that I actually want to maintain friendships with, though not so many. There are also plenty of people asking me if I'm going to be available to work on things. Right now I just want to chill for a long while, and garden and sail and get fit and meditate and cook and eat right and only then start figuring out how best to smash the patriarchy and save the planet. But my money situation is merely ok, not "comfortable", I know some things, and I care about some things. So I'll make it easy for people to find me, and see what happens.
I have kept a fairly bright line between work and personal life. At this moment, I'm not facebook friends with anyone from work, and rarely socialized out of the office. But I'm going to start changing that, because facebook is an easy way to check in. I've also been sending connection requests freely through LinkedIn, with the "see what happens" thought in mind. But I'm really hoping to keep in touch with the few that I'd like to be friends with.
Feeling anxious this last 2-day weekend (next one is of course Memorial Day). So much to do, so little time to get it done. But soon, so soon, time will be my available resource, I will have it in abundance. I'll have to find other excuses for not doing things...
